Jackie? That you?
Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking
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Mr Men & Little Miss books, dearheart
P.S. coming from the past, so apologies if we are now well past this x
Even my dogs would cross the road to avoid that if it was on the pavement………..
Ein froher Weltfrauentag to all the Fraus loitering around the Kanal today!
I think it’s ok as long as you don’t put the candle tins in the microwave.
I just showed that pic to Mr Mabel and said I fancied making this for tea tonight.This is one of her big problems isn’t it, she doesn’t belong anywhere. Doesn’t seem to have retained any friends from school / the fire service, no social circle from work, not a chef or a campaigner or a proper writer / journalist. No partner she’s fallen softly, gently in love with. Her son doesn’t appear to spend much time with her, and tbh he’s almost 13 and I imagine most boys of that age prefer to spend time with friends instead of their mums, even when you don’t factor in her being a horrid narc mum. The only place she has any sense of “community” is through AA, and I’d wager most of the members of her group wish she’d go away and the rest feel sorry for her. So nowhere to belong, and no real sense of self / purpose / place in the world, so all she can wang on about is a job she LEFT 13 years ago and lying about drilling holes in tin cans. And all entirely her own fault, because she has a horrible personality, lies about everything and elevenerifes everyone constantly. What a sad little life Jack.
ETA: forgot i showed my SB this the other day and asked if he wanted to try it for dinner:View attachment 2013281
His answer? “Mummy that’s worms, disgusting”, which is odd because I thought he’d clap and declare it the best ever. And ever since when I ask what he wants to eat his first answer is “not WORMS mummy!”
'I'm not eating that'
Jack’s entire kitchen is already a complete fire hazard/safety nightmare though, so the candle tins are really just the cherry pilchard on top of the trifle.
(@Captainmouse immortalizing the sentient rug)
PS check out the date on this bottom one. 4th Feb.
A mere 3 weeks after this “peaceful and serene” decluttered kitchen, the very same corner (and the rest of it) rammed with tit. WHAT. A. TIT. I feel soooooo sorry for that landlady.
PS check out the date on this bottom one. 4th Feb.
A mere 3 weeks after this “peaceful and serene” decluttered kitchen, the very same corner (and the rest of it) rammed with tit. WHAT. A. TIT. I feel soooooo sorry for that landlady.
Also, I am not smol and would not be able to reach the performative ‘eclectic’ utensils hanging over the hob. My hob is about waist height and I would not want to set my consensual perky blinders on fire leaning/stretching up and over trying to get hold of a spatula. That said, seeing as everything she cooks is slop, spatula is probs surplus to requirements…. Inexplicable, if you will.I think it’s ok as long as you don’t put the candle tins in the microwave.
@Flivver Jack pretending that her electric kettle was a hob kettle. While rubbing her flue on the counter again, pretending to be sober after a week and forgetting to move the base for the electric kettle before the Guardian snapped the pic.
View attachment 2013346Dipshit.
Jack, I think your mate Gary is TROLLING you on Twitter by getting all up in your niche!
Although…
Although…
Bit gauche, Gary darling.
BIB - I'm creased up laughing at the image!
Let's face it, she spends those 120 hours a week or whatever it was now, just moving stuff around in her house constantly. That kitchen is a state.Jack’s entire kitchen is already a complete fire hazard/safety nightmare though, so the candle tins are really just thecherrypilchard on top of the trifle.
View attachment 2013366(@Captainmouse immortalizing the sentient rug)
View attachment 2013370
PS check out the date on this bottom one. 4th Feb.
View attachment 2013381View attachment 2013382
A mere 3 weeks after this “peaceful and serene” decluttered kitchen, the very same corner (and the rest of it) rammed with tit. WHAT. A. TIT. I feel soooooo sorry for that landlady.
Did we have £75 for the toaster that didn’t exist @That Forensic Man ??Jack’s entire kitchen is already a complete fire hazard/safety nightmare though, so the candle tins are really just thecherrypilchard on top of the trifle.
View attachment 2013366(@Captainmouse immortalizing the sentient rug)
View attachment 2013370
PS check out the date on this bottom one. 4th Feb.
View attachment 2013381View attachment 2013382
A mere 3 weeks after this “peaceful and serene” decluttered kitchen, the very same corner (and the rest of it) rammed with tit. WHAT. A. TIT. I feel soooooo sorry for that landlady.
You know, I have had some very ridiculous "Ooh, I can create this out of this" ideas, but not once have I looked at my empty tin of beans and thought it would make a perfect candle/lantern/whatever. Not even at 2am after too much vodka.
As dearest @HotesTilaire pondered many moons ago back in the mists of late 2021
That was after @Marmalade Atkins had immortalized yet another massive moving “project” involving seventysomething boxes and Jack humping sideboards (this time thankfully NOT in a manky sports bra and support underwear “sexy” way. In a world’s strongest smol pixie way).
Contradicting what she’d said before. I wonder if she had to “snap it in half clean down the middle” like the old one so she could give Louisa back her half before it “trotted off”.
(@Marmalade Atkins for the screenies and @HotesTilaire for the musings
)PS “Two hour discussion about steampunk and retrofuturistic fashions” is never ever not WTAF
Looking at the ‘no mental in the microwave’ posts - WTF is a scant tablespoon of water?! I know this has been covered before, but it perplexes me every time. Or do it mean it perpendiculates me? All word interchangeable etc.
This person should shack up with Jack, she can have the beans and they can have the sauce. It's like my Old Harold eating the bounties out of the celebrations tin
And how can you while away time watching Netflix when you can’t afford it?!
'Scant' is one of Nigella's favourite words, just google Nigella + scant and you'll get pages of results.
Popped into town today, 1st time since Christmas and tenderstems, I made a beeline for Waterstones.
There it was, the same, singular, solitary copy that my sister has been keeping her eye on. It's apparently sat there since itshit the shelves. Surrounded by delicious, creative tomes full of enticement and promise, like a pair of Adidas 4 stripes, it just looked wrong.
Unfortunately, I was spotted doing this
But to my surprise, everyone in the store turned around and slowly started clapping. It got louder and louder, until I was gently scooped up, tenderly held aloft onto the shoulders of the other customers until the manager came over, quietly wiping a tear away and whispered, "thankyou thankyou thankyou"
There it was, the same, singular, solitary copy that my sister has been keeping her eye on. It's apparently sat there since it
Unfortunately, I was spotted doing this
But to my surprise, everyone in the store turned around and slowly started clapping. It got louder and louder, until I was gently scooped up, tenderly held aloft onto the shoulders of the other customers until the manager came over, quietly wiping a tear away and whispered, "thankyou thankyou thankyou"
Ideally Jack would marry someone like this so they could drink up the rinsed bean juice and together they’d use up a tin of beans with zero waste (the tins themselves would be turned into candles of course).
“Jack
Her OH would eat no beans
And so between the both of them
They licked the platter clean.”
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