Jack Monroe #524 Not the only or most important voice and presence in this critical area of our life

[SoftlyGentlyHooting]

Hello kindly Frauen & Herren

Long time grunker, first time poster, please be gentle with me. I solemnly swear that I am not Jack, from my understanding or recollection, as I've never in my life happened upon luxury goods in various puddles.

I was reading through this latest thread and had my aneurysm, as the locals say, when someone mentioned Guest's "craft" "business". I said to myself, I said, "if she's on about that time she spent hours arsing about with that fucking tin, a hammer and nails go make a fucking tea light holder when she coild have been using that time to, oh, I dunno send out a few fucking postcards..".

I was relieved go hear it's thought she was actually talking about that "dress" she "made". Until I saw it. FFS, Guest.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

ETA dead at the "craft" business being called Bread and Jam. You stupid cunt, guest. Send crocheted coffinos

Would you accept a DEECEASED dress instead?

---
Bread and Jam Crafts: The full saga

Spoiler

December 4 2012: What is that silly Jack up to?! Well, she’s only gone and ACCIDENTALLY PLUGGED her personal craft business in her newspaper column!

How on earth could that have happened?! Sigh! TECHNOLOGY!

(And cufflinks)

Cufflinks, Cross Stitch and Cushions

There's nothing quite like accidentally plugging the wrong thing in your weekly newspaper column! So for those of you looking for Cufflinks, cross stitch and cushions, please see Bread And Jam - my...

web.archive.org

December 9 2012: Jack has been launching Bread and Jam (the business that TECHNOLOGY made her “accidentally plug” in her newspaper column). All profits go to local community organizations!

She’s also making sandwiches for the homeless (which she’ll be doing twice a month!) and soliciting input from other organizations Bread and Jam will help.

Bread And Jam: Making Sandwiches For The Homeless

So what have I been up to this weekend? Well mostly launching Bread And Jam, my self-employed venture that reuses, recycles, re-loves and hand makes homeware and small gifts etc, with the profits g...

web.archive.org

Needless to say, neither sandwiches nor “donating the profits” are ever mentioned again. In fact, by the time the Sunday Mirror come calling mere weeks later (published 23 December), “Hardworking and honest”

single mother “Jackie Monroe” is in DIRE POVERTY eking a living out of her £250 a month craft business earnings.

Living in poverty: Young mum has just £10 a week for food

No heating and no Christmas tree as mother strives to feed herself and her son

www.mirror.co.uk

December 29 2012: Just six days later, Jack puts her sewing down for the night to tell us all that thanks to her bunting-making…

THE POVERTY is OVER!

2012: Tears, And Fears And Feeling Proud…

As the year draws to a close, and I’ve put my sewing down for the night, I find myself reflecting on 2012. 2012 is the year I refer to as my annus horribilis; after leaving a well paid job an...

web.archive.org

NYE 2012: A mere two days later and she’s already contradicting her “Bread and Jam will go into a few local shops” because she’s only in discussions about it.

Oh, and she won’t be setting it up properly (even though she’s “in the process”), because she can coin in the cash through FB and direct into her PayPal instead.

Bread And Jam

Just a quick note about my business, Bread And Jam. People ask me what I ‘do’, and it’s here. I hand make Cufflinks, cushions, cross stitch pictures, my own photography, children&...

web.archive.org

Jan 1 2013: in her newspaper column Jack makes a New Year’s resolution to make a proper business plan for Bread and Jam. Oh, and plugs her business in the paper again.

New Years Resolutions: Echo & Gazette Column 1st Jan 2013

New Years Resolutions. You probably made some yesterday, or know someone who did. It's an odd time of year; one for change and reflection for many, where promises to diet are made and probably brok...

web.archive.org

and that, my friends, is pretty much it for Bread and Jam. Thanks to the Sunday Mirror article, Woman’s Own also soon come calling and after that, Jack boasts to Xanthe Clay about her book token

and realizes she can make a far more lucrative business out of lying about being in THE POVERTY. https://cookingonabootstrap.com/201...rl-called-jack-the-telegraph-2nd-march/?amp=1
And the rest, as they say, is history. (Oh, and as you see above, she already had the shameless self promotion, fast and loose way of coining in business cash and lying/claiming to “do good” all down pat already).

Lol and as an aside, in another act of shameless self promotion, she immediately added “the newspaper” calling her “hard-working and honest” to the masthead of her blog

Except cos she’s a useless fuckwit, she got it backwards.

 

[MooBelle]

Oh my god. I advise my fellow n00bs to follow that link, the archived tweets about Frank Burnside and Rachel Dolezal are fried fucking gold. Look at her crowing about spotting someone else's shooping as if they were trying to hide it rather than it being the whole point! Look at her pretending that she would never shop her own face! Fucking look at her pretending she wouldn't wear a tacky blouse! Oh my god

I thought I'd experienced maximum cringe in the past, but oh how wrong I was. There are so many more levels.

edited to attach screenshots

I am loving this. Watching all the newbies discover blasts from the past is like watching children open their presents on Christmas morning.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

On this day...

2020
Jack was on her massive David Walliams rant.
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Jack isn't seen as sexy.
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2021
No tweets. Jack was in rehab and thread #196 spanned 11 days

2022
Jack had a partnership with Superdrug while condoning shoplifting.
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Someone snitch-tagged Superdrug and Jack replied:
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And she barely worked again.

