Hi all. I don’t want to hijack things, and sorry this is off-topic, but I hoped I could say hello. I wanted to provide some proof that I really was ‘Awfully Molly’ but I’ve deleted absolutely everything that was ever related to my Twitter, Medium account and website, so I don’t think I can. I don’t think I’m at all interesting enough for someone to impersonate, but I fully understand if you don’t feel you can trust me. Hell, even if you do believe I’m Molly you might not feel I’m trustworthy, and I can respect that.
I was a long-time Tattle lurker, though never a member. I did stop reading here for quite a while after things kicked off with Molly on Twitter - it was fun to read the initial reaction, but once the criticism began (a lot of it fair, some maybe not) I needed to step away. You had the right to comment on what I was putting out in the public domain of course, I’d be a massive hypocrite to suggest otherwise!
What’s interesting looking back is how upset or indignant I’d feel when someone called me a liar, when I knew that I actually was one. I do wonder if that’s what it’s like for Jack et al., I’d read ‘it’s bs that English isn’t her first language, clearly it is’ and be furious about it - even though it was true! If you can justify your lies/actions to yourself, it’s quite easy to turn anyone calling you out on it into a villain.
I do regret lying - particularly the English as a second language one, that was an angry and petulant response to one of Jack’s fans calling me a terrible writer. The immigration stuff felt like less of a lie, because it was, to my mind, close enough to the truth - I was born in the UK but my parents weren’t, and I spent large chunks of my childhood living elsewhere. There was nothing more sinister to it than trying to throw people off from my actual identity, but there were better red herrings to choose, and I think comments that I enjoyed playing a character too much are probably fair. I did confess without being caught out, because it felt wrong to keep lying when people were confiding in me and trusting me. There were some really interesting and fun people I got to engage with, it was the best part of the whole thing.
Other regrets include giving a quote to the Mail Online. Eurgh. They completely butchered that article too, which was probably the comeuppance I deserved. I got excited that someone was finally listening. I know I’ve come in for some criticism regarding promoting other fundraisers. I’m not sure about this, because I was never anti crowdfunding, I just called for transparency. The cat one was maybe daft and impulsive - I have no idea what happened in the end with that. All I can say is that I really like cats! For the other one, it was someone who had always been kind and supportive from day 1, and I felt that they had provided a lot of evidence that the situation as they described it was accurate. I wanted to help, and I genuinely believed them. As far as I’m aware there’s been nothing to suggest I was wrong, but I’ve largely kept away from Twitter, and particularly the Jack corner of it, since deactivating the AM account.
I know I went a bit loopy at the end. It got really frightening in the last few weeks - it’s all I thought about. I was getting bizarre messages all over the place, people were claiming to know who I was and sent me photos of a child insisting it was mine and proof they knew me (it wasn’t). I felt scared for myself and also like I was putting others at risk. They were probably just trolls enjoying winding me up, but it felt really sinister to be in the middle of it. I had messages from people saying that 4Chan were looking into me and were going to destroy me. I think my boyfriend (fiancé, now!) would have left me if I hadn’t stepped away, and I don’t blame him. I wasn’t easy to be around. It was the right choice, and life is good now. I know I was a relatively small account so this all sounds like I just have an ego problem, but it really is hard to have perspective when you’re in the midst of things.
The other thing that was hard to manage was the number of people hurt by Jack who seemed quite vulnerable. I’d get messages from people giving me their phone numbers asking to chat, or telling me truly heartbreaking stories. I tried to listen and empathise but I felt very out of my depth. This escalated when I said I was looking into Jess Taylor too. It felt like too much responsibility and I was terrified of doing more harm than good.
Anyway, this has turned into more of an essay than I anticipated! Sorry for that. Hopefully I can work out how to stick this behind a spoiler so people can skip it. I’ll finish with this:
1.I’ve seen a few people on here and Twitter say I started a patreon/tipjar etc. I didn’t. I never suggested I would. I’m not sure where that’s come from. I never took a penny from anyone. I did make a little money from ad revenue in the last few weeks, around £300.
2. I’m sorry people feel I stole from here without giving credit. I did mention Tattle a few times, maybe not enough. Of course I used the wiki and media sections and they were hugely useful. I would say it was more work than just copying and pasting though, and I spent a lot of time trawling through old interviews and articles, as well as the wayback machine, to find my own resources too.
3. It’s not a coincidence that Jack has never been invited back on Saturday Kitchen. I can’t spill the tea, and you’d have no reason to believe me anyway, but she lost herself a lot of good will with important people through the DKL process, largely through her own hubris and refusal to listen to advice.
4. People in the industry have been privately calling her out for years. She’ll get the odd gig here and there I’m sure, but her name is mud amongst those with real influence. There’s a lot of relief that she is being called out publicly now.
5. Trifle Defender is lovely. Just an incredibly kind, smart and interesting person. I miss chatting with her.
Thank you if you read all that! I hope it’s vaguely interesting to some of you.
