Jack Monroe #579 She's essentially Scrappy-Doo in a bell jar now

[Django]

It’s also not a screen so you can’t see- it’s to establish the sterile surgical field to avoid infections. Reason number 344 that we know she’s lying.

344, are you new here?
I can imagine big Choco marching about saying that 'something needs to be done', Mammy Eva crying and wailing about being a nurse and SB's baby daddy being at a total loss. Anyhows...the hospital would have blown up from the gas from the radiator leaking into the operating theatre and

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Drs and midwifes are another set of people we can add to the list that sigh a big sigh when she fucks off! She always brings drama!

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Do they give you paracetamol when you’re in labour? Genuine question ftom non-mother.

Yes! It’s like a joke. Paracetamol and a bath! Wouldn’t be that for men.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

She probably did ask for the screen to be removed and was firmly told no. Typical Jacksie twist of words.

Even without the screen you can’t see anything. You have a epidural in your spine which anaesthesises your body from the boobs down. So you can’t sit up even if you wanted to. And the action takes place on the other side of your massively distended belly, under the point where your pubes begin to grow. By the time you’ve cooked a baby to term, you haven’t seen your pubic region for months, believe me

 

[chizontiz]

I’m such a nob. I didn’t realise until reading other comments that she meant the SURGICAL screen they have up so you can’t see your own entrails. I thought it was a TV screen of some sort #notamother

babe, same!!! We’re nobs together, I felt like a right plonker when I realised loooool

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Even without the screen you can’t see anything. You have a epidural in your spine which anaesthesises your body from the boobs down. So you can’t sit up even if you wanted to. And the action takes place on the other side of your massively distended belly, under the point where your pubes begin to grow. By the time you’ve cooked a baby to term, you haven’t seen your pubic region for months, believe me

I've been waiting for someone to explain why this is logistically impossible. Thank(space)you.

 

[Captainmouse]

It’s also not a screen so you can’t see- it’s to establish the sterile surgical field to avoid infections. Reason number 344 that we know she’s lying.

Your avatar reminds me that they now do viennetta lollies

 

[Django]

I want to add this to the wiki: where did the "tearing radiators off the walls" come from?

What have you started??
BTW, forensic is another word that guest doesn't understand.
forensic meaning https://g.co/kgs/NhYdqPF

 

[BlendedSlop]

She's a monster. "in that time period" was never elaborated on. This is a far worse scandal than the Patreon.

I guarantee she intended the "time period" to mean the few hours her begging tweet was up before being deleted, not the full year further donations would have been coming in in response to her insisting in multiple print interviews and personal appearances that the case was going ahead.

 

[rage naan]

I guarantee she intended the "time period" to mean the few hours her begging tweet was up before being deleted, not the full year further donations would have been coming in in response to her insisting in multiple print interviews and personal appearances that the case was going ahead.

EXACTLY but she will never admit it. It makes me so cross

 

[Seaford Haggington]

EXACTLY but she will never admit it. It makes me so cross

And the price she is paying for that lie, as so many others, is to be forever in limbo. She will never be able to return. Every attempt at a comeback thwarted.

 

[MurielSnark]

Even without the screen you can’t see anything. You have a epidural in your spine which anaesthesises your body from the boobs down. So you can’t sit up even if you wanted to. And the action takes place on the other side of your massively distended belly, under the point where your pubes begin to grow. By the time you’ve cooked a baby to term, you haven’t seen your pubic region for months, believe me

Oh I know all this. Jack's an idiot of the highest order. Once again, making the birth all about her needs and wants, with no mention of the tiny SB who must've been poorly and possibly in distress if her later comment about extended hospital stay is true.
---

And the price she is paying for that lie, as so many others, is to be forever in limbo. She will never be able to return. Every attempt at a comeback thwarted.

Good. It's a small measure of accountability but a significant one.

