Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

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I had LEFT over the New Year so missed this but - 183 books - so ... A BOOK EVERY OTHER DAY? What's she reading ... Goosebumps?
????!!! Plus her 120 hour working week, walking Content (presume she'd need at least 2 hours walking a day plus enrichment activities and attention), plus captivating conversation-starter-card-led discussions with her son and helping him with his homework etc. SHE'S EXHAUSTED 😩
 
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To be fair to you all, when I read cacophony and superfluous, I hear it in my head like you used to say it and there's a fair chance that if caught unawares, I might pronounce it that way too!

Send pronunciationos
Babe, same, but with the word hyperbole 🎳 x
 
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Awww I miss insta Jack. Twitter and it's silly character limit. Did anyone guess what her NY resolution was that was unpinning everything she did?
Gently, softly being a cuntè?
I’m starting to wonder if this fire obsession is some sort of Jekyll & Hyde turmoil Jack has raging like a conflagration deep inside. The pressure to be anti fire (like that fireman on Friends who saw fire hazards everywhere) to please big D when in the depths of her soul Jack wants to burn everything to the ground (eg her ‘career’) & watch the flames? She’s always bleeping around with tumble drier fluff, tin can candles now, all the references to fire over the years. Makes you think…
 
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I forgot to say I saw Grifty kitchen in the wild today! Same three copies as last time I looked but price has come down. NOT in the suggested mothers day gift section. 🤣
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Am not convinced ‘entertainment’ is a good fit either. Dangerous possibly? Or tit and boring but I don’t think those are Sainsbury’s categories
 
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Wait… curious minds are wondering how you’re meant to pronounce cacophony or superfluous then… not me, of course, other fewer-than-9.5gcse-minds….
Simple Minds had a great album called Real to Real Cacophony. I played it to death at Uni. Now whenever I see the word cacophony I hear Jim Kerr in my head.
 
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You fill them full of water, freeze them and then you can do this without bending the tin (I know someone that made loads for a wedding), you then let the water melt and voilà!
Akshully I think you'll find Jack always feels a bit funny about using equipment that isn't readily available to the poors. Like ice. So therefore she would not use this method. Hth tenderstem 🥰
 
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I forgot to say I saw Grifty kitchen in the wild today! Same three copies as last time I looked but price has come down. NOT in the suggested mothers day gift section. 🤣
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Am not convinced ‘entertainment’ is a good fit either. Dangerous possibly? Or tit and boring but I don’t think those are Sainsbury’s categories
I have at times been entertained by the rubbish in that hardbacked vacuum of self awareness. They said what they said, Vicki. 😂
 
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What would fry/cook with tinned fish oil and how many cans of fish would you need to eat to get a decent amount of oil. I think the answer is duck knows. Imagining the smell it would make is making me queasy. Ahh, that’s what the tinned candles are for.
If you can’t face frying with it, you can always whisk it raw with the juice from tinned fruit.

You know, just like they “could” serve it at The Ivy.

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If I ever drill holes in a tin can to make a candle from bits of Yankee candle I somehow got for free from a puddle or picked straight from the Yankee candle tree in full fruit, can someone arrange the necessary (t)intervention? Thanks y'all. Just a wee request from a not American not Scottish Mammoth.
 
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If you can’t face frying with it, you can always whisk it raw with the juice from tinned fruit.

You know, just like they “could” serve it at The Ivy.

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Last time I went to the Ivy it was a bit tit..
 
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Imagine waiting for postcards/activism/online store discount codes/sub prime feet pics (🤢🤮) and there she is drilling tins and filling them with wax from perfectly serviceable candles for 100 hours a week.

She is totally intergalactic now. Detached not only from earthly cultural norms, but out of our planet's gravitational pull, circling round a Jack hole somewhere a few billion light years away.
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Maybe she's practising for a sequel to grifty kitchen
Shifty urchin (the ouch diaries)?

Or is that the memoir (me mwah!) title?
 
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Imagine waiting for postcards/activism/online store discount codes/sub prime feet pics (🤢🤮) and there she is drilling tins and filling them with wax from perfectly serviceable candles for 100 hours a week.
It's barmy isn't it? Obviously everyone is allowed a hobby. Inane, pointless and dangerous as it may be. But Jack is being paid good money by patreon donors to fund her activism, charity work and school visits. It explicitly says so on her patreon page. So what a slap in the face to keep reading she does duck all apart from drill holes in tins and have endless cups of tea in her 'cosy gaff'.
Not to mention the VBI.
 
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If you can’t face frying with it, you can always whisk it raw with the juice from tinned fruit.

You know, just like they “could” serve it at The Ivy.

View attachment 2012442
Thank you Jack I love fish and orange together
 
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It's barmy isn't it? Obviously everyone is allowed a hobby. Inane, pointless and dangerous as it may be. But Jack is being
paid good money by patreon donors to fund her activism, charity work and school visits. It explicitly says so on her patreon page. So what a slap in the face to keep reading she does duck all apart from drill holes in tins and have endless cups of tea in her 'cosy gaff'.
Not to mention the VBI.
You'd have more luck hiring a primary school child armed with nothing more than a 3 pack of play dough and a spoon to split the atom than to get Jack to put cards into envelopes and put stamps on.
 
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when is she starting the beg to pay her CCJ?
she’d only need to sell 3 hoodies on Teemill
 
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Can anyone else smell burning?
What you're smelling is the burnt, unwashed skin from Jack's poor wrinkly hands. Homemade lanterns: A fire hazard that is too hot to handle! And who bleeping NEEDS LANTERNS??? Why not take your cans, etc. to the recycling center? Or carefully pack your recycling bin? Why make more stuff when you are ostensibly trying to move??? What is the value of these lanterns--not functional, not pretty, not useful, just more tit to take care of.
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FFS, she's learnt nothing from the egg ring debacle - those cans will have an epoxy resin coating, so shouldn't be heated like this.
Useless krafty items that are also a potential health hazard? Sign me up!
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Things Jack is fanatical about: Using melted old wax to make lanterns.
Things Jack is not fanatical about: Flavor, words, texture, accountability, integrity, technique, empathy, generosity, paying bills, honoring commitments, the truth, reciprocity in relationships, self-awareness, the truth, pet care, hair care, child care, feeling satisfaction at a job well done, the truth, the milk of human kindness (unless it is draining on her), activism, advocacy, sympathy, timeliness, personal hygiene, the truth, being a good neighbor and citizen of the world.

Did I miss anything?
 

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It's 9 weeks 3 days since Jan 1st so we should have had about 38 blog posts by now. I remember mithering we'd only see 2. What a sweet summer child I was back then.
Plus 3 patreon rewards drops should've gone I think?
 
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I genuinely think she just says stuff for the likes/dopamine hit at the time and thinks nothing of actually following up on doing it or how she's going to prove it. The blog posts are a prime example of that. I'm stunned that the candle tins were a new post - I sped-grunked and thought they were from the last time she showed the crappy, 3rd-degree-burn-level-hot looking things. She truly has nothing to do which is mind blowing considering she's apparently (still) mid-move!! And has SO MUCH STUFF!! Who the hell is making morrrrre random tit when you're trying to pack up and move? Something is very fishy, and it isn't just the week old crab paste lodged in her fingernails 😬
 
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