Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

[FunnyFuneral]

In a terrible frame of mind and then I see that Jack is back... that is not going to help.

Anyhoo, in the latest edition of 'make it make sense' , on what bleeping planet can she lecture Annunziata Rees Mogg about poor people being too depressed etc to batch cook, and then suggest that the poors
1. Collect together remembants of candles, some string and a ringpull
2. Get an old tin, remove the label, rinse and dry it
3. Get a screw driver and hammer to punch holes in said tin
4. Melt remnants of candles over a hob
5. Pour contents in to set.

To make a candle.

So. To all you scummy, Tory loving, evil doers out there now you know. Suggesting making abit of extra spag-bol and freeze it = nazi who wants her DEAD
Suggest making candles using house hold objects when cheap candles are regularly available = activist, saint of Povvos etc.

Especially if, as a poor Povvo, scented candles are important to you for the ambience of your home, you can buy quite a lot of scented tea lights at somewhere like Primark say for a couple of £, and find nice little holders in a chazzer or Primark, again for a couple of £, or ask for ones you would like for Christmas or birthday gifts etc. I'm besotted by candlelight and have always had some, even in the poorest of times because they make me happy.
I can't imagine bashing holes in a rinsed out bean tin and melting scraps of wax would have had quite the same relaxing effect.
LJC, I could buy 100 tealights for £2 in Sainsburys not that long ago, unscented like, but you can have the candles and just one scented makes a difference.
It doesn't all have to be Partylite and Jo Malone's

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Should we have a separate list of spenny things she has stolen found left behind?

 

[MavisBeacon]

Should we have a separate list of spenny things she has stolen found left behind?

I would be interested to know what the price of that was last week before it started snowing...

 

[lilykestrel]

I was just having a peruse of the unacknowledged replies to the tin can canterns and bloody hell

No wonder she's still churning this tit out when it's just wall to wall simpery in the (controlled) replies. Where do these people draw the line? She says she spent the day hanging her arse out the window shitting onto the pavement below, do they all applaud "well done! saving water!" "fertilises the plants!" "I'll give that a go!!!!"

I'm just so confused

 

[Whaa?]

None of those cunts bought Thrifty Kitchen. Bet she's raging.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Every now and again I’m flabbergasted all over again by the sheer amount of stuff she’s accumulated.

Spoiler: Jack tit

It’s just…wild. And NO CONTENTS INSURANCE because of POVERTY TRAUMA

Thanks to all fraus who initially immortalized all these pics. A bonus Chesney pic for dearest @MancBee and nice giant bleeping tv on the mantel in the Christmas tree pic, Jack.

“Thank(space)you for all that you do I buy”

(ETA not sure why these two random attachments are here, sorry, but they’ll have to stay cos I can’t figure out how to fix as I’m now BUSY)

 

[HotesTilaire]

Is this the sledge that she claimed to have found in (i.e. stole from) someone's front garden?

Looks pretty antique, not something I imagine SB would be out on during the current snow.

Maybe Jack 'Two Sledges' Monroe was talking about another one. So dificult to keep track of all the 'stuff' she has acumulated.


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You know, this isn’t a real bed. No burger deliveries, please, else it’ll all collapse.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

It is the stuff of nightmares Dearheart.

All dyed black dear heart

 

[Gnomic Gnome]

Every now and again I’m flabbergasted all over again by the sheer amount of stuff she’s accumulated.

Spoiler: Jack tit

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It’s just…wild. And NO CONTENTS INSURANCE because of POVERTY TRAUMA

Thanks to all fraus who initially immortalized all these pics. A bonus Chesney pic for dearest @MancBee and nice giant bleeping tv on the mantel in the Christmas tree pic, Jack.

“Thank(space)you for all that you do I buy”
View attachment 2014248
(ETA not sure why these two random attachments are here, sorry, but they’ll have to stay cos I can’t figure out how to fix as I’m now BUSY)

That’s serious hoarding. The garden is a tit show.

 

[Bellaboos]

This person should shack up with Jack, she can have the beans and they can have the sauce. It's like my Old Harold eating the bounties out of the celebrations tin

It’s like that old rhyme. Jack the twit will eat no sauce and squig will eat nothing beans

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Ask your Mum if she used “dead bananas” instead of eggs…

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I think your mother has been making Jack’s dollar pancakes. They still look better than Jack’s tho.

