traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
I think her usage of 'hoofed' is quite apt since she permanently has her foot in her mouth.
Friends, it is time to give you my review for the final two episodes of DKL. The first thing I noticed in episode nine (putting on my fashion maven hat) is how dreadful and unflattering that denim shirt with puffball sleeves and sparkly embroidery is. At around five minutes in, when they cut to one of the guests on the screen, you can hear Jack stage-whispering 'I don't have my cards'. A consummate professional at work. To put to bed the whole question of chain restaurants, when Jack is talking about how long you could cook her dal recipe for, she herself says 'there is a chain of restaurants in London - Dishoom - that do theirs for twenty four hours'. During a question segment, Jack is asked why beef mince can have different percentages of fat. She helpfully responds 'well it just does, doesn't it?’ I give this episode five gabbled adjectives for dal out of five.
Most of episode ten is completely uneventful. I find myself getting distracted, contemplating whether Jack's heavy breathing and nasal voice quality have anything to do with her adenoids. Perhaps she should add that to her list of ailments. Matt dares to compare Jack to THAT MAN while she is shaking up a salad dressing in a jar. She is quick to tell us that many chefs have used this technique, lest we think that she has any respect for Jamie Oliver in particular. At about thirty minutes in we get a shot of one of her cards, on which she has scrawled the words 'today Matt I'm making a lentil bean + kale salad'. In my weird little maverick brain it makes me think of someone appearing on Stars in Their Eyes in a kale salad ensemble. Add that to the list of potential court outfits. As the series draws to a close, Jack's final words are 'thank you so Matt much, Matt'. The RSPCA turned up on my doorstep looking for an owl in distress. I rate it one wheelbarrow chicken out of five.
I would like to wrap up by saying that for a bunch of horrid harpies and harridans you have been very lovely and welcoming.
Now fuck off.
I believe this is your first, so to honour the occasion, your gifted Cotswold Co. sideboard will be shipped within the next 3–5 days, and we’ll expect pictures of you on it in due course. I hear the cartoon filter is all the rage these days.
The greedy little goblin! 
) bedtime? 
She did one thing we could respect, and that was protecting his privacy. Her shambles of a life and lack of content means shes now super mum and plastered his face over social media, discussed his education and mental health and accuses US of violating her family!? YOU SAID YOUR 10YR OLD HAD TO CHECK YOU WERE ALIVE.
) but look at the whole triangulation threats she was making, suggesting she could essentially track us to our doors! I've never seen anyone suggest doing similar to her, other than to point out the stupidity in her decision to share photos and information with the public that could easily reveal her home location.
