Jack Monroe #541 First do no honk

[MooBelle]

It's nigh on impossible to shop in a way that finds all the best prices and beats the supermarkets -- a lot of their game is befuddling the consumer. So, prices may stay the same but packages shrink in size. Or they'll have a value range but the number of products available will vary or decrease, or they'll suddenly rebrand it so you can't find it anymore.

My mum was a very good household manager and she taught me a couple of things which stand me in good stead:
1. Anything that's on display at the end of the aisle or near the checkout are probably not good value. The store is literally flooding you with those products.
2. Always look at the products stocked either low or high on the shelf because everything that's at eye level is likely the one the shop wants you to buy.
3. Bulk buy if you can, but only if you will use the stuff before it's out of date and you have space for it.
4. Don't look at the price tag but the price by weight. Because that helps you figure out what's lowest price, even though the packages of different brands might also be different sizes.
Look for pasta, for eg, and Barilla will be £0.60/100g and Sainsbury's Own will be £0.40/100g.
It's hard work, initially, but you get used to it and it works both in the shop and online.

Your mum was a wise woman.
I worked in an Asda whilst at college and all of the above is spot on. Fwiw, the end of aisle is called a 'gondola' and never, ever buy anything on it.
I learned some stuff at my year and a bit at Asda, mostly it was shop at any other supermarket because Asda is just shit. Not good value and not good standard of products.
However, unlike Jack I didn't learn to fold towels in the non existent 'towel department ' and I never fingered cheap wet ham nor learned about curing meat on the deli.
I did have some good times, which Jack doesn't seem to have had. The fish counter got a delivery of crabs once and didn't realise they were live until they opened the box and the crabs made a bid for freedom.I can still hear the screams and the laughing. The Christmas party was amazing. The girls in the office were lovely and I loved sneaking off up to their office above the warehouse for a cheeky fag and a brew.
Jack never talks about memories like this. I'm guessing it was because no one liked her.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Identifying as a former s*x worker, of course. How did I miss Jack claiming that. Why not add another square to Oppressed Bingo. Jack is probably torn between using this as evidence of being poor whilst needing to balance the pro-s*x work narrative that is a big feature of the politics with which she aligns herself. “So poor I needed to be a wh*re, but that was my empowering choice” is where she must land.

She’s claimed it a number of times in various articles, tweets etc often about someone threatening to “out her as a former SW”, or when she’s ramping up the histrionics and fictions about her TERRIBLE POVERTY, or sometimes just because she’s a ridiculous attention seeking twat, like she did on Twitter last year when she said she “knows what a brother smells like because she used to work in one”.

Also (according to her) she was forced into “prostitution” twice, the first was before she was pregnant/ her son was born, (so pre 2010 and presumably before she started earning “FORTY GRAND A YEAR, MATE” working 3 jobs from age 19) and the second was when in 2019 she claimed that 2013 was a time of “prostitution and stealing food to survive” (this despite her having a full time job as a junior reporter on her local paper from February 2013, followed by a book deal with a £25k advance, a number of awards, a Guardian column etc etc). Like her “alcoholism” and myriad other things, she fetishizes sex work in a deeply uncomfortable and offensive way.

(Credit to @Marmalade Atkins and lovely @Sideboard Bob for the screenies). There’s evidence of all the above and yet more deeply offensive SW nonsense from her posted in a number of places in these threads.

Spoiler: TW

And the time before she was pregnant. Jack has confirmed she is “Sam”

That language seems awfully familiar though, and not from “Lynn” either…

She is fucking VILE and there is nothing she will not claim as an identity or weaponize for money and attention.

 

[whatisityoucan'tface]

View attachment 2436358
“my butchest biker jacket”. Fuck off, you lying fantasist.
View attachment 2436371View attachment 2436372View attachment 2436374View attachment 2436373View attachment 2436375View attachment 2436376View attachment 2436377
“I took it off and never wore it again”. Except for all the times when I actually did wear it again and had my actual fucking picture taken while wearing it again. View attachment 2436405View attachment 2436384Clothes make her “look like a lesbian”, my fucking arse. She gives me the absolute rage.
View attachment 2436388View attachment 2436389
“Pile of utter wank” (Pretty Woman: Throw Leggy under the bus edition) from @PineappleQueen19 for those who’ve never seen it

Jack Monroe #8 Grates meats, deletes tweets and when she denies it we've got the receipts.

