Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I’ve also never understood why her GCSE results were apparently somehow set in stone. A lot of people I knew got less than great results, myself included. Did we all weep, wail and blame Borbora forever? No, we went to the local sixth form college and did resits and A levels, or vocational BTECs. I genuinely don’t understand why she didn’t do this, it was standard practice in my area.

Because she’s a narc and it’s everyone else’s fault. Redoing them would mean taking some responsibility and of course if she failed them again it would show she’s not actually as clever as she thinks she is (not at all).

I know someone who blames his mother because he failed his a levels. All because she kept him in his private nursery and he didn’t go to school nursery for his half days (in the 1970s when we didn’t do much more than play). It’s narc behaviour.

 

[Carefree]

I redid my CV recently (it's a list of jobs I've done, guest ) and only took the qualifications off because of the need to keep it to two pages. I also passed 10 GCSEs, despite the trauma and bullshit going on at the time including my oldest friend's accidental death.

tit happens, you relentless moron, and you move on.

 

[Lobster Johnson]

tit a brick! Just went looking for the original ss from @Mel Donte about guest’reluctant GCSEs” and found this from @Mel Donte instead! guest’s ORIGINAL Our Southend blog!

using up my Abel and Cole!!!
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I (an oppressed independent artist) ALONE SHALL SPEAK FOR YOU!
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Twenty bleeping three years old. Already an insufferable bleep.

I AM SOUTHEND at this page

Why OurSouthend?

Why OurSouthend? Because it is ‘our’ Southend. Not just ‘Southend for the monied’ or ‘Southend for the day trippers’ or ‘Southend for the people who curren...

web.archive.org

More FANCY recipes with real ingredients. This a-way.

2012 March « Our Southend

web.archive.org

Soooo poooooooor! (None of these survived the transition from Our Southend to her new “A girl called Jack” iteration mere days later, after she got noticed by THE NEWSPAPER) View attachment 2880069
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2012 March « Our Southend

web.archive.org

Ah yes, the elitist closed shop that is the, checks notes, Southend arts scene.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

I didn’t listen to that whole radio thing (couldn’t be arsed).
I knew it was bullshit when she said her radio alarm went off at 7am..

What’s that strange rambling story about pricing broccoli and getting more annoyed all day, is this her being a wordsmith again?
---
And I’ve probably said it before why does she act like it was a shock she needed to travel to work when she came back from maternity. When did Big Dave retire? I worked with someone whose dad drove them in on his way to work every day, he was close to retirement and she would have been screwed. I always wonder if BD drove her.

Perhaps they moved the fire station while she was on maternity leave, in an attempt to shake her off? Maybe it started off just down the street from her and she just used to roll out of bed (late for her shift, obvs) don her little yellow wellies, pick up her life-saving axe, bid farewell to her loved ones and go Bravely into the Unknown to Save Lives*, but when they had the chance because she was spending 6 months in bed sleeping like a Rembrandt (or Heironymous Bosch) painting, they thought "This is our chance" and demolished and rebuilt it brick by brick 20 (or maybe 30) miles away.

Be fair - if it had worked it would have been worth it.

*By not cooking meals for anyone

 

[MediumLoad]

Because she’s a narc and it’s everyone else’s fault. Redoing them would mean taking some responsibility and of course if she failed them again it would show she’s not actually as clever as she thinks she is (not at all).

I know someone who blames his mother because he failed his a levels. All because she kept him in his private nursery and he didn’t go to school nursery for his half days (in the 1970s when we didn’t do much more than play). It’s narc behaviour.

I used to know someone who blamed his parents for taking him out of state school and sending him to a fee-paying one as being the root of all his problems.

Mainly because he couldn't be arsed putting in any effort and was eventually expelled for non-attendance.

He's spent the intervening decades avoiding anything like a day's work and sneered at the rest of us for sorting ourselves out and getting on with our lives.

Now we're sneered at for "being part of the system."

These days, I cross the road if I spot him coming towards me.

 

[PunkyMonkey]

I redid my CV recently (it's a list of jobs I've done, guest ) and only took the qualifications off because of the need to keep it to two pages. I also passed 10 GCSEs, despite the trauma and bullshit going on at the time including my oldest friend's accidental death.

tit happens, you relentless moron, and you move on.

BIB therein lies the problem.

Generally as you trundle through life your younger academic achievements and jobs get replaced by professional qualifications and experience.

Her two page CV would very much still have room for the oft retconned number of GCSEs, and I suspect that's why she still finds it relevant.

