Jack Monroe #524 Not the only or most important voice and presence in this critical area of our life

[Sideboard Bob]

Erm I know we’re mid chaos and this isn’t the time but what’s a shithouse onion? I whenever I see it and I don’t even know why

I think it originated here 🧅

Jack Monroe #399 Catastrophically embarrassing

Ahhh the contradictions of the house mate who is there, despite not being allowed lodgers but seemingly doesn’t contribute to the rent otherwise we wouldn’t be having the hecking downsize…all in the shitty bungalow that has enough bedrooms for Jack, lodger and SB yet the hecking decluttering has...

tattle.life

 

[moldwarp]

I can be a bit domestically challenged sometimes but that makes me shudder. Why would you share that?

So she can be strengthened and encouraged by the worshipful offerings of the many fans whose lives she has saved, of course. The bigger question is why she thought that tupperware full of equine ordure was a good choice of foreground.
---

I've posted this tiny clip of intense irritation before but figured the new Fraus might not have seen it.


The twat can't cook. Everything is performance. She crooks her elbow right up in the air as you would if you were stirring the contents of a deep pot but then performatively tosses the same cooking vessel about as you would if you were toasting seeds in a shallow pan. She just things to try and look cheffy but she fails if you know anything about cooking.

Same with this one here where she tries to look like she knows how to sharpen a knife but is fucking ruining them



Whaddacunt.

The phrase ' My oddball child insisted on 'taking a film of you Mama'. ' is making me angrier than it probably should. Poor, poor SB.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Any newbies not aware the watch button at the top is helpful to keep track of threads you like.

Yes, thank(space)you. I hate reading 'just taking a seat!'or 'just parking!'
comments for the first two pages of a new thread.

Also, about the alleged Emin, she said the story was a wild ride but all it was was her cooking something then her friend gave her a drawing?

That was neither wild nor a ride, Jack 'Training Wheels' Munroe.

Add that to the list.

ETA

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

WAIT!?! SHE WAS SELLING THAT DRESS?

I'd always assumed it was something she'd made for herself on a lark like the tincancandles.

(As I've said before, I'm all for people making the shittiest crafts as that is how one learns and improves (I create some monstrosities) but to sell it????)

I mean, I'm pretty sure it never actually sold. In fact, I'd put money on her never even finishing it.

"Crafty" Jack is one of my (many, many) aneurisms. And totally shows her up for the arrogant egotist that she is. I've been sewing for over 30 years, and have produced a few really well-made pieces in that time. I would love to do it for a living, but I'm fully aware that I'm not consistently good enough, because it's a hobby that I fit around work and family, and it takes a huge amount of time and commitment to become proficient in creative/practical crafts. She's always been convinced that she can just turn her hand to anything, and automatically be the best ever at it. And I do think that's a result of her very middle class upbringing.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

From when she was OWNING that dude who wrote the rude letter to the NEWSPAPER about her…

Spoiler: 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

 

[Valiofthedolls]

No bloody way I'd stay at that guest house.

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Especially not with her filthy fingers everywhere they shouldn’t be.

Just as well really, because if guest’s unsanitary habits didn’t kill you, you might end up falling through your bedroom floor and ending up in the cellar.

By not going, you’d have to be ok with missing out on “Southend Kindness and Southend Hospitality” though.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Someone should repost the landslide video to truly initiate the new Fraus. I would but I SHANT because it is terrible and I can’t risk it popping up in my YouTube suggested videos. Now fuck off xx

Landslide has LEFT as she’s locked down her YouTube but we still have BOULEVAAAAAAARD

Post-laryngitis Tom Waits sesh

https://twitter.com/BootstrapCook/status/1570778124102557696

tattle.life

And guest’s DANGEROUS POETRY (and excruciating “OH FUCK OFF I AM SHY AND RETIRING” introduction/sleeve of penz)

And one-handed piano thumping courtesy of @VeniVidiVicki

Jack Monroe #515 Socialist in the streets, capitalist in the balance sheets

Between the busking episode and Boulevard it is hard to comprehend how she hasn't been signed to a record label. She probably has. She just hasn't mentioned it yet 🙄

tattle.life

 

[moldwarp]

I think of her as some kind of non newtonian pov. Looks like a pov on the surface but when pressed solid middle class tory

She doesn't even 'look like a pov' on the surface. She is middle class coded. That's why her shtick has never felt 'right' to so many of us on this thread. WC people and MC people present differently, speak differently, think and behave differently. Not differently enough to overcome our common humanity and the line is very porous but certainly differently enough that we can see it.

