I truly believe I would rather smell that for eternity than be forced to eat a single meal cooked using a small jar of miscellaneous oil dregs painstakingly collected from fish tins.
That would make me feel very unwell (a sort of not-hole?)
Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking
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That would make me feel very unwell (a sort of not-hole?)
Not more tin cans. She did something similar when researching for Grifty kitchen, probably about 2 years ago. I think she painted them eau de nil with teal spots.
Stupid bloody bleep.
Stupid bloody bleep.
Do you know, this is exactly what I thought when I saw arts & craft Jack.
"What are you doing, darling?"
"I'm busy, Mommy!"
"Oh, look! You have been busy. What have you made?"
"Perfume, Mommy!"
"Clever girl, Jack! What a big girl you are! Time for a dino nap after all that hard work!"
I had one of these 'candles' thrown over my head when I got caught up in a pocket of unrest while I was working. You don't need to stretch to plaited wick string! The remnants from a cut up t shirt (which you've used to make cleaning cloths) will do in a pinchJack, a plaited, double knotted wick in a freshly washed milk bottle topped up with petrol also makes for a good alternative if you can't scrape any more wax from a spent Jo Malone that your ex might have left
#sweetiettoptips
. Makes for a lovely flame and probably smells nicer than the painstakingly saved scraps from a thousand candle remains.Having spent NYE constructing that home essential “a compost tumbler”.
No spend year 2021. Almost brought down at the first by William Morris
(Screenies from @Silver Linings and @Marmalade Atkins)
Luckily, Jack’s NY resolution 2021also involved decluttering, so in light of that the no spending part was easy!
(Nice dustpan and brush hanging above the food prep surface, you compost tumbling minger)
"Reader, I burgered him"
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In other news, I can't stop cackling at the alignment of this tweet with the circular worktop damage front and centre
I mean, even if it's not a tin-can-burn-mark, would you still take health and safety advice from somebody SETTING TIN CANS ON FIRE on a damaged worktop
She did. And had them on the side of her bath, ready to be red hot and deliver 2nd degree burns and/or melt rings in a plastic bath. De ja Jack is the worst.
Awww I miss insta Jack. Twitter and it's silly character limit. Did anyone guess what her NY resolution was that was unpinning everything she did?
What with this and SweetieT’s cunté post earlier, I’m really glad I did all those Kegel exercisesJust nearly coughed up a lung laughing
'See if you can guess what it was as the year goes by'. I beg your fuckin pardon. No one, not even the swivel eyed squigs, are wondering about your resolutions as the year passes. Pull your little cow pat wig out your arse.
All she could find in the puddleNervous face...Why does she buy jackets that are too small.
If you're a "campaigner and author" who hasn't raised the profile of anything apart from Asda and Farrow & Ball for the past year, has no paid work on the horizon, can't even give your "best book yet" away and appear to be collecting CCJs like Pokemon, do you:
A: Do some bleeping campaigning (there's a little cost of living situation going on at the moment? Don't know if you've heard) and hopefully secure yourself some paid work off the back of it.
B: Get a salaried job and softly, gently accept that your five minutes of "fame" are up.
C: Make some candle holders out of old bean tins.
Still, the revival of Arts & Crafts Jack gives me the perfect opportunity to remind everyone of her previous foray into candle making - which, bizarrely, led directly to the "I used to work in a brothel" reveal.
A: Do some bleeping campaigning (there's a little cost of living situation going on at the moment? Don't know if you've heard) and hopefully secure yourself some paid work off the back of it.
B: Get a salaried job and softly, gently accept that your five minutes of "fame" are up.
C: Make some candle holders out of old bean tins.
Still, the revival of Arts & Crafts Jack gives me the perfect opportunity to remind everyone of her previous foray into candle making - which, bizarrely, led directly to the "I used to work in a brothel" reveal.
I once pronounced cacophony like kakafoneyOh don't, I'm still cringing about using the word ostensibly incorrectly at work over two years ago
when I was about 26? Still haunts me a decade later.
Did she ever say in what capacity? Cleaner? Dominatrix? Receptionist?
Isn’t that the toaster she definitely doesnt have too..?
That's not a Gu pot, Jack.
If I sit here wondering why she lies all the time about utterly pointless things, I'll melt my brain.
If I sit here wondering why she lies all the time about utterly pointless things, I'll melt my brain.
Of course they're her mums old Gü pots, couldn't be her own could they, only Just Essentials chocolate pudding pots for old Jackie ... in fact, she prefers them! They're a dead ringer for Hotel Chocolat products!
FFS just admit you nab 'em when you see they're on special and squirrel the ramekins away like everybody else does, Jack
ETA ... oh ffs Jack
She lied about that too. She just wanted to gotcha the squig
Just saw the "canteens" on Twitter. Doesn't metal conduct heat? Is this something a former member of the fire service should be putting into the public domain? I just don't understand why. What have I just seen on Twitter.
My flabber is gasted by this.
My flabber is gasted by this.
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