Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[Silver Linings]

She is having a lovely quiet evening with SB. Oh sorry, she’s tweeting even more than she used to and asking her enablers to tell her what to cook for tea tomorrow and telling her followers SB would eat nothing but eyelid sausages if given the choice.

Is this the promised #spon #collab that was all secret squirrel? Has she bought shares in Smart Price sausages?

In short, the elation from having got away with Peeky is making her even more insufferable than usual. A feat indeed.

 

[Tabitha D]

I actually think she does a real disservice to the poor. She is constantly used as an example of how you can eat on a cheap budget. But it’s all brown slop. Don’t eat anything nice or with meat or real bleeping potatoes.
It’s like, here’s some gruel, duck off....

It’s Dickensian gruel, basically. Cos in Jack’s world the less well off have no teeth and no tastebuds, and do not like or deserve tasty nutritious meals.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Apart from that, there’s about half a stalk of chard cut up in that, between two. How is she using her measurements of the five a day? Is she measuring in the same way she measured space and time? Living with Jack must be like that film Inception

erm she’s got a spreadsheet? In a lever arch file? She takes it seriously?

 

[Candytuft]

Doesn't Louisa want any of the stuff they bought while they were together? Normally you divide your possessions when you split up! Has L just LEFT with nary a sideboard or a chair to sit on, poor lassie?

A friend of mine moved in with her man friend. Paid half rent, bills etc. Man friend with what he saved bought a load of stuff for the house out of the money he saved. When they split, my friend couldn’t take any of it, because it wasn’t bought out of her money directly. He was careful not to buy stuff jointly. It was awful when he dumped her, because she gave loads away as there wasn’t room at his place.
A cautionary tale, Fraus.

 

[Alansbigplate]

FRIGALONG

Gif of Donald trump shouting ‘WRONG’

 

[FrumpyCat]

Sod it. View attachment 249918View attachment 249920View attachment 249921
Of course it is.

Blimey she really is the gift that keeps on giving isn’t she?

Budgeting for meals
Tiny oven
Single income
Living wage

What a load of bollocks.

Here‘s an idea Jack...move house to something cheaper If the rent is so high you’re struggling financially.
Nobody is making you spend that amount of money on rent. You are doing so because you can afford it so stop with the poverty cosplay. It may convince your more deluded followers but the rest of us see straight through you.

Didn't she say when she moved in to the crappy bungalow, it was the first place she had lived where she got to design the kitchen? So why did she chose a tiny crappy electric oven?

 

[FeelingGroovy]

Grunka-ing up the thread and Vlad has found the perfect furniture store for Jack, and kindly put pointers here.

 

[NellieBoo]

I thought she said yesterday that the sausages would be cooked in a casserole to add flavour (can't remember exact words sorry)

Yes, absolutely. Something about the fat in the eyelid/arse hole sausages imparting flavour into the casserole.

And yes, I was always told casseroles in the oven. Stews on the hob. I did GCSE AND A' Level Home Ec So of course I am an expert . None of this 'Food Tech' nonsense thankyou.

 

[Lanie]

The whole anti lockdown confuses me. Doesn't she claim that the Tories are money grabbers, yet they want to keep locking us down making the economy they need to stay rich go bust... Doesn't make sense to me. They hate it just as much as we do as many of them have businesses

 

[NellieBoo]

Posting this as it’s two blue tickers. Is Jack an anti-lockdowner now? View attachment 250004

Calm down Edgelord .

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

She is having a lovely quiet evening with SB. Oh sorry, she’s tweeting even more than she used to and asking her enablers to tell her what to cook for tea tomorrow and telling her followers SB would eat nothing but eyelid sausages if given the choice.

Is this the promised #spon #collab that was all secret squirrel? Has she bought shares in Smart Price sausages?

In short, the elation from having got away with Peeky is making her even more insufferable than usual. A feat indeed.

49 tweets since he came home from school. Has she even spoken to him?

ETA: 57 tweets.

 

[Eurgh]

Our civil liberties? Oh duck off.

 

[I steal names]

She talks such shite, doesnt she?

