Jack Monroe #72 It’s not a government briefing, you don’t need to announce locking down

[NellieBoo]

This is really petty but shows what a narcissist she is, with everything about her. She reckons her son might even end up taller than 5ft 2in her? No tit Sherlock. (Ignore random blue squiggle).
View attachment 244546

Of course he bleeping well is . At the risk of being triangulated - I'm 5ft 2 (just, I'm shrinking ) and my partner is 5ft 7. Our 15 year old son is already taller than us both and has definitely been taller than his Dad for several months. He is one of the smallest in his friendship group. Some of the boys are over 6ft tall with beards . And tower over both parents.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

It makes me laugh that the weight of the (mythical) sideboard is so precise. 93...or 97 kg. Who weighs their furniture!? . Why not just say...100kg?

 

[MaggyMay]

I missed all her preposterous self-aggrandising Grenfell claims in my thread-hopping to catch up so I am glad it's been brought up again. Imagine being so narcissistic that you are somehow able to make a national tragedy all about yourself. Her ability to shoehorn herself into every situation (usually to harvest pity or praise) is astonishing. She must be thrilled to be locked into her private Twitter echo chamber with nobody questioning her absurd narratives.

As if she put a picture of herself in firefighter gear nearly 10 years ago while writing about Grenfell. First there was Partridge, then Brent, then Monroe.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

It makes me laugh that the weight of the (mythical) sideboard is so precise. 93...or 97 kg. Who weighs their furniture!? . Why not just say...100kg?

I wish it was mythical. Wasn't it the scene of the granny pants posing?

 

[Alansbigplate]

Wasn’t it 93kg, Alan?! I’ll check my notes in my ring binder to be sure

Probably, I can’t remember the details of the shite she comes out with

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I wish it was mythical. Wasn't it the scene of the granny pants posing?

Is the one she carried home the same one that suffered the indignity of being sat on?

 

[Alansbigplate]

I'm not entirely sure that fermenting rice, toasted or not, is a good idea. Bacillus Cereus poisoning is not nice AT ALL.

Oh, don’t be tight let her

And I can't shake the thought that I'm pretty sure female fire fighters had to campaign for specific uniform because up until really quite recently, they had to wear small men's sizes, which was argued, quite rightly, that it was a safety risk due to poor fit .

No you’re wrong they wear tights and sling backs

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I’ve never understood how people she used to work with have never came forward to call her out. If I was in the media saying I used to be an astronaut and a stand in for the Kardashians. I know the people I work with would call me out in a heartbeat.

I totally agree. I would just have to say I got a half GCSE more than I did and my ex classmates would be waiting to call me out

I think that’d why she hates Tattle so much though. Nobody is coming forward to tell the truth but she knows if they did she just has to say the people not only can’t prove anything but she can imply they’re trolling her and her loyal fans will leap to her defence. But we have receipts and very good memories! Grenfell is an example of the ridiculous far-fetched lies though. If she said she volunteered in the area, nobody would have batted an eyelid...but to say she was on the ground, with the plans (where did she even get them from!!) and involved in the rescue...well that’s a different level.

 

[Anonymous One]

I think it would be fabulous. I’d like to think she would just sit there calmly asking pointed questions whilst Jackie X tried to change the subject. Failing, Jackie X would excuse herself and go to the bathroom to repeatedly bang her head against the newly named Tap of Unconsciousness. Unflustered, Mich would call an ambulance and then go on her way, to continue using her platform to empower everyone that Jackie X had failed. The End.

Jackie would probably claim that she was actually going to be the first British female president of the USA until Putin intervened due to severe concerns that she was too popular. This forced her to stay in Southend to ensure that she wasn’t assassinated. Of course, she’ll never truly be free of Vlad.

 

[Emmapism]

Nobody centres themselves like a middle class white woman obsessed with social media

 

[NellieBoo]

Oh, don’t be tight let her


No you’re wrong they wear tights and sling backs

Oh well, she's gosh darn gorn and done it now. Who are we to point out a possible fundamental fermenting error .

 

[Lanie]

I don't know for certain but can't you get plans for buildings from councils or something? Or did I make that up, perhaps she did that, however if it is a thing I think you have to wait a few weeks for it to come through?!

 

[Silver Linings]

From the horse’s mouth. Neigh.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Ever seen the documentary ‘the woman who wasn’t there’ about this woman who made up that she lost her partner in 9/11 and said she herself was in one of the towers? Combine her with Helena B-C in Fight Club & who have we got?

 

[kachoochoo]

It makes me laugh that the weight of the (mythical) sideboard is so precise. 93...or 97 kg. Who weighs their furniture!? . Why not just say...100kg?

nah, not mythical, and didn't people spot at least 3 (it's the magic number)? and I think their website has the weight. oh, and that bit where she'd set up the "photography studio" in the porch, I'm pretty sure I spotted a cotswold co shoe rack

 

[Alansbigplate]

From the horse’s mouth. Neigh. View attachment 244622

As ever *chef’s kiss*

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Is the one she carried home the same one that suffered the indignity of being sat on?

She does have a lot of sideboards I suppose.

 

[Alansbigplate]

nah, not mythical, and didn't people spot at least 3 (it's the magic number)? and I think their website has the weight. oh, and that bit where she'd set up the "photography studio" in the porch, I'm pretty sure I spotted a cotswold co shoe rack

Oh she’s set up another thing today in an entirely new room in the crappy bungalow of dreams

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I assume that the Fire Service have physical requirements in order to work as a Fireman/woman. I don't think JM would have measured up (literally). Too short and not strong enough. Also, don't fire service people do their own cooking while on shift? If so, can you imagine the rest of the crew wanting to eat rinsed bean slop.

Nah, based on JM’s theory on meeting their criteria, I’m off to join the London Fire Brigade because I’ve been watching London’s Burning on the Drama channel

 

[Scotty1976]

From the horse’s mouth. Neigh. View attachment 244622

As Mrs Doyle from father Ted says "oh go on "