I somehow missed this, I went back and Iād managed to miss a couple of pages out! Fantastic work.Superb, tenderstem!
Thank(space) you for all you do.
Jack Monroe #540 Meet the new Jack, same as the old Jack.
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If her fancy grammar school didn't want her because she didn't do the work, surely she could have enrolled in the local college or comprehensive and do them as crash courses.
I was kind of like Jack at that age and didn't apply myself at school and only got 4 of the 8 o-grades I was expected to get
. I got the main ones because I was quite clever anyway and a couple of years later, realised I had been an arse and would be stuck in a crappy job forever, so beg-borrowed the money from my folks and did a 2-year night school course, followed by another one a few years down the line when I could afford to fund it myself. That was 30 years ago and I'm still regularly upping my qualifications as part of my professional development. Jack would've been better off using her book advances to educate herself instead of frittering it away on sideboards and Viv (RIP) clothes that will never suit her.
We speak of little else in Gateshead.
Since the Jacktionary has been mentioned I thought you might like to know I've just added twenty new words (a big Thankyou x to the peripatetic frau who added a few things as well). It's now on page six of the wiki as it is now a stenching, statuesque and smutty behemoth that has outgrown all its former homes. It's almost moved as many times as guest.
She always looks so fecking predatory . . .
Like a teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy, smol li'l pixie Great White Shark.
Do they involve her friendly bodyguard that she facetuned to look like a tattie?
Does anybody, beyond us obvs, have credibility any longer? Serious question.
Meanwhile, wasted 30mins on the site of the mothers earlier, mainly laughing at just how far guset has fallen. (Round the ankles now, isn't she?!)
That's unfair Mavis.
Her pesto salad bag remnants recipe has no UPF in it.
I mean it's full of bleeping botulism and probably rabies but definitely no UPF.
Ooh, I just had a thought about her new character invention that Adrian may or may not be doing. Hear me out lads...
You know botox is basically botulism? Maybe she's cultivating her own botox from the botulism pesto? Maybe she's gone into partnership with Vie Aesthetics? Maybe she's doing an organic range of fillers?
We can only wait.
There was an article in the Guardian this week about people with big Le Creuset collections. Disappointed not to see le gueset in it, maybe sheās finally figured out that flashing her many possessions doesnāt really help her case in pleading poverty?
That looks vile, like if Jack made nachos. What's wrong with a splash of milk and 3 tablespoons of sugar as a cornflake accompaniment?
Does she not have any dead pets you could have put a picture of on top? Sheād have loved that x
Hint on the thread title of the mithering mothers please?
Just read this in the introduction to the fabulous Modern Italian Cook by Joe Trivelli. How dare he? Doesnāt he know that going to Italy 3x with a chef who used to work at RC is the superior and indeed the ONLY way you can be qualified to make a risotto. Indeed, I started shitting baguettes when we had a French exchange student staying with us when I was a young middle-aged woman!
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Fun fact...
Delicious Ella has a form of necrosis that I also have, although I didn't develop mine into a multi million pound business.
Mine is caused by a side effect of a certain medication I take. Ella does not take this medication as far as I am aware.
Other causes of this type of necrosis is taking too many chemicals in a recreational sense.
Similarly Jack claims to have had 'multiple heart attacks ' which has been proven many times to be just untrue.
What is more likely is her heart went 'tacky' as she had a tachycardia incident. Basically it means your heart beats too fast and irregular. Mine goes tacky because I have a heart condition. Also could be caused by someone taking a Class A substance.
When I worked in a bar
, we had one (non PC term) bag lady - a brilliant, incredibly hilarious and witty young lady, originally from Salford, who occasionally got scrubbed up, cleaned up, found a place to live and got work. She would then lose the plot, become homeless, and get barred again for spending all her wages on booze, losing her job and being a twit, including drinking people's drinks, (whether they had left or not!) before starting the cycle of being barred, homeless, skint, then getting work, a flat etc again. Exhausting cycle that requires incredible determination to keep starting all over after you have fallen off the wagon. Anyway, when she was on the way back up, but waiting for her first or second wage packet, she'd come in and say, "Do a Jesus, our lass, glass of water n mek it red." I always let her have that one on my wages, hoping against hope that this time she'd find her way out of alcoholism. When sober, she was one of the hardest grafters I've ever met.
No idea if she did get clean for good, as I left (the bar) , but always hope she managed to keep trying and live a long and sober(ish) life. Terrible disease.
And Jack Monroe has no bleeping idea what that is like, has never seen anybody go through it first-hand and most definitely NEVER experienced it herself. Liar, Monroe. You. Are. A. Mendacious. bleep.
OMG you're so right... she looks like the big bad wolf dressed as grandma's face... it's OK you can trust me I'm not a psychopath about to eat you for dinner little red riding hoodShe always looks so fecking predatory . . .
Like a teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy, smol li'l pixie Great White Shark.
OMG the other week my sister said sheād been at a party with OJ
and my response was āwhy was little owen jones there?ā And then had to try and explain why I called him little owen jones. I donāt think my explanation that it was from a joke about him possibly being a murderer on a Jack Monroe gossip thread helped make it any clearer really."You can trust me . . . I'm a doctor
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