Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

[Valiofthedolls]

NOOOOOOO!!!! THIS background candle from today

Is the EXACT same style make model and colour as THIS candle which Jack pretended last summer she’d MADE out of “lots of different bits of (coincidentally the exact same colour as one another) leftover candles” the last time she “made candles”.

And that she was so pleased with this “made” candle she then wanted to go to the Yankee Candle website “cut the next and top bit off a load of hoarded glass bottles” to “make” more.

After coming up with another lie to cover it not being in a Gu pot even though she was making candles in Gu pots.

Daft lying twit.

 

[HotesTilaire]

The original Grifty Kitchen Heckin Hunk of Manuscript was actually Cack Jonroe’s Big Book of Household Management.
It was originally going to contain all the thrifty tips as a large section, think how many amendment stickers would have been needed!
She showed us the tit tips pages, paginated with a horrid orange font. After wanging on about tumble dryer firefighters, painted tin can candle holders and drying her hair with a pair of leggings, it was sent for rewrites for about 2 years until Grifty Shitchen was born.

 

[Whatisgoingonlol]

Just sniffed my way back into this thread as I could smell smoke

 

[HotesTilaire]

NOOOOOOO!!!! THIS background candle from today
View attachment 2012254

Is the EXACT same style make model and colour as THIS candle which Jack pretended last summer she’d MADE out of “lots of different bits of (coincidentally the exact same colour as one another) leftover candles” the last time she “made candles”.
View attachment 2012279View attachment 2012257
View attachment 2012274And that she was so pleased with this “made” candle she then wanted to go to the Yankee Candle website “cut the next and top bit off a load of hoarded glass bottles” to “make” more.
View attachment 2012258After coming up with another lie to cover it not being in a Gu pot even though she was making candles in Gu pots.
View attachment 2012282
Daft lying twit.

I mean she recycles LIES often enough

 

[hoopdedoo]

Chapeau for spotting that @Valiofthedolls , you'll be getting your own Netflix detective series soon


ETA: The thought of Jack trying to figure out how to cut the necks off glass bottles (although it would likely be fodder for "my trip to A&E" "permanently damaged tendons and scarring" tip-jar-rattling)

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Correction, Elon. Jack Monroe is a SHE.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

Just sniffed my way back into this thread as I thought someone said coke

Jack? Is that you

 

[Mr Krabs]

Chapeau for spotting that @Valiofthedolls , you'll be getting your own Netflix detective series soon


ETA: The thought of Jack trying to figure out how to cut the necks off glass bottles (although it would likely be fodder for "my trip to A&E" "permanently damaged tendons and scarring" tip-jar-rattling)

A while ago there was a life hack going round where you could cut a bottle in half using a piece of string soaked in lighter fluid. I’m really really hoping she never picks up that one. Don’t try this one in your bungahome, kids.

 

[Ablemabel]

I pronounced superfluous as super-flew-us and my mum didn't let me live it down for years

To be fair to you all, when I read cacophony and superfluous, I hear it in my head like you used to say it and there's a fair chance that if caught unawares, I might pronounce it that way too!

Send pronunciationos

 

[kachoochoo]

Correction, Elon. Jack Monroe is a SHE.

View attachment 2012302

tbf, halli has proven to be an absolute legend! jack could never!

 

[HotesTilaire]

A while ago there was a life hack going round where you could cut a bottle in half using a piece of string soaked in lighter fluid. I’m really really hoping she never picks up that one. Don’t try this one in your bungahome, kids.

Was that the one the girlfriend of some influencer tried and it exploded in her face? She’s got terrible burns scars.

 

[Claret]

Who gets the dregs of candles, melts them down and then put them in a tin can?....who. Stupid cow

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Chapeau for spotting that @Valiofthedolls , you'll be getting your own Netflix detective series soon

Detective mither.

Spoiler

I think I’ve already said that when I first came here I feel I was like young fresh faced “Wait, WTF?” Rust on the left.

And now I feel like I’m grizzled absolutely fucked cynical as duck Rust on the right.

Luckily I still have my Big Hug Mug, because Jack Monroe is EXHAUSTING.

 

[BubbleDuck]

Was that the one the girlfriend of some influencer tried and it exploded in her face? She’s got terrible burns scars.

Yeah, Abbie , former girlfriend of top Hollyoaks star AJ Pritchard

Spoiler: Spoiler- article with injury pictures

Accident left AJ Pritchard's girlfriend Abbie with horrifying burns

Abbie Quinnen suffered third-degree burns after being injured while filming a stunt for TikTok. Girlfriend of AJ Pritchard, 24, reveals how her life changed as she returns to work in panto in Essex.

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[HotesTilaire]

Who gets the dregs of candles, melts them down and then put them in a tin can?....who. Stupid cow

A person who owns 3 expensive hand soap dispensers but never cleans their nails…
---

Yeah, Abbie , former girlfriend of top Hollyoaks star AJ Pritchard

Spoiler: Spoiler- article with injury pictures

Accident left AJ Pritchard's girlfriend Abbie with horrifying burns

Abbie Quinnen suffered third-degree burns after being injured while filming a stunt for TikTok. Girlfriend of AJ Pritchard, 24, reveals how her life changed as she returns to work in panto in Essex.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Oh yeah he got his girlfriend to do the stunt in a crop top. He’s fine.

 

[Suffolkmum]

I truly believe I would rather smell that for eternity than be forced to eat a single meal cooked using a small jar of miscellaneous oil dregs painstakingly collected from fish tins.

View attachment 2011895

That would make me feel very unwell (a sort of not-hole?)

What would fry/cook with tinned fish oil and how many cans of fish would you need to eat to get a decent amount of oil. I think the answer is duck knows. Imagining the smell it would make is making me queasy. Ahh, that’s what the tinned candles are for.

 

[bracrumbs]

Wait… curious minds are wondering how you’re meant to pronounce cacophony or superfluous then… not me, of course, other fewer-than-9.5gcse-minds….

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Imagine being a teen about to enter into a year where you make choices for your GCSEs your mum keeps banging on about being a number campaigner and writer etc, yet after a hard days slog at school you come home to find her drilling holes in the recycling and brandishing homemade candles that will not only be hotter to handle than the kettle but emitting sooty smoke.... before settling down to something that is called dinner but resembles the swamp creature you doodled during the french verbs lesson( was that only me?)

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Wait… curious minds are wondering how you’re meant to pronounce cacophony or superfluous then… not me, of course, other fewer-than-9.5gcse-minds….

Cah-COH-fon-nee

Soup-PER-flue-us

 

[Cookiecookie]

A while ago there was a life hack going round where you could cut a bottle in half using a piece of string soaked in lighter fluid. I’m really really hoping she never picks up that one. Don’t try this one in your bungahome, kids.

Why the buggery would you ever need to do that?

Wait… curious minds are wondering how you’re meant to pronounce cacophony or superfluous then… not me, of course, other fewer-than-9.5gcse-minds….

Same. But I live somewhere cross-sont is accepted as being correct, so it's not like anyone here would give a hoot if I said things wrong anyway!