Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[Debarkle]

Just remembered that if she’d have cooked this last week it would have been posted using a cartoon filter to protect her safety .

I think I’d have rather she had put a filter on that slop!

 

[NellieBoo]

Not only does it look vile, what will always baffle me is how it all looks the same.

Every single bloody thing. Just varying shades of brown slop. With all nutrition boiled away, if indeed there had been any nutrients in the food in the first place.

How? How does she do it? It really is a skill, albeit one she shouldn't be bragging about.

Also, why is it all slop? Why can't she just cook a pork chop or something?

A most enjoyable post work Grunka!

I am baffled by this too. Everything is brown. Brown. Brown. Brown.

 

[Captainmouse]

I’ve just spent an hour or so chuckling through it, my personal highlight was Grunka ‘sure jan’ giffing her and special mention to Pocahontas asking her to identify a kumquat by presenting her with a photo of a furry animal

You mean the covens mascot, furry boo

kumquat to his friends

 

[Universal]

I'm mostly a silent comrade but have posted in the past. Unfortunately I've been BUSY. But back to tell the fraus I love their work.
Now duck off!

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Deceased. It’s like spot the lie.

So which one is it Jack, your circumstances are better so you can afford to buy better food, or you desperately need to budget so yesterday bought £1 sausages?

And then the best bit, “I feel guilty about using too many ingredients in one dish” yet you’ve just put 15 in a dish that resembles something a dog would throw up?

To think this was wrote and published ten days ago.

All I have to say following this is...

 

[Thank(space)you]

Has anyone ever seen JM cook a joint of meat? A roast chicken? A steak? I’d be interested to know because I’ve never ever seen her make something that isn’t slop, just like @MooBelle said.

Jack, hey babes, can you post us a picture of something that looks like it doesn't need to be fed through a tube? Thankyou hun xxxx

A toastie is as solid as it gets. Now duck off dear heart, she's BUSY

 

[Steerpike88]

I’m still stunned by how twatty that expensive mirror is, who on earth thought to invent it?? She will be fewmin it’s been sourced and forensics have discovered it was used to apply shimmery shadow.

I wonder if for a 50 thread anniversary, wee Jackie would grace us in thread #81?

I saw that mirror and ordered a little one off amazon. £12! With lights and everything. I'm so stoked but feel a bit guilty as I've been putting off buying my son some more lego for around £18 and I need more shoes. But £300!!! When she's got a kid? And whines about not buying a house all day and night? duck off you ignorant, entitled tit. (that's directed to Jack btw and not you BDBA). I know she's here.

 

[Silver Linings]

Posting this as it’s two blue tickers. Is Jack an anti-lockdowner now?

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I don’t actually photoshop my cartoons
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The black eye too
(Im catching up. 20 pages. Whats this eejit been up to now!)

 

[Tabitha D]

Do we have any publishing Fraus here? Is that normal to just change the book you're writing/have been commissioned to write?

That's certainly not how it works in TV. We would get our arses handed to us if we decided to make something entirely different from what was commissioned. Hell, nobody would dare.

Unless she's just writing a load of books..... uncommissioned? I know I know trying to make sense of all the nonsense is fruitless

I wonder about that too. Presumably when you’re commissioned you sign a contract in which you agree to provide a specific project. If you provide something different, you’ve breached the contract so I guess you don’t get paid.
I also wonder what Jack was thinking when she offered payment for people’s stories for her poverty book. Whose money? The publisher’s? Cos I don’t think they’d have been very happy about that.

 

[Lanie]

Has she a grill. I tend to cook my sausages in the grill. Frying them in lard sounds horrendous to me. They are already quite fatty so frying them lard makes my teeth itch.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I actually think she does a real disservice to the poor. She is constantly used as an example of how you can eat on a cheap budget. But it’s all brown slop. Don’t eat anything nice or with meat or real bleeping potatoes.
It’s like, here’s some gruel, duck off....

 

[MrsOgre]

I thought she said yesterday that the sausages would be cooked in a casserole to add flavour (can't remember exact words sorry)

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Just subtly steering the narrative to explain away her many, many high-end possessions. - They were *all* purchased in the small amount of time that she was sharing outgoings, of course!

Doesn't Louisa want any of the stuff they bought while they were together? Normally you divide your possessions when you split up! Has L just LEFT with nary a sideboard or a chair to sit on, poor lassie?

 

[Candytuft]

The sausages were done in the crappy electric oven
Value sausages usually come out hollow when baked. All the fat just runs out.

 

[Bookweevil]

Posting this as it’s two blue tickers. Is Jack an anti-lockdowner now? View attachment 250004

Sounds like a threat. Make it later rather than sooner, Matt.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Has she a grill. I tend to cook my sausages in the grill. Frying them in lard sounds horrendous to me. They are already quite fatty so frying them lard makes my teeth itch.

She said she finds frying sausages disproportionately stressful, so she roasts them instead.

 

[Captainmouse]

Yep. Yesterday she was in the mood for pretending to be pov so was all about the smart price maize snacks.

Today she's all about the branded maize snacks as she tries to keep up with the most cutting edge content producers on twitter. Also, she is tweeting about the time a company sent her two sofas instead of one, and told her to keep the extra sofa.

Apparently this company give her exceptionally great customer service these days!

I can't wait to hear more about this in her new book all about scraping by on the breadline.

View attachment 249747

She doesn’t live in a bungalow, it a bloody tardis! who could squeeze in an extra sofa at the drop of a hat.?

 

[Alansbigplate]

Do you work with me? This is one of the delightful perks of my job. It's a perk, because if I have one of those presented, it means there isn't a slightly hysterical teacher in a classroom somewhere across the site and I can simply mask and glove up and then get on with making the phone call home.



Well, apart from today. After all my nagging children for not eating breakfast and then complaining of feeling ill, I got caught at lunchtime today. Mr D made my packed lunch, I grabbed it at 6.15am without checking it, only to find that he'd carefully chopped up celery and cucumber sticks, added some wild rocket - and forgotten to put in anything else. On my 18th trip across the site to check a register was done, my legs buckled under me and it took at least ten minutes for anybody to notice. I got practically force fed a school sandwich and a flapjack and felt fine about half an hour later.


I went straight to the Coop when I got off the bus this evening. I now have eggs, reduced steak, prawns, salmon, vegetables, mayonnaise, sriracha and chocolate soya milk cartons. I am making my own lunch from now on. There's rice, potatoes, noodles, seasonings, sauces, herbs and pasta in the cupboard. Between you and me, he's bloody tit at making a balanced meal because of his bleeping eating disorder that he won't admit he has, hence his insistence upon doing the cooking and my lunches. And I've had enough of it. Nobody wants to be the fat bird collapsing from lack of food in public. Especially when you then get the caring, supportive lectures from slim people telling me how to diet without doing myself a mischief. It's bleeping embarrassing.


Which is why any old tit like that ASDA crap really pisses me off - I spent twenty quid and there is enough to feed me well for about a fortnight with help from the Miele freezer.



Anyhow. Off I grunk. Bisy. Bak son.

View attachment 249858

Sounds like you need a ruddy big hug

 

[Lanie]

She said she finds frying sausages disproportionately stressful so she roasts them.

Okay!!!! I don't know how to respond to that