Sporting her trademark 1930s fascist haircut, Jack ascends the podium to address her loyal and adoring wedding guests. “Are there any Tattlers here planning to report back? Lock the doors! No one leaves, fam! Oi oi, Mosley!”
Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy
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She’ll be hoping people THINK she delivered it.
Tim Harford from BBC radio 4 ‘More or Less’ (otherwise known as the Undercover Economist) bigged her up and even mentioned her in his children’s book The Truth Detective. Well Timbo, her ‘truth’ was a bit of a fib and the much lauded VBI doesn’t exist.
You all know she would stand on a podium and warble something cringey and romantic ( just think madonna in evita) and she would declare not a dry eye in the house afterwards from the powerful emotion everyone was feeling at not only her catterwailing but the the fact, that she the wer unwanted street urchin, finally found her happy ending. Meanwhile two drunk guests are openly bleeping on the back table.
I could NEVER post a photo like that.
My dogs would be outside those meatballs in less than a heartbeat.
EDIT - Just realised your dog was next to bluebells, not meatballs.
Je suis désolée.
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Self portrait with sprouts?
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These images literally gave me a migraine. 30 minutes of zigzag patterns was still easier to look at than that gross beetroot (?) green oozing...thing.
That weird looking thing with pools of 'blood' for the vegans is horrifying.
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How would Big Chocco get his MBE in to the wedding speech - I told Jack, when I got my MBE (pause for applause) that she could have her wedding at St Paul's Cathedral (chuckle, pause for laughter) but here we are at Southend Registry Office (pause for more laughter) etc etc.We joke about her many fiancées and yet never making it up the aisle, because imagining a Jack wedding is
- the buildup
- Jack actually would turn up, likely on time too. No last minute lie-ins, PTSD door knocker hiding, no Jaccident. She’d be there staking a legal claim on whichever poor sap has agreed to marry her.
- telling the photographer how to do their job
- hiring SB’s dad as photographer
- actually turning up in a boring-ass classic white wedding dress but wearing DM’s (edgy!)
- banning alcohol (did you know she’s in recovery?)
- Big Chocco’s speech being neither short nor hilarious
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Got the catering sorted for the wedding, lads.
Jesus Christ. I live in the Midlands
and how Peaky Blinders is still a thing I’ll never know. I watched about 20 minutes of the first episode and that was it. The Pig in Pipkins had a better Brummie accent.
Has she moved yet?
www.theguardian.com
Squatters take over Gordon Ramsay hotel and pub in London
At least six people lock themselves in Grade II-listed York and Albany next to Regent’s Park and post notice
www.theguardian.com
I am deceasedI could NEVER post a photo like that.
My dogs would be outside those meatballs in less than a heartbeat
Self portrait with sprouts?
I don't fancy the meatballs' chances if my dog was stood next to them either. Unless Jack had made them, of course.
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"a nice touch"
I see she’s no longer private 
looks like football jack is the next iteration then
Ffs she’s really back, isn’t she? 
Omfg she’s back 
FTFY Jack
Beautifully expressed.
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