Yes, Monna’s mount pattern is different too. Thank you for protecting us from guest’s … um … proclivities tenderstem, but you forgot to cover up her filthy fingers and the flappy hellmouth of her “pancakes”.Apart from Marble by Jack Monroe. Jack Monroe must have been BUSY, cos “Monna” kindly signed that one.
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Think the matching signature also appears on Pancakes by Jack Monroe tho
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(Covered your spaniel’s ear and prominent southeasterly nip with a nice forever home ~with giant eucalyptus~ Jack. Everyone’s a winner!)
Jack Monroe #558 I own a fridge! This is my cooker! Look at my rug! Look at my duvet!
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Ok, second attempt. How’s this? Added a nice big trophy (for all the good that she does), and some lovely lovely sideboards.
Can't find the bloody comment to quote it but it looks like Jack is holding a bigger version of this. Revolution palettes are actually pretty cheap as far as these things go:
Perfect. TYFATYD
The dripping pancake and the sliding ice cream photos are doubtless supposed to be aesthetically pleasing but they just make me think of how much Vanish I'd need to get the sticky mess off the carpet
Also, why is a supposed food writer boasting about how bad she is at baking cakes? Presuming it's not a crocembouche and just a basic sandwich sponge, surely it's one of the easiest things to make, you just follow the measurements and steps exactly and there you are? No particular skill or imagination required, it's like the steps for a chemistry experiment. Hence why it's one of the few cooking things you can do with young kids and actually let them get involved.
I mean, this is Jack, who claims to be so forensic about measurements that she was once surprised by the rozzers whilst weighing out 0.2g of MSG at 3am (I suppose you just had to be there). And yet she claims to be so bamboozled by weighing scales that she can't bake a sponge that holds sufficient consistency to support a layer of buttercream icing?
Bet she made it nasty on purpose to show LJC how stressed and put-upon she is.
Also, why is a supposed food writer boasting about how bad she is at baking cakes? Presuming it's not a crocembouche and just a basic sandwich sponge, surely it's one of the easiest things to make, you just follow the measurements and steps exactly and there you are? No particular skill or imagination required, it's like the steps for a chemistry experiment. Hence why it's one of the few cooking things you can do with young kids and actually let them get involved.
I mean, this is Jack, who claims to be so forensic about measurements that she was once surprised by the rozzers whilst weighing out 0.2g of MSG at 3am (I suppose you just had to be there). And yet she claims to be so bamboozled by weighing scales that she can't bake a sponge that holds sufficient consistency to support a layer of buttercream icing?
Bet she made it nasty on purpose to show LJC how stressed and put-upon she is.
Kumquat!
I hate eyeshadow palettes. Who needs to choose between 48 different shades of red, blue and green ?Just give me three shades of brown
It wouldn't come at all!
Revolution palettes are pretty cheap but she did have her expensive Urban Decay one and dozens of lipsticks ...
I'm kind of spite-using palettes at the moment ever since Sali Hughes (of whom I am NOT a fan, yes she has her own threads ...) confidently declared them cringe and said everyone's using just one or two neutral shades now. But I agree that you don't need over 100 colours - yes, even for guest's rainbow eyeshadow looks - unless you are a makeup artist. On the other hand her son's dad was married to a makeup artist at the time and guest wanted to one-up her hence the Mrs Gloss era
I'm kind of spite-using palettes at the moment ever since Sali Hughes (of whom I am NOT a fan, yes she has her own threads ...) confidently declared them cringe and said everyone's using just one or two neutral shades now. But I agree that you don't need over 100 colours - yes, even for guest's rainbow eyeshadow looks - unless you are a makeup artist. On the other hand her son's dad was married to a makeup artist at the time and guest wanted to one-up her hence the Mrs Gloss era
She looks like her hands are bloody! It looks like she's murdered someone and is now celebrating with ice cream!
yeah. Prince Lumpys brother doesn’t like him to contact members of their family directly. He thinks it should be through him. It’s so he can manipulate stories about us. It’s batshit and he’s a twit. We ignore obviously.
Try about £80/£90Agree but in my experience a lot of narcs and emotional manipulators are like this. The one main narc in my life never failed to be astonished and outraged that I had information about them which they hadn't carefully packaged and filtered for me - they couldn't believe that I would dare to, ya know, have conversations with other members of my family without their permission.
Narcs get very upset when the flies in their web dare to talk to each other and exchange info, they want to be the ones controlling the flow of info at all times. It's the only way they can keep their lies and manipulations going. We can see this trait clearly in Jack from the amount of time she used to spend on Twitter in the replies, blocking, deleting, socking, pile on-ing and generally desperately seeking to control the flow of info to how she wanted it.