Hey Lolly, it was Ruby Tandoh back at the start of last week: I hope jack gets a good telling off for this. I know she didn't write but she needs a word with her followers. I hope the show runners tell her to tell her followers to zip it or she's out the door. She moans about people on...

tattle.life

I've just noticed, it is highly entertaining to read the Lynn part in the voice of Lynn from Alan Partridge.

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

So how povvo was she claiming to be at this point because one OU degree seemed expensive to me when I looked the other day, never mind two at once. Most ordinary people likely aren’t going to easily afford it.

I started an OU degree in 2004, as a single parent. At the time, and now as well I think, course fees were paid if you were on benefits. Jack was not on benefits at the time, so would have had to pay the course fees. The OU is cheaper than bricks and mortar unis, but still in the thousands per course.

The OU don't discriminate against people who have been failed by the system, so you don't need A-Levels or even GCSE's to take a degree with them, but if you've been out of education for a while, or if you need to touch up your studying skills, or if you've only got 4 and a half GCSEs, it is very much recommended that you start with the courses that are equivalent to access level. There's absolutely no way she would have been able to take 2 consecutive degrees without paying the course fees for both of them. Also, OU degrees work on a points system - you earn 30, 60, 90, or 120 points per course towards your degree. You can take a break and "save" your points if you need to, but after a few years they drop off, and you would have to start again.

Anyway - she's never mentioned it again, so we know she's chatting shit.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Did everyone hear that?

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Love this for her

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Guest will the lift the wiki from here for her me-moir.
This will be the front cover.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I know we don't know what she's got squirrelled away in 1 of the accounts she doesn't screenshot aswell but somethings gone very wrong with her forever home plans so I don't think it'd be enough for a cash buy. Could deffo be enough for a fat deposit though. It just seemed like HH2 was for something in particular in a panic with all its extreme detail.

I suspect there are a couple of things going on. There’s no way in the world she’d have let the anniversary (and the ten year anniversary at that) of Hunger Hurts pass by without an anniversary post really ramping up the histrionics last year. She’d already done anniversary posts in a number of other years that had started to become increasingly lurid, lie strewn and exaggerated (see: You don’t batch cook when you’re suicidal, 2020). HH2 isn’t really much of a step up from that grift and lying-wise, other than it being so melodramatic it’s basically nonsensical.

I think she was seriously grifting for a house last year. There was Teemill, the Nigella bump, three lurid lengthy blog posts about her weary bones that were blatant tin rattles,

Then came Sue Lee, “practice mortgage appointments” and then this

I think she fully believed Harold was her key to that house, FFS she breadcrumbed it and weddings incessantly. HH 2022 was also a giant desperate beg because he’d become wise to how fucking dreadful she actually is and pissed off, dashing her plans of getting knocked up/married/a house bought for her.

Then there’s the double FOREVER HOME grift in the front and back of Grifty Kitchen and all the other times she rattled the tin about her extortionate rent and desire for a forever home. She went on and on (and on and on) about mortgages and forever homes last year. What she actually spunked all that cash on and how much is left is a mystery, but I think that’s why she was grifting it all.

I’d forgotten about this thread title

 

[MurielSnark]

She actually has, at least once. When Ma and Pa redid their vows. View attachment 2437278
Reposting: So in her own words- she sulked and acted like a spoiled twat all the way through her parents’ vow renewal (and no doubt had multiple histrionics in the lead up to it)View attachment 2437279
and sulked and acted like a spoiled twat and no doubt had histrionics multiple times in the run up to her brother’s wedding.

Oh, and then behaved like a petulant, smug insufferable cunt during and after her brother’s wedding about how she was “right all along”.

It’s ok though because as always, these special occasions are ALL ABOUT HER.

It takes a special kind of arsehole to shave your own head knowing that your parents' vow renewal shindig is coming up and there will be photos.

 

[Bugger13]

There are a few screenshots here of the apparent sock. Whoever it is (& I would put money on it being Jack), it’s vile. Taking the piss out of one of her critics who has crohns disease with plenty of ‘arse’ jibes & mocking people’s appearance.

 

[phoebuscartel]

There is more chance of me growing a tail than there is of a friend writing that for her. She 100% wrote that herself.
for a start, she doesn’t have any friends.