Spoiler

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Which she loved sooooo much she reposted in 2018, not even acknowledging she’d done it before
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A kind of hole, what a bleeping . You're a kind of hole Jack, A massive c u next Tuesday

 

[MavisBeacon]

I was just having a peruse of the unacknowledged replies to the tin can canterns and bloody hell

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No wonder she's still churning this tit out when it's just wall to wall simpery in the (controlled) replies. Where do these people draw the line? She says she spent the day hanging her arse out the window shitting onto the pavement below, do they all applaud "well done! saving water!" "fertilises the plants!" "I'll give that a go!!!!"

I'm just so confused

Yeah, don't do the flower pot heater. Although I'm sure Jack The Bestest Fire Safety Person Of All Time would remind you to be CAREFUL https://www.bigissue.com/news/social-justice/plant-pot-candle-heater-tiktok-safe-do-they-work/

 

[HotesTilaire]

Yeah, don't do the flower pot heater. Although I'm sure Jack The Bestest Fire Safety Person Of All Time would remind you to be CAREFUL https://www.bigissue.com/news/social-justice/plant-pot-candle-heater-tiktok-safe-do-they-work/

Big Issue don’t bother with Jack much, do they. Makes you think.

 

[stunrw]

Big Issue don’t bother with Jack much, do they. Makes you think.

They would give her some to sell and she’d probably try and turn it into slop

 

[Mr Krabs]

But what nearly teenage boy wouldn't ask mamapapa for those prints for his new room

View attachment 2014014

Mamapapa, please may I have a room that looks like the slightly damp guest room in your great aunt’s house that hasn’t been changed since the 1970s? Football? Minecraft? No I’d just adore an old cushion with a random dog on it.

 

[Hold my beans]

That’s serious hoarding. The garden is a tit show.

You know those cute little brambly mice that live in the garden? I'm starting to think they might be not-so-cute big scary rats

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Every now and again I’m flabbergasted all over again by the sheer amount of stuff she’s accumulated.

Spoiler: Jack tit

View attachment 2014088View attachment 2014089View attachment 2014091View attachment 2014247View attachment 2014094View attachment 2014306View attachment 2014097View attachment 2014098View attachment 2014113View attachment 2014216View attachment 2014217View attachment 2014222View attachment 2014114View attachment 2014115View attachment 2014116View attachment 2014171View attachment 2014117View attachment 2014118View attachment 2014172View attachment 2014174View attachment 2014173View attachment 2014234View attachment 2014235View attachment 2014119View attachment 2014193

View attachment 2014175View attachment 2014176View attachment 2014177View attachment 2014178View attachment 2014255View attachment 2014187View attachment 2014205View attachment 2014179View attachment 2014197
It’s just…wild. And NO CONTENTS INSURANCE because of POVERTY TRAUMA

Thanks to all fraus who initially immortalized all these pics. A bonus Chesney pic for dearest @MancBee and nice giant bleeping tv on the mantel in the Christmas tree pic, Jack.

“Thank(space)you for all that you do I buy”
View attachment 2014248
(ETA not sure why these two random attachments are here, sorry, but they’ll have to stay cos I can’t figure out how to fix as I’m now BUSY)

It is truly unimaginable. She must be one of those people who literally cannot walk past a skip or something with a "free please take" sign on without taking it, there's just so much STUFF.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Didn't you know that 'It's a truth universally acknowledged that people in the comments club are in want of a brain"

 

[lilykestrel]

Yeah, don't do the flower pot heater. Although I'm sure Jack The Bestest Fire Safety Person Of All Time would remind you to be CAREFUL https://www.bigissue.com/news/social-justice/plant-pot-candle-heater-tiktok-safe-do-they-work/

“In layman’s terms, you cannot create energy. So, a ‘free lunch’ is not possible,” Erich A Muller, professor of thermodynamics at Imperial College London, told the Big Issue.

It’s only natural the “heater” will make the room hotter – but it’s insulation that will keep it warm, Muller added. “This combustion generates heat and will raise the temperature of the space,” he said.

“The terracotta is just forcing some of the warm air from the candles to stay in place and not dissipate so rapidly, but it is doing nothing additional other than the illusion of a little heater,” Muller added.

“If you really want to save energy, there are no silver bullets: double glaze the windows, draft-proof the doors, insulate the walls cavities and ceiling, and use efficient heaters – for example, ditching the electric heater for gas or, better yet, for heat pumps.”

Surprised Professor Muller didn't recommend some other energy saving tips such as, cover your windows in bubble wrap, take all your light bulbs out, put a sheet of cardboard under your bedsheet etc. etc. etc.

 

[Madonna_Claws]

(@That Forensic Man is there an Ikea MALM bed on the stocktake? Cos that sure looks like one)

I think the headboard looks a little bit too deep to be a Malm.