That's not a sausage casserole. Sausage casserole is done in the oven, has the sausages cooked inside, and they go nice and soft. What she cooked looks like what my son would come up with after being let loose in the kitchen!

I've done a bit of a grunka but not sure if I've mistaken something. Did she say somewhere Louisa had bought the expensive furniture? Has she deleted that now?!

 

[Silver Linings]

Didn't she say when she moved in to the crappy bungalow, it was the first place she had lived where she got to design the kitchen? So why did she chose a tiny crappy electric oven?

If she means that microwave looking thing perched precariously on top of her microwave then that is shocking. Fifty billion extension leads snaking past the hob and along the worktop to ‘roast’ frozen sausages for 40 minutes.

I don’t think her actual oven works, she was always weirdly testy about it on DKL and never cooked in it live.

 

[Leonard]

Grunkaing so apologies if this has already been picked up but SB “wolfing” down his meal is surely as a result of our official Fraus English Language Educational Programme (TM). No more references to “hoofing”

edit: @Marmalade Atkins of course you already noticed that. Nothing gets by this cabal!

But the big question is - will she pass the “peripatetic” module?

 

[Captainmouse]

This is a lie she isn’t LIVING on the living wage it’s not her only source of income

The living wage is to be thrown in people’s faces if they dare to challenge her. She lives on her expenses, her dividends, her patron, her tip jar, her ad revenue and links. NOT the “living wage”

 

[Alansbigplate]

I had homemade chips and a crispbake thing from M&S for my tea today and I can guarantee you it had more nutritional value that what that slop did.

It looks like something our dogs would throw up after eating too much. How she makes food look quite so unattractive I do not understand, she’s certainly a maverick in that regard - nobody else’s food makes me want to hurl like hers does.

I’m doing something wrong because I had some beans and some bread and some cheese and stupidly I just made beans on toast with cheese on top, what a twerp

 

[Silver Linings]

As this is going in her book I reckon it’s fair game.

Enjoy!

Homogenous mush. Yummy!

 

[Bumbear]

Evening frauen - longtime lurker de-lurking here...

A light backstory for fear of triangulation: it was mid-March 2020 and I had just had my winter sports holiday ruined by a lockdown in a certain european country, which resulted in me being on an emergency repatriation (stressful) train back to the UK. Upon my return, I discovered that due to covid, I had also lost all of my client work (stressful). End result - I spent quite a chunk of early lockdown in my pajamas eating cheese and drinking beer (only once the sun was past the yard-arm) feeling v miserable & anxious, whilst bingeing on Netflix and exploring Tattle.

I remember the day I found the JM thread vividly, it was Friday 20 March and whilst watching back-to-back episodes of Tiger King, I ventured out of the Instagramers section and into 'Influencers'. I had vaguely heard of JM from the interwebs, but I don't read the Guardian and I'm not a follower of Hopkins, so I kind of just knew her name.

I started reading Thread 1...at this point it was up to page 17...I'm a fast reader so I quickly got through that in between pondering the whereabouts of Carole Baskin's husband...and then the rest is history is it not?!

Every morning from then, I woke up and checked in on the JM thread - I was there in real-time for Jack's arrival on Thread 31. It was a v hot day and I sat with a beer under the umbrella in my back garden, pretty much incredulous (I loved it when she @Yel a photo).

Little did I know back in March that I'd never have to Grunka, because it took me until August to secure new client work (I'm a freelancer - I could tell you some things about how those accounts work, but I might be triangulated). So I guess I want to say THANK YOU FRAUEN for perking me up every day, especially when I was feeling tit and anxious and thought I'd never work again.

And here we are now on #75 and I've been with you for every single one! I don't have loads of things to say that haven't really been said - I wasn't a fan, I just was interested in the story...and still it continues. Ironically as I'm now back at work, I am having to grunka every evening and I'm missing reading the Food & Drink thread as I just can't keep up!

Love to you all...you've given me a lot of laughs when times have been low...

 

[Alansbigplate]

Roasted sausages inspired by Nigella, apparently. She *will* be pleased.

She’s an absolute roaster