Jack's a MC, centre right, pro establishment ex-ballet former sunday school teacher who thinks that tattoos and traaaaazers are evidence of some kind of edge.

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Jay Rayner could be a bit of a fanny BTL. Which I may or may not have been subjected to

Babe, same! I posted something critical (but in a friendly tone) about him always bashing vegans. He came for me BTL and the CiF club lapped it up. I've been extremely cautious about posting anywhere but here since.
Many years later Jay wrote in his column that he has changed his stance etc. I read it as a personal apology to me, but rejected it, because I hold a grudge.

[Insert gif: Ariana "I reject that"]

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Why did I read that to the tune of Born Slippy?

Born Sloppy

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I seem to remember radiator dried mushrooms bring a thing. They'd have to go in. Worst summoning smell spell ever

Slimy on the turn yellow stickerered radiator dried mushrooms, no less.

Spoiler: And oils and vinegars. WARNED.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

I’ve never actually got through thread 31 cos it’s way too cringe and I couldn’t get past guest talking about her own “sad little face”. However, I’ve been determinedly and relentlessly working my way through and so am back from the past to say LOL this one from hasn’t aged well has it? Given recent doxing courtesy of le Guest. View attachment 2285007


Secondly. Did she filter her phase on the photo to tattle. Double lol!
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I cannot be expected to remember everyone I have doxxed. ‍

 

[DianeAbbotsMojito]

I'm sorry but her schnozz in this photo always cracks me up. She looks like Steve Martin in Roxanne.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Guest doesn't have an Emin and here's why.

Jerry Hall is shrewd.

Jerry Hall is an art collector.

She sold a bunch of artwork back in 2010, but it was the really spendy pieces: 600k plus. She kept a lot of things.

Tracey Emin is a personal friend of Jerry Hall.

Jerry Hall isn't going to gift artwork by her friend to a friend, who would then give it to a friend, who would then give it to guest to put in her toilet.

It's bullshit. Or should I say, she's lying.

THE END

 

[corneliahosendove]

Re the Emin I think it was mentioned on here eons ago that it is the 2012 olympic print? Edition of 1000, assuming given as freebies to sponsors etc. I know someone works in art media type job who has one. It's very nice. They go for £750 ish now so would only cover 1.5 ccj debts, she may as well keep it in the bogger.
Also that story was barely even a story never mind a 'ride' FFS

 

[RandomFishOils]

Kind of like those "skeletons in jars" displays you get at natural history museums, only without the cool, Goth-y vibe.

Remember this one. The one with pictures of herself all over the walls so she could gaze admiringly at her own image while she stirred her latest abomination. Oh, and a single one of SB just down the side - with herself, of course.

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

The bungamansion must absolutely honk. Between the general grubbiness that we’ve all witnessed over the years, the slimy mushrooms, and the oils and vinegars from fish and other stuff. And that’s before we get to the triple slow cooker with all manner of horror slowly chuntering away

I’ll never get over when her then-OH’s father got out the vacuum cleaner in the bungamansion. I would have cringed myself inside out in mortification and shame if anyone visiting my house felt they needed to clean.

 

[lilykestrel]

Looking at Leggy's kitchen evokes a sensation of when you pick up an old worse-for-wear roasting tin out the back of a cupboard, that wasn't quite washed up properly last time it was used, and it's got that slight greasy texture to it

 

[definitelynotvlad]

Not sure this is important, but I've never made a gif.

Also, sorry to everyone who is sick of seeing the old tweets. I don't know why I keep posting them.

Please don’t stop posting them! It’s great to remember how awful guest is in the absence of any new awfulness. Do you have a PO Box I could send a letter to giving you praise? You can keep it to read in hard times x

 

[Veronicaaa]

Her earliest blog posts, Echo columns and letters to the editor are still utterly mindblowing to me. She’s such an arrogant, delusional, deeply unpleasant tosser with a nasty tory middle englander mentality that is years and years beyond her actual age. I mean, her dream job at twenty fucking four years old (for which she wasn’t qualified) was Macebearer to the fucking mayoralty FFS
View attachment 2285995
(For the uninitiated amongst us, of which I was one and had to look it up!)
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Spoiler: SS of full post

Thanks to @Mel Donte for capturing this “ten thousand fictional justifications why I can’t drive”
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It's the complaining that she'd "suddenly be{..} badgered for lifts" to, two paragraphs later, admitting to the fact that she herself relies on "cadged lifts", for me. Daft little hypocrite, it sums her up completely. Willing to take but not to give.