There are so many Jack fishalikes I think we could have a new episode of the Octonauts. I suspect Professor Inkling and Captain Barnacles would see through her bullshit. Worth noting the Walri in The Octonauts are thuggish bullies!
Jack Monroe #469 Spam fits my macros.
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jack Monroe Threads Wiki
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
There's some people going to be very confused / disappointed this weekend when they google Plenty of Fish
Of course they do, dear heart. My OH went to our local surgery with his gout and they gave him these.She really does fancy herself. I've just gone back into that cursed Facebook beauty group for the first time in about two years to delve for Jack pics and OH BOY, the amount of amateur model shoot type photos is vomit inducing.I used to do tit like this when I was about 13.
I found this one too from when she apparently had her eye bitten by an insect.I've never before in all my life known someone who turns ailments into performance art. There should be a special imaginary illness category named after her: HYPOCHONDRIJACK.
ETA the image of the insect bitten eye (that poor insect) To be fair to her, it looks genuine and no glitter to be detectedbut why does she have to make such a song and dance with the eye patch. Oh I know why, because just taking an antihistamine and getting on with it won't make people stop and go omggg what happened to yooouuu
Do doctors even give eye patches? I had an eye injury about seven years ago and they stuck some padding on with some micropore and said duck off now, pal.
Jack when she's back on the Hellsite:
'I respond because it doesn't matter if I'm quiet. These sad arseholes never stop their endless, relentless trolling. They talk about how different animals smell! They compare ME to different pictures of fish! I can't do this anymore'
'I respond because it doesn't matter if I'm quiet. These sad arseholes never stop their endless, relentless trolling. They talk about how different animals smell! They compare ME to different pictures of fish! I can't do this anymore'
I'd like to Call For Fish! (memories of the polypocketed fish delivery that Jackie ignored)
Unless the plans were for a photo shoot that couldn’t be edited I’m unclear why they needed to be cancelled.She really does fancy herself. I've just gone back into that cursed Facebook beauty group for the first time in about two years to delve for Jack pics and OH BOY, the amount of amateur model shoot type photos is vomit inducing.
I found this one too from when she apparently had her eye bitten by an insect.
ETA the image of the insect bitten eye (that poor insect) To be fair to her, it looks genuine and no glitter to be detected
I went to the doctor about my ouchy crumbling joints and they put me in this full body cast. I’m just soooo embarrassed 
Do NOT look at my fanny!! Or the cat on my shoulder, that I’m just looking after/taken in for one of my friends, who is just out of shot, laughing and having oodles of fun.
WARNED
Do NOT look at my fanny!! Or the cat on my shoulder, that I’m just looking after/taken in for one of my friends, who is just out of shot, laughing and having oodles of fun.
WARNED
Is it not someone taking the piss A la four Frappuccino style?How the duck did they afford a train?
I know this is bullshit but ffs
How would they know they used a food bank?
If they were too hard up for a phone anyone decent would give them the book.
Monroekarp: "Famous for being very unreliable. It can be found swimming in seas, lakes, rivers and shallow puddles."
I'm guessing that not ringing multiple people to cancel on them means that she wouldn't have got max attention.
I was so laser focused on the ouchy eye that I missed THE NOSE. An actual real life Pinocchio.
I LOVE Gloss and Goss Jack. It's my absolute favourite 
.
.
The Mrs Gloss phase is after that. Mrs Gloss coincides more with her being SO POOR that she can’t afford rent, and starting her tip jar and Patreon begs (April 2017). The peak binders and surgery chat phase was from October 2015 (she came out as nonbinary on 11 Oct and lots of press followed) to the middle of 2016 (that RIDICULOUS red dress and suit Guardian shoot). She was OVER IT by the time the tits and terrible makeup came out to play on Mrs Gloss
That pic’s from May 2017. It does match the time she was just getting together with LJC though (they met in March and got together not long after that), and letting her hair “dry naturally in the sea air”. Yes, this is Jack’s beach outfit.
(Dated SS from dearest @colouredlines) Someone was asking the other day about Jack’s various sobriety timelines. @colouredlines pulled together an AMAZING historical and PAINSTAKINGLY forensic one.
The thread title too! 
Jack Monroe #228 The winter of our fishcontent
I would definitely wear a Slopbot recipe apron when I’m cooking. Please 🙏🏽 I can't believe I didn't didn't think of an apron!
tattle.life
ETA ALSO SOME HIDEOUS BONUS JACKSLOP. WARNED. Oh it was terrible wasn't it? The fawning, the idiots in there getting excited whenever she posted her badly applied eyeshadow efforts, the pretending that she looked "fab Hun" when most of the time she looked like an errant 11 year old who'd found mum's makeup bag and put EVERYTHING on her face at one time.I LOVE Gloss and Goss Jack. It's my absolute favourite
---
Hang on, in the Gloss group she said it was a perm? It's not like her to lie so I really can't understand this? Maybe she whacked her head on a sink and got temporary amnesia.
Last edited:
Do you think she's ever told the truth? About anything?
I think it’s just that Jimmy Savile picture of her is easy to match with VERY STRANGE THINGS. The matching fish is also bonkers TBF.
For those who missed the haunted cupcake. (Immortalized in the avi of dearest @Ooointitot too)
Jack Monroe #438 She's a thief and her food is like slop. Delete this.
It’s definitely…a look. It’s like she’d been binge reading Jilly Cooper and thought she was channelling “sexy lady horse rider” but missed and got “Tory Local Councillor coming to open a car park” instead. ‘Tis indeed and ~one~ of the ~many~ Burberry scarves too. For someone who changes...
tattle.life
She says MY doctor, so I presume she means her gp. GPs don't give out eye patches, and why would she need one for an insect bite?She really does fancy herself. I've just gone back into that cursed Facebook beauty group for the first time in about two years to delve for Jack pics and OH BOY, the amount of amateur model shoot type photos is vomit inducing.
I found this one too from when she apparently had her eye bitten by an insect.
ETA the image of the insect bitten eye (that poor insect) To be fair to her, it looks genuine and no glitter to be detected
Did the insect bite her nose as well?
Her entire being is a creation.
Let's face it.
From her name, to what she says of her childhood, to the way she got pregnant, to the way she left the fire service, to the recipes in the blog etc.
None of what she has said about any of it is really true. Everything has been contradicted somewhere by someone.
Lee Evans, at a gig once, talked about how his wife can hear his bullshit from the other side of the room. He'll be telling a story about fighting off 4 big blokes and he'll just hear his wife,
"No he bleeping never"
Jack needs someone like that on her life.
Every word she says, every tweet, every line in every book..
"No you never"
She'd be conventionally attractive if she didn't have that blank dead behind the eyes look and if she never smiled, that smile is 3 quarters gum an fugly.
And the nose. The nose is an enigma wrapped in a mystery.
I don’t feel good knocking anyone's looks. I'm no oil painting either but im also not a thieving narcissistic selfish bastard and a tit cba mum so duck her.
And the nose. The nose is an enigma wrapped in a mystery.
I don’t feel good knocking anyone's looks. I'm no oil painting either but im also not a thieving narcissistic selfish bastard and a tit cba mum so duck her.
SB doesn't take these photos of her, she just wants people to think that she hasn't spent the last hour in front of her phone on a tripod, taking 'sexy' shots of herself.
- Status