I absolutely tanked my A Levels thanks to discovering new, interesting friends (and weed) at college but now have two Masters degrees because I grew up a bit and made an effort to get back on track. Having been here a while I know a lot of you have very similar stories re early education/home to adulthood, whether it's professional success or enviable family lives (I love reading about ninnies' offspring, animals and significant others, it warms my jaded little heart!) or overcoming various kinds of traumatic experience or all of these and more.

How she's still got the same resentful and resigned teenage attitude (that I had when I got my exam results, no shade, your teens are a tough, confusing time) at almost forty when she's had a child and published successful books and been engaged to a smart, interesting woman and been on the telly during Lockdown (all major achievements and launchpads for knuckling down to focus on goals/success IMO) is baffling.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Today's inflation announcement shows that prices are now rising less quickly than at any time since 2021. Since then, most of us have experienced prices rising by around 17.3% on average, with food prices up almost 31%.

But not for Jack.

No, she has claimed throughout that "there is no cost of living crisis", that her weekly shop is "£20 a week, still", and that Asda have actually cut their prices by so much that she can now buy 2 baskets of food for the price of one previously.

With the official figures finally falling closer to Jack's imaginary numbers, perhaps she can now finally get round to publishing the VBI?

What a triumph that would be, having missed the cost of living crisis entirely!

 

[chizontiz]

I get the strong impression Big D was absolutely livid with her results and that’s why she’s so obsessed with them. Her whole life seems to be oriented around the contradicting goals of impressing him while also trying to prove a point by “taking her own path”.

Maybe Mama E was displeased too, maybe she was supportive who knows - Jack doesn’t seem to have anywhere near the desperation to be approved of/prove wrong/get attention from her as she does her father.

someone i went to uni with said her dad cried when she got As & Bs in her GCSEs because apparently she'd 'ruined her life' by not getting straight A*s. They were a super academic family & I think she was the youngest, and the only one who didn't go to Oxbridge. She was still intimidatingly clever! I hope she's happy now and has told her family to go swivel.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

Ah yes, the elitist closed shop that is the, checks notes, Southend arts scene.

I know you’re joking, but for access to arts funding pots, the Southend arts scene actually is an elitist closed shop! You’ve got to have an ‘in’ with a particular long-established clique, and even then you’d only have a chance of getting promoted/gallery space etc. if you kiss the right arses and/or if the right person fancied you.

 

[chizontiz]

Shop-bought & fingered?

paging dr geets! @Geetbo

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Because she’s a narc and it’s everyone else’s fault. Redoing them would mean taking some responsibility and of course if she failed them again it would show she’s not actually as clever as she thinks she is (not at all).

I know someone who blames his mother because he failed his a levels. All because she kept him in his private nursery and he didn’t go to school nursery for his half days (in the 1970s when we didn’t do much more than play). It’s narc behaviour.

I agree with you re Jack, but surely her parents weren’t happy with her leaving school with few qualifications or prospects. From everything we know about them they’re the type who want/expect their children to ‘do them proud’. I can’t believe they didn’t try to get her to stay in education, even if it was vocational rather than A levels.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Looks like old Slopper has been on the Celerytown sleeper and poisoned the water supply with offal awful slops. Kudos for CeleryLive giving us a clue in the form of Daniela Westbrook. They can't really tell us it was guest in case she pretends to sue them and they don't want to support another grift because they are saving up for an orangery in which to breed stetsons.

 

[moldwarp]

She can’t swim, so just the Tufty Club membership on guest’s CV.

To anyone new to Tattle, this is how it works. Jack snarks at someone who dares to criticise her:

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It then takes about two minutes to find all the instances where she is actually lying about any and all assertions about herself. For example, clearly endorsing cheap battery meat:
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And going ga-ga over the designer leather goods she’s splurged on for herself - Mulberry, Kate Spade and Burberry included - some of which may indeed be buttery soft.

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Sorry but I slightly lost it at the 'clever tip' (Jack clearly thinks it's clever) of making 'twice the amount of sausages' by....CUTTING THEM IN HALF.

I know those smartprice sausages, they're tiny and get even smaller when cooked. She's basically ended up with thimble size sausages that won't provide any more nutrients, calories or satisfaction for her family than when they were whole and she's tried to disguise this fact by picturing the whole thing in vomit-inducing close-up, they look like small amputated thumbs. SB has EYES, Jack. He KNOWS you're not giving him any extra meat. Imbecile. Let's hope he gets proper full size meals with his resident parent.

 

[TrolleyParton]

The commenters on that post are all “of a type” (to put it politely)

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Yes please!