 

[DianeAbbotsMojito]

Mithering back to suspicion of newbies - I knew how to post a gif/quote when I first signed up here. I've been posting in various forums since about 2002, it's really easy to work out how to use the functions, it's hardly cracking the Enigma code.

 

[moldwarp]

View attachment 2286168View attachment 2286170I’m just impressed that in December 2012 her Nokia E72 had Excel spreadsheets on it. You know, cos she’d sold/pawned her computer (again, depending on which version of this story she’s telling) and that phone is all she had.

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Jeez she really has to centre herself in everything doesn't she. Even a piece of good news has to become melodrama. Can you imagine that poor foodbank volunteer. "Yes I've seen the refugee family come in the door, I know they've lost everything and they need help. Just as soon as I've finished comforting Jack, who's inconsolable because she's just signed a lucrative book deal."

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Is she just going to hide until she thinks everyone has forgotten about the Sue Lee money?

Someone must have told her if she keeps her head down the internet gossips will get bored and eventually disband. Quite the opposite! We are stronger in number and can go over old ground indefinitely. Her life is such a rich tapestry of cringe.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Just watched Boulevard for the first time in it's entirety. I give it 8/10 on the cringeometer. Just below comic-protected tomatoes sticking to a chopping board. Dangerous poetry is too dangerous, even for me, a Jack-completist.

Dangerous poetry is truly excruciating right from the off, even by guest’s risible standards. As you can see, I had to mute it to get the screenshot of her SLEEVE PENZ.

That said, mind you- she properly gets into the second poem, and just like the moment when she rises from the shower wall (and accidentally goes slightly off camera) to really honk out “haaaaaaaaard on Saturday night” in BOULEVAAAAAAARD, guest at full DANGEROUS poetry pelt is quite the thing to behold.

Truly, I’ve never, ever known anyone so enamored with their own mediocrity and lack of talent. It’s utterly staggering.

 

[RandomFishOils]

Ah, Jack’s boogly eyed skeleton and wonky bummed nekkid lady tattoo, inspired by a very meaningful sketch she’s “obsessed with”…
View attachment 2287890
@The carlin identified the “sketch” inspiration. Basically Jack wanted

Spoiler: THIS

View attachment 2287891and ended up with THIS.
View attachment 2287892That tattooist must have absolutely fucking hated her.

Jack Monroe #467 Tragedies that seem to befall her, you’d think her life was written by Lemony Snicket

She really is an utter disgrace SB just gets pontins while the Dyson automatic goes here there and everywhere. But after her amateur dramatics the other night maybe him not going away with her is for the best. The way Jack gets around, she's a Roomba.

tattle.life

 

[Toffee finger]

For new people - I re read thread 31 a while ago and cringed myself inside out at how I tried to be kind in my responses to her. I mentioned it here at the time of re reading that I’d have a different response after so many threads but want to clarify again that I find her an insufferable grifting lying animal abusing complete and utter arsehole. If you read my responses on 31 imagine them much less friendly

 

[Terrible]

@Awfully Molly welcome! I’m pleased to hear from you, and congratulations! I think you did a splendid exposee, and remember sitting in a pub having Sunday lunch frantically trying to read it all muttering ohmygodohmygodohmygod at it all. Best day ever. I too wish it could be out in the open again (without the adverts please, though I’m pleased it made you a leetle bit of money).

Now spill!

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I can still remember what I was wearing, and what I had for lunch, during the unfolding of thread 31.

 

[Tabitha D]

Speaking of which, we're two days into the second half of the year - so perhaps guest should give us a progress update on her goals for 2023:

(from @Valiofthedolls on thread 447)

Funny that this list of resolutions doesn’t say anything about fulfilling her Patreon promises, delivering the promised VBI, or making amends to the people she’s ripped off.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Currently on here you could pretend to be lee Anderson and people will buy it.
The back story is easy to look up, you'll need no proof and still get in
Eta; I'm suspicious on the internet always , people should be , soz tho if I'm being a grump about molly

I’m with you on being suspicious about people, like you say, anyone could be anyone.

But in this case @Awfully Molly I do believe you are who you say you are.
It’s not just the “back story” the way of writing is the same.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

She cannot cook. She cannot write. She cannot parent. She cannot hold down a job. She cannot form friendships. She cannot maintain relationships. She cannot manage her finances. She is void. The complete absence of positive qualiities and discernible skils. VOID.

 

[lilykestrel]

I regret to inform the canal that after seeing the fanmail beg I have cringed myself into a parallel dimension

Good god woman

 

[moldwarp]

Jay Rayner could be a bit of a fanny BTL. Which I may or may not have been subjected to

I personally think Jay Rayner has a bit of Jackness around the edges. Seems quite thin skinned and up himself. I once happened to be standing behind him whilst he was having a fag break at an event I was working at and he was a guest. He was chatting with a friend. My twat radar began clanging.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I'd like to take this opportunity to implore all of our new frauleins to read Thread 31. A real insight into the mind of guest.

I’ve been here for like 18 months and still can’t bring myself to read the fabled Thread 31. Too much cringe will have me in the circus as the famous inside out woman.

 

[Nurseali]

Just leaving this here for molly , I'll admit I'm wrong if you show any tea

She has spilled tea , hot enough for me and I am from Yorkshire

 

[Five hundred dogs]

i assume her principles don’t run to worrying about working with companies accused of crimes against humanity