Jack Monroe #579 She's essentially Scrappy-Doo in a bell jar now

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Of course Jack has to elevenerife her birthing experience. 30 hours of silent labour? Give me a break.

And demanding the screen be removed during her caesarean? That never happened.

Anyway, the radiators are probably quivering in fear at the Bungamansion today as the honours list comes out and Tracey Emin is made a dame but there's no MBE for her most devoted art fan and champion of the poors.

And demanding the screen be removed during her caesarean? That never happened.

And even if it did (it didn't) she wouldn't be able to see any details because she would be lying flat. The likelihood of an emergency maternity surgical team wasting time scouring a hospital for a large mirror, and having it suspended above her in the theatre, where it would block the lights and probably get in the surgeon's way - well, that likelihood is about the same as a whining, self-pitying, moaning, attention-seeking grifter giving birth without making a noise.
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30 hours of silent labour from someone who can post 500 vapid tweets in a day?

Sure hun.

Actually - if she'd claimed that she posted 500 vapid tweets while she was in labour, I could have believed it.

 

[Shimmering]

I pulled a radiator off the wall when I was a child. I would lie on the floor and pull myself up to stand by hanging on to the top of the radiator. Manys a time my parents warned me to stop but I didn't listen. One day when pulling myself up the whole thing came away from the wall and started flooding.

Good times.

 

[Lazarus]

If she was silent during childbirth how did she get them to turn the screen round so she could see?

Fancy glass pen and moleskin notebook. I’m sure she’d have passed a note. Either that or semaphore.

 

[Foxvint]

Whaddacunt.

View attachment 2995586
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Original SS by @lilamay and @FlirtyThirty

30 hours in labour with no pain relief. OK girl. I'd usually say all births are miracles but hers isn't. Hers is just bullshit. Thank god she only had the one, the weary twit.

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Just having a browse on the old Instagram and there is an account on there called meme origination, one of them is the origin story of Old Harold. I would do a link but I am not good and it might link to my insta.
Edited because I am a ninny and thought he was actually called Harold!

 

[Soup or Noodle]

Did someone say Tracey Emin? View attachment 2995751

Spoiler: Apparently I nap like an Emin now

View attachment 2995752View attachment 2995754

What the actual frump is she wearing?

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Fancy glass pen and moleskin notebook. I’m sure she’d have passed a note. Either that or semaphore.

Semaphore Jack would be worth watching - at least we'd be spared the honking!
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What the actual frump is she wearing?

She's such a fecking melt.

 

[Soup or Noodle]

And demanding the screen be removed during her caesarean? That never happened.

And even if it did (it didn't) she wouldn't be able to see any details because she would be lying flat. The likelihood of an emergency maternity surgical team wasting time scouring a hospital for a large mirror, and having it suspended above her in the theatre, where it would block the lights and probably get in the surgeon's way - well, that likelihood is about the same as a whining, self-pitying, moaning, attention-seeking grifter giving birth without making a noise.
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Actually - if she'd claimed that she posted 500 vapid tweets while she was in labour, I could have believed it.

She's been getting reality and crappy American daytime TV muddled again.

 

[Lazarus]

Happy anniversary to this:

Jack Monroe #517 She's not Nazanin Zahghari-Ratcliffe mate

lol

tattle.life

 

[secretsrsafe]

Whaddacunt.

View attachment 2995586
View attachment 2995596

Original SS by @lilamay and @FlirtyThirty

Do they give you paracetamol when you’re in labour? Genuine question ftom non-mother.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Happy anniversary to this:

Jack Monroe #517 She's not Nazanin Zahghari-Ratcliffe mate

lol

tattle.life

She's a monster. "in that time period" was never elaborated on. This is a far worse scandal than the Patreon.

 

[Phillipa78]

Do they give you paracetamol when you’re in labour? Genuine question ftom non-mother.

Yeah, they tell you to take it before you go to the hospital. I had a fear of being sent back home and so I only just made it to the delivery room. A genuine paracetamol delivery.

 

[rage naan]

View attachment 2995236

May be safer to stick to horse racing. Yesterday's winners included:


Chaos Control 2/1
Fair Taxes 20/1
Cypriot Diaspora 4/1
Cock And Bull 5/2

I won big because I put a fiver each way on Bylines Everywhere. it came in second after Greedy Goblin

 

[Superdude]

Do they give you paracetamol when you’re in labour? Genuine question ftom non-mother.

Yes. Often that's all they'll give you, for hours and hours, as they keep the good pain for later on in labour.

 

[rage naan]

Fancy glass pen and moleskin notebook. I’m sure she’d have passed a note. Either that or semaphore.

maybe she just @-ed the surgeon in a tweet
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She's a monster. "in that time period" was never elaborated on. This is a far worse scandal than the Patreon.

this one drives me bananas. of all her lies and obfuscations, this one really gets to me. "exactly as I said I would do" no you didn't no you didn't no you didn't aarrrtgghhh

It's like it's designed to enrage. First you have to sort out the whole " if it's not pro bono" vs it actually never happened. Then you have the disappearing tweets. Then you have the "time period" bullshit. It's so annoying

 

[Nonah]

If she was silent during childbirth how did she get them to turn the screen round so she could see?

I’m such a nob. I didn’t realise until reading other comments that she meant the SURGICAL screen they have up so you can’t see your own entrails. I thought it was a TV screen of some sort #notamother

 

[Soup or Noodle]

I’m such a nob. I didn’t realise until reading other comments that she meant the SURGICAL screen they have up so you can’t see your own entrails. I thought it was a TV screen of some sort #notamother

Snap...hence my American daytime TV comment #alsonotamother

 

[PamTax]

I’m such a nob. I didn’t realise until reading other comments that she meant the SURGICAL screen they have up so you can’t see your own entrails. I thought it was a TV screen of some sort #notamother

It’s also not a screen so you can’t see- it’s to establish the sterile surgical field to avoid infections. Reason number 344 that we know she’s lying.

 

[MurielSnark]

It’s also not a screen so you can’t see- it’s to establish the sterile surgical field to avoid infections. Reason number 344 that we know she’s lying.

She probably did ask for the screen to be removed and was firmly told no. Typical Jacksie twist of words.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I had a similar labour experience, long labour followed by emergency CS. The idea that she would have been in any fit state to calmly and clearly ask for the screen to be removed, and that the staff would accommodate this request when their job is to ensure the safe delivery of her baby, is laughable. I can honestly say that when I was lying in the theatre the single only thing I cared about was my daughter making it safely into the world. Not one single other thought was capable of existing in my brain.