Here you go

Spoiler: Screenies

In chronological order/the order of the ss in that post
Conservative Party Conference speech

Jack Monroe - an inspiring and amazing address

Personal Blogs

learn1.open.ac.uk

Littlejohn

Dear Richard Littlejohn – here are all the things you got wrong about me | Jack Monroe

Jack Monroe: I'm not single, and I didn't quit my job for a life on benefits, but why let facts get in the way of your Daily Mail column?

www.theguardian.com

Brentwood

Jack Monroe: 'I'm a lefty, liberal, lezzer cook'

The blogger behind A Girl Called Jack on food poverty, bullying and standing up to Richard Littlejohn. Interview by Tim Adams

www.theguardian.com

Vogue

“We Should Recognise One Another As Human Beings”: Anti-Poverty Campaigner Jack Monroe On The Realities Of Going Hungry

Chef, author and anti-poverty campaigner Jack Monroe reflects on her own experiences as a struggling mum for Vogue, after the government came under fire once again over free school meals

www.vogue.co.uk

That couple of days in of Autumn of 2013 was a very precise time. Number 19 on this years Pink List lesbian, to be precise

Depo-provera injection, to be precise

#awks

Hello, Vogue!

Spoiler: Lies! Lies! Lies!

The lies just flow like a river of oil and vinegar dregs mixed with tea shandy. From the Littlejohn clapback

two weeks earlier, bickering in the comments under her article. Left the firephone in November 2011,

Both of these things are complete bollox too. Not 18 months, and she packed that full time job in after 3 months so she most definitely hadn’t been “working full time since February

Such a bleeping awful person. If she was a stick of seaside rock and you snapped it open, it would just have “Irredeemable Insufferable bleep” written all the way through.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

2013: “I didn’t trip and land on it.”
2023: “Until that time I ate a poppy seed curry.”

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I know you’re joking, but for access to arts funding pots, the Southend arts scene actually is an elitist closed shop! You’ve got to have an ‘in’ with a particular long-established clique, and even then you’d only have a chance of getting promoted/gallery space etc. if you kiss the right arses and/or if the right person fancied you.

I hear you, but… she obviously managed to kiss the right people/arses, as less than 8 months after that whinge in March 2012

she was already exhibiting her dead seagulls and other shite photography in gallery spaces

Wedding Night: Photography by Jack Monroe

Wedding Night: Photography by Jack Monroe. All rights reserved. Framed (black or white): 4"x6": £18 6"x8": £32 12"x16": £48 To order, email [email protected]. For more photography, click...

web.archive.org

and had startup premises for her shite art and craft “foundation” at the same gallery, so quit her short lived job to become a full time artiste.

and by NYE 2012, another imminent exhibition

And for that matter was showcasing various images with Southend Arts Council as far back as 2009

MEL HADJICOSTAS

PHOTOGRAPHY

melhadjicostas.blogspot.com

Soooooo excluded.

 

[nothanksbabes]

Also, if you “went sober over three years ago”, so before April 14th, 2021
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How do you account for this performance where you were clearly absolutely fucked off your chump on January 21st 2022? View attachment 2875664


Oh, and that you were shouting about being ONE YEAR SOBER at the end of June 2022.
Suggesting you didn’t “went sober” until…the end of June 2021. Again, not “over three years ago”.
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ss @Marmalade Atkins

Make up your bleeping mind, you absolute LYING charlatan
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That atrocious LBC interview is the perfect example of how she could never be more than a blogger/Twitter hole... not only is she awkward and completely charmless, her voice could curdle horse spunk milk.

Even if she ever had something of worthwhile to say, who the duck can listen to that?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

It truly is absolutely baffling that she (allegedly) wasn’t born until almost the 1990s, yet writes as if she came of age during WW2 when lemon curd rationing (and jitterbugging with American GIs for the lower class girls) was all the rage.

From that 2021 Vogue piece.

Spoiler: Not forgetting the classic

TWENTY FOUR years old when she wrote this

of course.

 

[MediumLoad]

I know you’re joking, but for access to arts funding pots, the Southend arts scene actually is an elitist closed shop! You’ve got to have an ‘in’ with a particular long-established clique, and even then you’d only have a chance of getting promoted/gallery space etc. if you kiss the right arses and/or if the right person fancied you.

Heh,

I used to be involved in the local arts/media scene in the 90's.

One of my colleagues came up with the idea of an exhibition to showcase new artists.

We put in the legwork and drew up a shortlist of about a dozen names.

We sent the list up the chain of command and back it came with all but one name crossed out and the usual crew of 40-ish and upwards mates of the director listed instead as "New and Exciting artists."

The sole up-and-coming young artist left on the list?

Only happened to be the daughter of one of the usual suspects.