Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy

[moldwarp]

That atrocious LBC interview is the perfect example of how she could never be more than a blogger/Twitter hole... not only is she awkward and completely charmless, her voice could curdle horse spunk milk.

Even if she ever had something of worthwhile to say, who the duck can listen to that?

It really is impossible to listen to isn't it. It's like watching a best man give his speech and he's terrified and stammering and mumbling. You're cringing and wondering if he's going to get through it...really uncomfortable

Even more cringy is the tone of Jobbie's voice and the way he treats her. Many years ago I was alone at a very early AA meeting making tea and coffee before everyone arrived. One of our regulars who was homeless with serious mental health problems staggered in drunk ranting and raving with a knife tucked in his waistband. I used the same cautious, careful tone of voice with him as Jobbie's using on Jack here
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It truly is absolutely baffling that she (allegedly) wasn’t born until almost the 1990s, yet writes as if she came of age during WW2 when lemon curd rationing (and jitterbugging with American GIs for the lower class girls) was all the rage.

From that 2021 Vogue piece.
View attachment 2880822View attachment 2880823

Spoiler: Not forgetting the classic

TWENTY FOUR years old when she wrote this View attachment 2880847View attachment 2880842View attachment 2880843of course.

I do wonder if she got that 1950s style language from her Baptist (or was it methodist? I can never remember) upbringing. They can be quite socially judgemental like that no?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I agree with you re Jack, but surely her parents weren’t happy with her leaving school with few qualifications or prospects. From everything we know about them they’re the type who want/expect their children to ‘do them proud’. I can’t believe they didn’t try to get her to stay in education, even if it was vocational rather than A levels.

Am 100% of the opinion that “I left home at 16 to work in a fish and chip shop”

is Jack-speak for “My parents were upset that I’d fucked my GCSEs and SPITE-flounced out of school and any other education, so I SPITE-flounced off in a tantrum to live with Nan and Saint Grandad (at their lovely house, not their ghastly B&B) for a bit, and of course, Grandad gave me that job in his chip shop. That showed THEM!”

 

[Cookiecookie]

2013: “I didn’t trip and land on it.”
2023: “Until that time I ate a poppy seed curry.”

I've always pondered that one, because typically opioids have the opposite effect to making someone feel horny. Obviously she's full of tit, but y'know

 

[RandomFishOils]

I know someone who blames his mother because he failed his a levels. All because she kept him in his private nursery and he didn’t go to school nursery for his half days (in the 1970s when we didn’t do much more than play). It’s narc behaviour.

God, this is my sister. Typical narc. Spent her entire school years fooling around, under age drinking, glue sniffing and fighting, and came out with a couple of low-grade CSEs. But the reason she apparently didn’t do well is because our parents weren’t on the board of governors (if you met my parents, you can’t think of anything less likely). Whereas I came top of my year at the same school, straight As (as they were then), selective sixth form, Russell Group university and a Master’s. Yes, I have pointed out that funnily enough, my parents weren’t on the Board of Governors either.

 

[moldwarp]

I've always pondered that one, because typically opioids have the opposite effect to making someone feel horny. Obviously she's full of tit, but y'know

This is the woman who claimed to take 40 tramadol a day; that a marker of being a premature baby is having extra hand skin as an adult; that being able to invert the bottom knuckle of your thumb is a classic symptom of SEVERE ARTHRITIS; and that dirt under the fingernails is a reliable genetic indicator of a Mediterranean heritage....so, ya know.

 

[StatusWoe]

Pleeeeeaaaase tell me this is photoshopped.

@Nonah I'm so sorry. This is the unfiltered slop. I should have put it behind a spoiler.

4 years later and still burst out laughing when I saw the picture.

I still can't believe it was shown on TV. DKL was live so they didn't have the option of removing it during editing, but you'd think they'd at least do some emergency censoring - blurring it out, maybe?

Just piping in here after a few vinos:
1) do foodies usually eat lasagne with a spoon?
2) why leave it in the packaging if you’re going to put it on a plate?
3) why has she only eaten out of three or four? Waste food, much?
4) why has she not put wallpaper on the table ffs
5) no shots of her taking photos with her tongue?
This is performative Jack in a nutshell. It’s pasta joke to be honest

No one is going to lose weight if they eat 19 lasagnes.

 

[YerDa]

Spoiler: Not forgetting the classic

TWENTY FOUR years old when she wrote this View attachment 2880847View attachment 2880842

That spoilered pic is of Emily Lloyd in Wish You Were Here, based on the life of a proper rebel, Cynthia Payne. Emily has had crippling psychological problems that have dogged her throughout her life, otherwise I suspect she’d have been incredibly successful as she had real talent.