On the blue eyeshadow pic - I don't wear make up except for weddings and funerals but the younger moldwarpettes suggest to me that palettes of eyeshadow are expensive as feck, especially huge ones like that from a big brand name (which I presume Revolution is). How many people have the available cash to buy one from a train station (further mark up there) on a whim? We're talking like £40, surely?
On the fried egg pic, I surely have no patience with the way she goes to great lengths to pretend that half of her pics have been taken entirely unexpectedly and candidly by her obvs adoring legions of family/friends/carers, when it's quite clear to me that they're all selfies which she has spent some time preparing and making up for, before getting the lighting exactly right and adopting her horribly self-conscious "I'm a gorgeous pixie elf" expression.
Love to all you Fraus! I hope you all had an enjoyable, decent or at least bearable Xmas depending on individual circumstances at the time in question
The little ones with about two lines three lines in will set you back £30/£40
ETA: I mean they were that expensive during the time she was gleefully boasting. Thankfully, the price of eyeshadow palettes has come down a lot but places like Morphe and MAC really took advantage during the 2013-2018 eyeshadow “boom”
I am side-eyeing Urban Decay here.
Definitely cheaper than all this lipstick posted on Oct 27th
And the 25 more on top of that she just HAD to buy a month later
I’M SOOOOOO POOR! 
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Furiously reading to catch up so no idea where this will land but she is no celebrity, not even in her hometown. I was visiting what is also my home town of Southend on Sea over Christmas and spotted Jack, on her own, walking down the high street. She walked from top to bottom and not a single person acknowledged her.
If say, Jamie Oliver did the same I imagine a few people might at least do a double take as they walked past, but for Monroe there wasn't the slightest recognition. She was just another person in the crowd, a mere guest you could say
She's finished isn't she, the capacity for her to grift is over, and she knows it. The best she has to look forward to is anonymity, the worst is notoriety and the HMRC leaving their calling card. She has no family to fall back on either, she will be shunned by them, anything that sullies the name of the big chocolate has no place in the family so that bridge is burned.
Happy belated Christmas everyone, 2024 will be a good year, the fiction that is Jack Monroe will finally be over, the empress will e seen to have no clothes
If say, Jamie Oliver did the same I imagine a few people might at least do a double take as they walked past, but for Monroe there wasn't the slightest recognition. She was just another person in the crowd, a mere guest you could say
She's finished isn't she, the capacity for her to grift is over, and she knows it. The best she has to look forward to is anonymity, the worst is notoriety and the HMRC leaving their calling card. She has no family to fall back on either, she will be shunned by them, anything that sullies the name of the big chocolate has no place in the family so that bridge is burned.
Happy belated Christmas everyone, 2024 will be a good year, the fiction that is Jack Monroe will finally be over, the empress will e seen to have no clothes
Her hands look considerably cleaner when you dial down the excessive adjustments she makes on most of her photos. It’s on purpose I’m sure.
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The temptation to heckle her would’ve been strong. How did you manage?!
Anyone think that the publishers releasing Grifty Kitchen did it as a hatchet job, Shattenstone style? With the low sales and corrections it allowed them out the contract for the memoir.
123 days since her last Twitter post, now deleted.
210 days since the last remaining post.
718 days since the Velcro Badminton Index was announced.
123 days since her last Twitter post, now deleted.
210 days since the last remaining post.
718 days since the Velcro Badminton Index was announced.
I bet if you ordered one of these, it wouldn't come.
She is RIDICULOUS.Definitely cheaper than all this lipstick posted on Oct 27th
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And the 25 more on top of that she just HAD to buy a month later
View attachment 2654155Including this £17 one she didn’t even like. View attachment 2654181Oh and these 188 eyeshadows. LOLZView attachment 2654189LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF I BOUGHT!!!
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ETA she actually bought the exact palette @SleevelessSlopSlinger just posted back in July 2017 - it’s in the spoilered ss here. Spent £50 on it but didn’t know what to do with it tho so had to ask the plebs on the internet.View attachment 2654190Oooh that money for doing duck all is going ever so well…View attachment 2654165Oh and I also bought all of this tit that I’m posting online for claps and cheers (Not pictured: 137 pieces of cutlery)!!
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Btw Jack you have a short and thick waist so dresses like that do not suit you.
In Jack's mind, she has visions of this type of thing - you can just tell.
Somehow she never manages to quite pull it off.
560 days since her last (lying fantastist) bylines is
ETA and 6 months since she set her YouTube to private and deleted her Guardian BTL username/profile (but her comments live on!)
@Claret having had a front seat to the very start of this grift, glad you’re there seeing the end too.
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