Jake Quickenden #79 Face like a scrotum, hair's an iced gem, how long until he mentions the dead again?

[Philimena cunk]

Guess what! I had a few wines last night AND I had a lie in, it was bliss. I don’t have this endless need to validate my life on IG! It just makes him look like a needy skeleton twit.

Nobody needs to validate their existence, except screaming nobody's like this bleep.
---

And as predicted, we have a story justifying what was in that glass (with a slice of lemon) at the BBQ. He reckons it was Pellegrino water but surely when you are serving water to somebody, you serve it in a tumbler with ice!

Why did he look and sound pissed in the clip where he's talking about their Pampus Grass 'Better Together' Convention Anniversary then afterwards? I'll say it once and I'll say it again, he has a drink problem. That's why he looks so haggard. It's the booze.

View attachment 2409661
View attachment 2409662
View attachment 2409663
View attachment 2409664
View attachment 2409665

He stinks of stale sweat, booze and desperation.....

 

[Lurker111]

Fakey trying to justify that because hes out for a run this morning it means he hasnt been on the drink last night
My brother will go for a heavy night on the sauce and to get over his hangover the first thing he does is a run or the gym to just sweat it out of him.

Also fakey I hope your acting is better in the full monty than it is in that ice bath when trying to convince us tattlers that its cold

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Anybody that talks about drinking as much as he does, is a hard core drinker pure and simple. Why does he need to go on social media to tell everybody every day he’s not drinking and he’s eating healthy? Is his next documentary idea/narrative going to be about clean living and addiction to exercise?

 

[stargirl23]

Just looking at his eyes you can tell he’s off his rocker

 

[ChloBo_81]

Kate Lawler is Live from the South of France with her daughter Noah. She is there for the ITV competitions. She said she arrived on Saturday and is on a cruise ship. Poor Jacob only ever gets drafted at the last minute and sent to a zoo

Just came on to say the same. Kate is on a Disney cruise with her daughter and parents and all Fake can muster is a crappy zoo segment..... and he calls that "presenting."

 

[Jane_Mcdonald]

Boring prick is boring
Right Fakey the tattlers have spoken, and we want to see ice in the icebath now

 

[ShowMeThe Money]

He reminds me of that Fast Show character 'Brilliant' played by Paul Whitehouse. Rambling utter nonsense & drivel. "Just look at them fields brilliant and the sun in my sober eyes that's really brilliant.

 

[Keepingupappearances]

Boring prick is boring
Right Fakey the tattlers have spoken, and we want to see ice in the icebath now

Pretty sure he's had to pour bags of ice in it before to make the "ice bath" icey lol

 

[cazellie]

Anybody that talks about drinking as much as he does, is a hard core drinker pure and simple. Why does he need to go on social media to tell everybody every day he’s not drinking and he’s eating healthy? Is his next documentary idea/narrative going to be about clean living and addiction to exercise?

He seems to be jumping on the same bandwagon as Chazza Dawson. Saw her post on Tattle too saying at one time she’d be coming home in the early hours after a session with cheesy chips now it’s night feeds. Both protest too much. Miss Greedy is the same desperately trying to convince her followers she’s happy with AF drinks whilst pregnant. None of them fool me

 

[officially2020]

I thought that.
---

Me, Soph and Leo also got a pair from 'their' too. Jesus Christ. Didn't he go to school?

Soph, Leo & I … clearly never paid attention in class. Bet the teachers were ecstatic when he left if he was as much of a knob then as he is now

 

[PrincessJeanie]

He seems to be jumping on the same bandwagon as Chazza Dawson. Saw her post on Tattle too saying at one time she’d be coming home in the early hours after a session with cheesy chips now it’s night feeds. Both protest too much. Miss Greedy is the same desperately trying to convince her followers she’s happy with AF drinks whilst pregnant. None of them fool me

The similarities between him and Dawson are uncanny. Both live off dead relatives, both are tit parents and both ridiculously obsessed with social media. As for Greedy she shows off her non alcoholic drinks more than Fakey does. All vile people.

 

[Philimena cunk]

Soph, Leo & I … clearly never paid attention in class. Bet the teachers were ecstatic when he left if he was as much of a knob then as he is now

Bet he was the one at the back constantly making a bleep of himself for attention. And no mates.
---

The similarities between him and Dawson are uncanny. Both live off dead relatives, both are tit parents and both ridiculously obsessed with social media. As for Greedy she shows off her non alcoholic drinks more than Fakey does. All vile people.

I wouldn't leave Dawson in charge of a pot plant, let alone kids.
Both are bleeping useless.

 

[Robin71]

Instead of getting up early to go for a run and tell social media he isn’t drinking (lie) why the hell doesn’t he get up early and take those boys to the seaside? I never ever see him do anything just for those kids guarantee today goes like this run, gym lunch, nap then a walk and a pub meal with alcohol because that’s all they ever do as it’s what he wants I don’t think I have ever come across anyone so selfish as for the flavoured water last night yeah as someone else said he protests too much and after a year not even knowing when your wedding anniversary is what a joke although he was tiddled

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Why is she sharing her Deichmann ad again? She’s as bad as him for repeating her content. Does she think the more she shows it, she’s got more chance of getting more money or ads with them or is she desperately trying to get them to notice her and give her a grid post like they have to the rest of the zlisters advertising them

 

[JazzFan]

That’s right fakey you F off out for your little run whilst Sophie sees to Leo as usual

 

[mollyann]

It’s a bank holiday idiot go take your child outOr even your wife for a nice meal as obviously couldn’t be arsed for any other occasion that means anything.

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

It’s a bank holiday idiot go take your child outOr even your wife for a nice meal as obviously couldn’t be arsed for any other occasion that means anything.View attachment 2410162

So is he saying us Fakeys are 'his people'? We're the only ones who talk about him!
---
Why has he got to tuck in one short leg? Imagine that line up standing at the bottom of your bed at night. They would frighten the tit out of me!

---
The way he talks to that child is like he's a dog. Clearing up his toys doesn't make him 'clever'. That's something all kids are taught to do.

---
Well he must be off for a nap then whilst Flaps clears up and looks after NikNak. Always prioritising himself over everything else.

I don't know what sort of sleep he has because it's definitely not 'beauty sleep'.

 

[StrictlyNoFakey]

I hope he’s asked that lads mum before he puts him on his instagram story!

 

[Vanilla Ice]

Just showed Mr Vanilla those pics above of Fakey’s fighting fwends he said they look like gang of hillbilly’s - apologies if anyone on here is related to anyone in that group ”
Personally I wouldn’t want to bump into any one of them in daylight at alone in the dark

 

[mollyann]

Why are his shorts rolled up on one legWhat a muppet and see No neck back what a funny looking groupOnce again flaps of in front ignoring her husband Let’s see if the begging got them a free hotel stay for next weekend.