Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy

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this.
I grew up in Liverpool in the 80s and 90s. I know how raw the anger and outrage was and still is because it was the culmination of a decade long attempt to destroy us and our city.

But I wouldn’t try to make a memorial all about me because it isn’t. It’s about remembering that it could have been any set of fans that day and about getting justice for 97 people who went to a football match and didn’t come home.
 
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That “cute as a tiny shiny button” shite always makes me want to hurl my phone through the fucking wall.

Shut up Jack, you utter simpering moron.
 
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Can one of you who is in the comments club tell her the P D James was the first British woman to hang glide over the Irish Sea, and see if she tweets it?
that's nothing, I was the first British woman to rollerblade down the Mall in the scud propelled by a firework you-know-where
 
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Currently eating overnight oats with fruit but wondering if I fucked them up and should have added something like…I dunno… bean juice?

Possibly a dash of random fermented oils from various tinned fish?

Can’t believe I ruined my breakfast by not adding these things last night 🥲
 
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So what did she economise on to save for The Breitling?
She is a fucking disgrace, just eat cheaper tomatoes and you too shall have spare cash to waste on shite ( or very expensive watches)
 
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So what did she economise on to save for The Breitling?
She is a fucking disgrace, just eat cheaper tomatoes and you too shall have spare cash to waste on shite ( or very expensive watches)
It's yet another manifestation of her weird tory boomer mentality - if you stop eating avocado toast you too can buy a flat in Dalston!
 
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Plus if you buy her bullshit that she was living hand to mouth surely she was buying value tomatoes to put off having to unscrew the lightbulbs for another day rather than saving up for spenny hats. Surely you'd also save up for something for your child rather than yourself?
 
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Hence she gives me heartburn all the time. No amount of saving and scrimping is going to fix a system that's stacked against the poorest.

Nor does working hard makes things better when 6th January is when "the earnings for the typical FTSE 100 CEO will have surpassed the total annual wage for a full-time worker in the UK".

No one can say the cleaners, nurses, teachers, etc, don't work hard but they're not adequately compensated. Or MPs consistently give themselves higher wages, subsidised food and drink, expenses, and so on whilst doing the bare minimum, as proven by how broken this country is at the moment.

But sure, I'll pick up crappy, watery tinned tomatoes and make sure to not enjoy life. You bloody lying, repugnant bellend.

https://giphy.com/cmYsdSxgnQJy0
 
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And from the same woman who only a year earlier said it’s not lip fillers, I’ve just spaffed £2.50 on a tube of Pringles. Budget shopping for a decade to buy a hat. Yup.
 
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Between soft softy soft soft wool suns attracting hideously decaying copulating moths (wait, or was that the Hopkins butterfly metaphor? I lose track with her bullshit sometimes), rose copper moons turning their gaze from her quim, and chicken-stars, I think we can safely say she knows as much about celestial bodies as she does Georgian cuisine.

Also, I got this ad earlier and thought it was some of her execrable crafting for a moment.

View attachment 2878063

God almighty!

Can you imagine trying to dust those buggers in a house full of spaniels and long-haired cats?

(Only kidding! You'll never catch me dusting HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
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And from the same woman who only a year earlier said it’s not lip fillers, I’ve just spaffed £2.50 on a tube of Pringles. Budget shopping for a decade to buy a hat. Yup.
When any true povvo will tell you that they're usually on a clubcard price, or similar, so she must've gone to the estheticians corner shop.
 
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And from the same woman who only a year earlier said it’s not lip fillers, I’ve just spaffed £2.50 on a tube of Pringles. Budget shopping for a decade to buy a hat. Yup.
I will never not laugh at the Pringles claim. It really is one of her most pathetic and transparent lies ever. And why?? I've never had a tweakment myself (in fact one of the best days of my life was when I had the liberating realisation that I had become too old and ugly to attract the male gaze) but if I did and I liked how it looked I would be proud of it tbh. Same with any body modification like tattoos or peircings. What's the point of hiding or denying it?

Plus, spicy Pringles? Jeez, Jack. No one eats Pringles by smearing them on their lips; you have to actually insert them into your mouth and swallow for the intended effect. At least say you ate a ghost pepper or something. Moron.
 
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I’m most upset that there’s a cook book with the title NOM NOM. What is the world coming to.
I’m guessing they were trying to pick up on people searching for the equally disgustingly named Pinch of Nom books. They’ve inexplicably got another one out about air fryers.
 
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I’m guessing they were trying to pick up on people searching for the equally disgustingly named Pinch of Nom books. They’ve inexplicably got another one out about air fryers.
At my old job my manager and his wife both worked for the company but she was part-time with kids. When another colleague asked if his wife would like Pinch of Nom for her birthday, he said no as he quite likes not being divorced!
 
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Plus, spicy Pringles? Jeez, Jack. No one eats Pringles by smearing them on their lips; you have to actually insert them into your mouth and swallow for the intended effect. At least say you ate a ghost pepper or something. Moron.
Not spicy Pringles, but “sizzlin” sour cream. The blandest flavour they make. Unless she’s trying to pass it off as a lactose reaction, in which case her lips would look like this after all the pints of gold top she keeps guzzling:

 
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