I mean she obviously wrote it herself but it’s fun to think of the person she asked to write it thoughtfully loading it with red flags and even successfully inhabiting her horrible writing style.

 

[Nonah]

This just popped on my Insta if anyone’s in the market for a new profile pic

 

[Foxvint]

One of the worst things for me about it is that she won’t take advice or direction and she smugly thinks she is the best chef in the world. If she came out and said “hey, I’m no pro but here’s a recipe I came up with and I thought it was nice and it’s also cheap to make so I’m sharing it” I would have a shred of respect for her. It’s the Billy big bollocks attitude that gets me. She’s been there, done everything and is an expert in anything she’s tried her hand at merely once.

And never a generous word for anyone in her supposed field. She never even gave kudos to Nigella until and unless Nigella mentioned her. Nasty and bitter about That Man. The not so subtle implication with her outburst about him was that it was a man stealing a womans work as if Jamie hasn't had a career pre dating hers, his own show and books that actually get used. I'm indifferent to him myself but he seems like a hard grafter who knows his stuff. That 15 minute meals book was everywhere, it was like every house had a copy. I don't enjoy cooking but I love Nigel Slaters books, the sheer joy he gets from food jumps off the page and you're never going to get that with her penny pinching stripped down 17p per portion workhouse fare. As a niche its pretty dead end even if her recipies worked. She's utterly redundant in cookery since the flop of grifty kitchen.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

And yet . . . . . . . . . . . as far as we are aware she has NEVER EVEN BEEN A BRIDESMAID!

just sayin' . . . . . . . . . . . .

She actually has, at least once. When Ma and Pa redid their vows.

Reposting: So in her own words- she sulked and acted like a spoiled twat all the way through her parents’ vow renewal (and no doubt had multiple histrionics in the lead up to it)

and sulked and acted like a spoiled twat and no doubt had histrionics multiple times in the run up to her brother’s wedding.

Oh, and then behaved like a petulant, smug insufferable cunt during and after her brother’s wedding about how she was “right all along”.

It’s ok though because as always, these special occasions are ALL ABOUT HER.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

A very useful tool, thanks.

Also: always shop with a list (not a stupid quarterhack nonsense) and never shop for food on an empty stomach.

Never shop pre-menstrually or you'll end up with a trolley full of carbs and have to go back for actual dinner ingredients.

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

A thumb ring? A fucking thumb ring? This is one of the things she considers edgy. She’s always just been a middle-aged, Tory, MC, boring fart trapped in a younger body, hasn’t she? She just googles ‘what do lesbians look like’ or some such shit and copies that. A thumb ring. I….I just can’t

Please remember dear tenderstem that poor people do not possess thumbs

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

On Buddy Oliver, I think it’s often difficult to work out what is nepotism and what is talent likely inherited from a parent with skills there. I know he built his YouTube following but he had an undeniable massive advantage over a “regular” boy of his age doing so. That said, he is very personable and clearly good at what he does and I hope he does well.

As for Jack, I think it’s unfair to speculate that she isn’t even bi - she’s had enough relationships with both sexes that I think that’s a perfectly fair label for her, there’s clearly attraction to women there. But she certainly carries a whole lot of internalised or other homophobia along with an attitude as if she’s been raised in the 50’s… whether that’s all her or whether it’s how she was raised who knows. But that combined with her love of jumping on every single bandwagon makes for quite a toxic little goblin who is like poison to every identity she tries to steal.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I hate to rain on the I’m a Celeb parade, despite my wish to see her crying munching on kangaroo anuses, but I think the chances of guset being there are slim to none. She has documented her mental health struggles so extensively and in such vivid detail that I think their lawyers would just kibosh it even if any of the bookers had any idea who she is. Reality shows are much much more careful than they used to be about participants’ MH than they used to be for obvious reasons.

 

[cokeyoakey]

'I thought beurre blanc was for other people', she sobbed.

God just reading that has moved me to tears. The injustice in the world.

Thankyou for all you do, Saint Jack [exit stage left,wiping away tears].

Please can we consider 'I thought beurre blanc was for other people' for a thread title? TYFATYD.

 

[Nonah]

Frauen, I have the ´rona and am quite poorly and trying to grunk this thread feels like a fever dream.