Anyway, my point is that in no respect is that image representative of guest

(Edited because I inadvertently made it sound as if Emily had pegged it )

 

[TrolleyParton]

I hear you, but… she obviously managed to kiss the right people/arses, as less than 8 months after that whinge in March 2012 View attachment 2880756she was already exhibiting her dead seagulls and other shite photography in gallery spacesView attachment 2880760

Wedding Night: Photography by Jack Monroe

Wedding Night: Photography by Jack Monroe. All rights reserved. Framed (black or white): 4"x6": £18 6"x8": £32 12"x16": £48 To order, email [email protected]. For more photography, click...

web.archive.org

and had startup premises for her shite art and craft “foundation” at the same gallery, so quit her short lived job to become a full time artiste. View attachment 2880775

and by NYE 2012, another imminent exhibition
View attachment 2880770
And for that matter was showcasing various images with Southend Arts Council as far back as 2009
View attachment 2880757

MEL HADJICOSTAS

PHOTOGRAPHY

melhadjicostas.blogspot.com

Soooooo excluded.

I have to wonder if she was "showcasing various images with Southend Arts Council" in the same way that she was "working with Channel 4's Fame School" (or whatever bleeping bullshit that was, I CBA to look it up just now), in that she wasn't and the whole thing was a fabrication?
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That spoilered pic is of Emily Lloyd in Wish You Were Here, based on the life of a proper rebel, Cynthia Payne. Emily had crippling psychological problems that dogged her throughout her life, otherwise I suspect she’d have been incredibly successful as she had real talent.

Anyway, my point is that in no respect is that image representative of guest

One of my favourite films of all time, she's absolutely brilliant in it. Up yer bum!

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I agree with you re Jack, but surely her parents weren’t happy with her leaving school with few qualifications or prospects. From everything we know about them they’re the type who want/expect their children to ‘do them proud’. I can’t believe they didn’t try to get her to stay in education, even if it was vocational rather than A levels.

If she is the same now as she was then they probably thought it was a waste of time. We know she’s a lazy arse. I imagine they thought her getting a job would teach her some routine and responsibility for a bit and she could do some training when she grew up a bit. Never happened though.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

That spoilered pic is of Emily Lloyd in Wish You Were Here, based on the life of a proper rebel, Cynthia Payne. Emily had crippling psychological problems that dogged her throughout her life, otherwise I suspect she’d have been incredibly successful as she had real talent.

Anyway, my point is that in no respect is that image representative of guest

It's a great film and Emily was brilliant in it. She is also a nepo baby though. Though she clearly has talent unlike guest. Emily's grandfather was a Hammer Horror actor and I suspect many slops were used in the special effects department. So perhaps guest is even older than we thought.

 

[YerDa]

I have to wonder if she was "showcasing various images with Southend Arts Council" in the same way that she was "working with Channel 4's Fame School" (or whatever bleeping bullshit that was, I CBA to look it up just now), in that she wasn't and the whole thing was a fabrication?
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One of my favourite films of all time, she's absolutely brilliant in it. Up yer bum!

Cock off!

 

[MurielSnark]

Her comment about the "closed Southend arts scene" winds me up.

Most industries are closed to some extent because patronage exists everywhere and people tend to like working with people who look and think like them.

However, education is one way to create access -- you have a much better chance of breaking into whatever scene if you have a relevant qualification. And, in the creative industries, gaining a qualification also means you'll have had critical feedback on your work from people skilled and experienced in the field. There's no downside to this and there is a wealth of educational opportunities at all levels, from local colleges to adult ed to universities.

If guest wanted to be a photographer, why didn't she go to college and learn about it?

Of course, education is only a piece of paper if it's not matched by dedicated, focused work.

Guest is very arrogant and entitled if she believes neither education nor hard work applies to her. She can duck right off.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Cock off!

Definitely shouted by guest at startled passers by on Southend seafront as she wandered with her pram, also occasionally shouting out “THIS BABY WAS BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK!” begging for someone, anyone, to gasp or tell her to shut her legs

 

[YerDa]

It's a great film and Emily was brilliant in it. She is also a nepo baby though. Though she clearly has talent unlike guest. Emily's grandfather was a Hammer Horror actor and I suspect many slops were used in the special effects department. So perhaps guest is even older than we thought.

Yes, it’s one thing getting a job because your dad gets you in despite your uselessness, a whole other when you’re very obviously astoundingly great at it.

 

[StatusWoe]

Her point about weight loss? This isn't supported at all by what she's recommending here -- just clickbait to lure you into the article.

She's not giving Monroesque absurd economics of costing half an onion and a teaspoon of spice but there's no real substance here and little understanding of what it takes to eat well on very little money.

