Jack Monroe #574 She's definitely lying about something

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Valiofthedolls

Valiofthedolls

StatusWoe said:
This is actually her recipe for hummus.

Houmous? Houmus? Why are there so many spellings of this word?
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Just what every four year old wants for their birthday party
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So good, she regurgitated it again for DKL in slightly more pallid (and weirdly chalky?!) form. Irregardless, it doesn’t look like food.
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Anyway, bollox to hummus, if you’ve also got a banana or two and a nice cuppa, why not try wasting good food by making…
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oursouthend.wordpress.com

Banana, chickpea and tea curry (trust me on this one, it’s amazing.)

This is my take on a banana curry I had in the Isle of Wight after the literary festival. It’s not a traditional Kashmir curry, as I used what I had in the cupboard, but it is utterly delicio…
oursouthend.wordpress.com oursouthend.wordpress.com

Jack, #Thanks
Thanks for all that you do.
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Carefree

Carefree

Bloody hell, @Valiofthedolls. You must have a cast-iron constitution for these deep dives in guest's awful portfolio. Chickpeas, bananas and tea currified?? 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
 
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TheMiceInTheShed

TheMiceInTheShed

rage naan said:
Are you telling me you don't look like Sophia. I am so disappointed

I take a dreadful picture. I always did even before my looks disappeared like sauce off a rinsed hoop when I hit middle age. People would say "be in this photo" and I would go "no, I am whatever the opposite of photogenic is" and they would say "shut up don't be stupid " and then they would take the photo and go "huh. you look normal in front of me but this seems to be a photo of a soggy tomato. How" and I would say "see I told you so" but the upshot is, about 2 nice photos of me exist and those were taken 15+ years ago

Anyway so I feel empathy for those who tend to not look their best in pics. I lose empathy when someone filters a pic into blurry oblivion and then insists it's ✨the magical mystery witchcraft of makeup ✨ for attention
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disappeared like sauce off a rinsed hoop

A worthy thread title, surely!
 
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StatusWoe

StatusWoe

Valiofthedolls said:
Just what every four year old wants for their birthday party
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So good, she regurgitated it again for DKL in slightly more pallid (and weirdly chalky?!) form. Irregardless, it doesn’t look like food.
View attachment 2951045View attachment 2951046
Anyway, bollox to hummus, if you’ve also got a banana or two and a nice cuppa, why not try wasting good food by making…
View attachment 2951054View attachment 2951066View attachment 2951056
oursouthend.wordpress.com

Banana, chickpea and tea curry (trust me on this one, it’s amazing.)

This is my take on a banana curry I had in the Isle of Wight after the literary festival. It’s not a traditional Kashmir curry, as I used what I had in the cupboard, but it is utterly delicio…
oursouthend.wordpress.com oursouthend.wordpress.com

Jack, #Thanks
Thanks for all that you do.
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Noooo not the innards hummus! Imagine how it would emerge? All that fluorescent beetroot...
 
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TheMiceInTheShed

TheMiceInTheShed

BeardyBap said:
See to me Tracy Barlow nee Langton is still a toddler snatched from her buggy JackMonroeStylee just before a passing lorry shed its load of planks in the doorway of the Rovers. What a cliffhanger! I’m still on tenterhooks 50 years later. Is the child OK? TRACY!!!
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I'm still grieving for Blanche.

I have no idea what happened to Our Tracy
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StatusWoe said:
Noooo not the innards hummus! Imagine how it would emerge? All that fluorescent beetroot...
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That's not pink!

That's fecking MAGENTA - I've seen less lurid blood clots.
 
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G

Grifty Mc

Valiofthedolls said:
Just what every four year old wants for their birthday party
View attachment 2951037
View attachment 2951040View attachment 2951039View attachment 2951043

So good, she regurgitated it again for DKL in slightly more pallid (and weirdly chalky?!) form. Irregardless, it doesn’t look like food.
View attachment 2951045View attachment 2951046
Anyway, bollox to hummus, if you’ve also got a banana or two and a nice cuppa, why not try wasting good food by making…
View attachment 2951054View attachment 2951066View attachment 2951056
oursouthend.wordpress.com

Banana, chickpea and tea curry (trust me on this one, it’s amazing.)

This is my take on a banana curry I had in the Isle of Wight after the literary festival. It’s not a traditional Kashmir curry, as I used what I had in the cupboard, but it is utterly delicio…
oursouthend.wordpress.com oursouthend.wordpress.com

Jack, #Thanks
Thanks for all that you do.
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Handful or coriander, or mint, or parsley fffs
 
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Geetbo

Geetbo

Batten down the hatches tenderstems, politics Jack is going to be back with a vengeance.
 
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Carefree

Carefree

Valiofthedolls said:
And how do we CONFIRMED it’s a curry? Well, as @MurielSnark observed re: guest’s errr…curries,

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I'm not even a fan of curries but this is truly horrifying. If these show up in my nightmares tonight, I'm suing you 🤣
 
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Valiofthedolls

Valiofthedolls

CrackingOwlSanctuary said:
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Yes, I am procrastinating.
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Oh Owly, every time you pop up I love even more than before that your cheeky lil’ duo avi is still the bum vase off Sloppy Savers ❤

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On national TV in an opportunity for which she’d been (she claimed) waiting seven years. Royally fucked it up by being crap at cooking, crap at presenting, and also by being unhygienic, greasy and bleeping filthy looking because she clearly hadn’t even bothered not to go on a bender the night before filming, and also apparently hadn’t bothered to wash herself, her hair or her clothes. No wonder the vase turned its arse to her.
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Grim. Here’s one of the live ones, from @Yel

Jack Monroe #298 Perhaps she would get a mortgage if she paid her taxes and didn’t spank money on rusty spoons

WE ARE A GRUBBY CESSPIT OF LITERAL TAXPAYERS We keep receipts too! *Taps sign*
tattle.life
Edit: for timeline clarification, she claims she’s been sober since before Sloppy Savers. Nice collages @Marmalade Atkins ❤
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Onestorytoomany

Onestorytoomany

Big L is just your average middle aged person. Liks guest there is nothing remarkable about her. In fact she looks like a cookie cutter version of a middle aged person, with an ' interesting' view of fashion and a pick me personna.
 
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BeardyBap

BeardyBap

Valiofthedolls said:
Just what every four year old wants for their birthday party
View attachment 2951037
View attachment 2951040View attachment 2951039View attachment 2951043

So good, she regurgitated it again for DKL in slightly more pallid (and weirdly chalky?!) form. Irregardless, it doesn’t look like food.
View attachment 2951045View attachment 2951046
Anyway, bollox to hummus, if you’ve also got a banana or two and a nice cuppa, why not try wasting good food by making…
View attachment 2951054View attachment 2951066View attachment 2951056
oursouthend.wordpress.com

Banana, chickpea and tea curry (trust me on this one, it’s amazing.)

This is my take on a banana curry I had in the Isle of Wight after the literary festival. It’s not a traditional Kashmir curry, as I used what I had in the cupboard, but it is utterly delicio…
oursouthend.wordpress.com oursouthend.wordpress.com

Jack, #Thanks
Thanks for all that you do.
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Well, you could’ve knocked me down with a tin of own brand peach slices.
 
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