 

[Grifty Mc]

I pulled a radiator off the wall when I was a child. I would lie on the floor and pull myself up to stand by hanging on to the top of the radiator. Manys a time my parents warned me to stop but I didn't listen. One day when pulling myself up the whole thing came away from the wall and started flooding.

Good times.

I broke a door once when I was off school sick. We had cheap doors because povvo. And I was feeling a bit better but bored and I was jumping round the sofas as you do but tripped (probably due to actually being ill) and landed into a hollow non solid wood door. My mum came running and I had to instantly make up some story about getting up to go to the loo and fainting.

Needless to say I think my mum had the last laugh as I was probably back to school the next day!

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Your avatar reminds me that they now do viennetta lollies

Aldi do their own version, the mint ones are very popular in my house.

 

[HarryPotHead]

Also had a paracetamol labour. But that was because I decided to have a shower, a little snack and made my husband have breakfast and a shower "cos it might be a long day" before starting the journey to the hospital nearly had her in the car park

Jack, as ever, is LYING

 

[MurielSnark]

This just popped up on my socials -- an oldie but a goodie from Gemma Correll.

When we talk of guest and her trotters, here's what we mean:

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Your avatar reminds me that they now do viennetta lollies

And very nice they are, too!
---

I broke a door once when I was off school sick. We had cheap doors because povvo. And I was feeling a bit better but bored and I was jumping round the sofas as you do but tripped (probably due to actually being ill) and landed into a hollow non solid wood door. My mum came running and I had to instantly make up some story about getting up to go to the loo and fainting.

Needless to say I think my mum had the last laugh as I was probably back to school the next day!

Failed the door test, eh?

We had the toast test in Chateau ShedMice

MOUSELING- <whine, whine, whine> I feel so ill, my head/ legs/ eyeballs/ fingernails hurt. I don't know if I can even stand up. I expect I'll faint at the bus stop. (Drags self to standing with heavy sigh)

ME - Oh you poor thing. Come here. <puts paw against mouseling forehead>. Mmmm - you do feel a bit hot. Perhaps you'd better stay off school today.

MOUSELING - (in a weak voice) Maybe I'd better. You could be right, Mammy. I'll just give it to everyone else <coughs feebly>. (flops back onto chair)

ME - I'll ring the school after breakfast. Would you like a slice of toast?

MOUSELING - (even more feebly) Yes, please. With jam. And lots of butter.

ME - <puts plate of toast in front of them> And when you've got that down you, you can get to school. If you're well enough to scoff toast, you're well enough to go in.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Aldi do their own version, the mint ones are very popular in my house.

*Pops coat on and heads out to Aldi...

 

[LizzieE.]

Any one I've known who had an emergency C section were in a state of relief and terror.

I wonder if she's tried to tell this very tall tale in real life? Or does she just type tit and forget it if it's online?

I enjoy birth stories. Some women know how dramatic theirs is and others are grateful it wasn't a nightmare or generally didn't have that bad of a time. Myself included. But that load of old cobblers is just too much.

My bet is she was terrified, (quite rightly, it's a scary thing to have a chat section) then was creating havoc before and after. I

Being so cool she says she wanted to watch?
Nope.
Where does she come up with this shite?
Is she writing episodes for Casualty?

 

[Cucumberthunder]

The anesthetist asked if I wanted her to film my C-section on my husband's phone. I politely declined. Although she did take a photo which I still haven't looked at.

It's also worth noting that an emergency C-section isn't necessarily panic stations. It just means unplanned. My first was technically an emergency, but it was all very calm and I had time for a nap beforehand, it's just my labour wasn't progressing (despite them throwing the hormonal kitchen sink at him, he didn't want to come out!)

Editing to add that with my second the surgeon tried to encourage me to not have the screen up. I'm guessing I could've glimpsed some bits. But when. He uttered things like "shall we pop the uterus back in" and "oh it's a bit of a blood bath" I was thankful the screen was there. I don't think a C-section is the best time to test how squeamish you are...