This is just one more middle class foodie telling the povs to eat turkey legs and lentils every day. I'd lose weight too if I had to face that.

I also think it's misguided to talk about weight loss when you're writing a general article about budget cooking. For one thing, it raises red flags about the calorie content of the recipes - are you saving money because the portions are diet-sized? Second, it's wrong to assume people want or need to lose weight. Children need sufficient calories, obviously, and not all adults should be eating smaller portions. Weight loss doesn't always equal health.

Sorry, this is sort of a me-rail because I'm trying to gain weight with the help of a dietitian and it's frustrating how much healthy eating and budgeting advice is geared towards cutting calories. Sometimes you need to increase them!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Her comment about the "closed Southend arts scene" winds me up.

Most industries are closed to some extent because patronage exists everywhere and people tend to like working with people who look and think like them.

However, education is one way to create access -- you have a much better chance of breaking into whatever scene if you have a relevant qualification. And, in the creative industries, gaining a qualification also means you'll have had critical feedback on your work from people skilled and experienced in the field. There's no downside to this and there is a wealth of educational opportunities at all levels, from local colleges to adult ed to universities.

If guest wanted to be a photographer, why didn't she go to college and learn about it?

Of course, education is only a piece of paper if it's not matched by dedicated, focused work.

Guest is very arrogant and entitled if she believes neither education nor hard work applies to her. She can duck right off.

Bet she was even more of a nightmare than we already suspect at THE NEWSPAPER too, given that she’d applied for that “trainee journalist” job a full year before, but they didn’t want her.

Needless to say, she had the last laugh by IMMEDIATELY bombarding them with her insufferable pompous asinine musings,

and continuing to do so for an entire year until they finally broke and hired her.

Dear LJC.

Sure, Jack. Just repost verbatim everything you were going to say.

Spoiler

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Today's inflation announcement shows that prices are now rising less quickly than at any time since 2021. Since then, most of us have experienced prices rising by around 17.3% on average, with food prices up almost 31%.

But not for Jack.

No, she has claimed throughout that "there is no cost of living crisis", that her weekly shop is "£20 a week, still", and that Asda have actually cut their prices by so much that she can now buy 2 baskets of food for the price of one previously.

With the official figures finally falling closer to Jack's imaginary numbers, perhaps she can now finally get round to publishing the VBI?

What a triumph that would be, having missed the cost of living crisis entirely!

Have you been in Asda lately?

It's like stepping through a door into Stalinist Russia. Empty shelves, locked fridges, security tags on everything, terrible lighting, Gulag-grey complexioned staff. I used to really love Asda, now it's just bloody depressing. The staff are really nice though - some of hem I've known for years because I've shopped there for donkey's, but they all look worn to a frazzle.
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Bet she was even more of a nightmare than we already suspect at THE NEWSPAPER too, given that she’d applied for that “trainee journalist” job a full year before, but they didn’t want her. View attachment 2881048View attachment 2881049Needless to say, she had the last laugh by IMMEDIATELY bombarding them with her insufferable pompous asinine musings, View attachment 2881063and continuing to do so for an entire year until they finally broke and hired her.

Dear LJC. View attachment 2881051
View attachment 2881056
View attachment 2881052

Sure, Jack. Just repost verbatim everything you were going to say.
View attachment 2881057

Spoiler

View attachment 2881058

I suppose a job trial is better than no trial at all . . .

Edit for grammar. (look- it was a stupid mistake and it was getting on my tits, OK!? )
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That atrocious LBC interview is the perfect example of how she could never be more than a blogger/Twitter hole... not only is she awkward and completely charmless, her voice could curdle horse spunk milk.

Even if she ever had something of worthwhile to say, who the duck can listen to that?

I once saw Christopher Hitchens in debate with Somebody Christian. He was pissed out of his skull, but still came across as highly intelligent and was able to remember facts and Marshall his arguments and was absolutely charming (I mean- I'm a lay minister and honestly, I'd rather have spent an evening being de-bunked* by CH than have spent one with Mr Pokerupthearse at the other podium). He was also hilarious (intentionally - not because he did anything stupid

The point being that even if you're ratted, if you are intelligent and you know your area of expertise back to front, it will shine through.


*not a euphemism (but I wish it could have been; he was a ver' sexy man)

 

[L3moning]

No one is going to lose weight if they eat 19 lasagnes.

Thread title suggestion

 

[rage naan]

Cock off!

Betty Gra-a-able!

 

[LydiaDeetzHat]

Perhaps having to have their “four things I won’t eat” whiteboard installed in the kitchen was the final straw.

was guests minnie one of them?