Jack Monroe #72 It’s not a government briefing, you don’t need to announce locking down

[heretoreaditall2019]

Either Jack is going after Vlad's Bitcoin as he seeks new ways to neutralise his opponents, or her next trip to A&E will involve a stomach pump.

lmaooooo “neutralise his opponents” is so perfect nothing can come close, but major Jeffrey Dahmer vibes off this too

 

[Captainmouse]

The scientist will be someone she knows who did a biology degree at a 1970's polytechnic. The architect will be a guy that works as a bricklayer on a building site. The lawyer will be someone who is sick to the back teeth of JM contacting them to take us Tattlers to court.

Who does she think she is, you ask? A living legend in her own lunchtime.
ftfy

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I hope she knows the weight of all 4 sideboards...

 

[Bookweevil]

It makes me laugh that the weight of the (mythical) sideboard is so precise. 93...or 97 kg. Who weighs their furniture!? . Why not just say...100kg?

JM is the postergirl for precision. This is why all the information she broadcasts about herself leaves no room for ambiguity, criticism for sincerity or confusion over timelines. I’m afraid @DinosaurSenior that if you’re going to take this sloppy approach to hard-hitting facts you shouldn't really be following JM’s howling kombucha of truths.

 

[NellieBoo]

I am so disgusted by the way she tried to shoehorn herself into the Grenfell disaster. Really, it's utterly vile. She reminds me of those people who see a horrific motorway crash on the news and gasp in horror that they drove on the same stretch of road the day/week/month before and go on about 'It could have been meeeeeee'. But on a bigger and more macabre scale. Shut the duck up.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Has she given up the cartoon filter?! Say it ain't so! What about the safety!? Won't somebody think of the celery!

If she was so concerned about the celery’s safety why did she tell us he lives in Southend or Edinburgh, can’t remember if he got a holiday this year

 

[blurstoftimes]

Horrible grief tourism from Jack, I see. Grotesque.

I'm not entirely sure that fermenting rice, toasted or not, is a good idea. Bacillus Cereus poisoning is not nice AT ALL.

I'm not sure what Jack has tweeted but Horchata is a lightly fermented Mexican rice drink that is perfectly safe and also delicious! Dosa is made from fermented rice batter too. I think the risk of food poisoning is from cooked rice?

 

[Walkdengirl]

From the horse’s mouth. Neigh. View attachment 244622

Come back to us darling, you know you want to

 

[Ninch55]

From the horse’s mouth. Neigh. View attachment 244622

Speculation my backside. You’re the one that posts all that tit, Pinocchio #2.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Come back to us darling, you know you want to

She's too busy eating sandwiches and pissing.

 

[Emmapism]

I am so disgusted by the way she tried to shoehorn herself into the Grenfell disaster. Really, it's utterly vile. She reminds me of those people who see a horrific motorway crash on the news and gasp in horror that they drove on the same stretch of road the day/week/month before and go on about 'It could have been meeeeeee'. But on a bigger and more macabre scale. Shut the duck up.

Thiiiiiiiis!

Sometimes an issue or tragedy is important enough on its own, without being loosely tied to the person posting about it. Jack loves doing this. She bladdy loves it.

 

[LavaFlake]

I am so disgusted by the way she tried to shoehorn herself into the Grenfell disaster. Really, it's utterly vile. She reminds me of those people who see a horrific motorway crash on the news and gasp in horror that they drove on the same stretch of road the day/week/month before and go on about 'It could have been meeeeeee'. But on a bigger and more macabre scale. Shut the duck up.

Some guy I went to university with wrote a blog after the Manchester Arena bombings, detailing how he went to a concert in 2006 there and it could have been him so easily Very JM vibes.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

JM is the postergirl for precision. This is why all the information she broadcasts about herself leaves no room for ambiguity, criticism for sincerity or confusion over timelines. I’m afraid @DinosaurSenior that if you’re going to take this sloppy approach to hard-hitting facts you shouldn't really be following JM’s howling kombucha of truths.

I.....I understand

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

She's now musing on Twitter about the 5% chance that she might have another child. I had actually wondered if she might consider that at some point, she's still young enough.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Vlad is very good

 

[Captainmouse]

Watch out, bbc showing docu about ambulance call handlers, elevenrifa queen incoming

 

[Bookweevil]

From the horse’s mouth. Neigh. View attachment 244622

Why would you fill a tiny room with a massive sideboard? Picturing the rest of the crappy bungalow‘s rooms filled to capacity with single, giant pieces of unnecessary furniture.

 

[Silver Linings]

She's now musing on Twitter about the 5% chance that she might have another child. I had actually wondered if she might consider that at some point, she's still young enough.

She ‘accidentally’ put a pregnacare vitamins box in a pic once and dangled her fishing rod over twitter and then predictably went off on people who spotted it.

Baby pics of SB now on twitter. Stop using him for content, Jack.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Some guy I went to university with wrote a blog after the Manchester Arena bombings, detailing how he went to a concert in 2006 there and it could have been him so easily Very JM vibes.

I knew someone who was there (nowhere near the actual incident) and although I’m sure it was still traumatic, has used it as an opportunity to get herself and her kids invited to things with all sorts of famous people. It’s quite disgusting. I blocked her on FB.

 

[Froggies]

I hope all the photos she’s posting of SB have the cartoon filter applied, given that she’s using that filter to protect him and all that...