I once had an acquaintance that divulged that her and her husband had £30 each ‘fun’ money a week and once it was gone that was it. That was for everything that wasn’t a bill. I was horrified; I ain’t rich but seriously me and my husband would easily spunk at least £200 a week on crap like Costa coffees, a new top, a meal out, haircuts, cinema trip, a birthday gift for someone etc. I’m not saying that to boast, we can all spend our money as we want eh? And I had 3 kids at the time so it’s real
bleeping easy to spend money
She had 2 kids and she said that £30 a week was for absolutely EVERYTHING non-essential. So if she came with us to soft play she‘d pay for her kids entrance (circa £15) and then bring water in bottles and her own snacks etc. Because that was half of her whole weeks budget (and she’d remind you of that fact relentlessly). I’d pay the entrance fee for me and my kids, then waste another £15 in the bloody cafe
I felt like clearly we were in very different financial situations but we were good friends, our kids got on brilliantly, and it never really got in the way yanno? She’d often want to do free activities, which I respected and I understood why. She was also open about the fact that she’d never contribute to a school trip if it was a voluntary donation, and certainly never gave anything for dress down days (feels like you’re constantly sending your kids in with £1 for summat in primary school!) as she reckoned staff just pocketed it.
Anyways, long story short, I always kinda felt a bit bad for her in a budgetary sense, and would routinely try to do small things to help but without being too overt about it. For example at soft play I buy us both a coffee from the cafe and shrug it off, or I’d buy her kids a snack if mine were getting one. Then we had a random conversation months later with other friends about the fact that her and her husband were moving from a 2 bedroom to a 4 bedroom house, and she was like
“Yeah we reckon we’ll be in a position to do it next year if we keep going how we have been. We save £1500 a month between our two salaries so we should have enough to not need to increase our mortgage when we move.”
I was speechless. She’d kept that quiet! She always made out she was skint, but really she was just keen on saving her £££. She was essentially just really
bleeping tight with money, and focussed on her own goals. I would never put my hand in my pocket for her after that. I figured yanno if you wanna squirrel away £30k over 2 years and live like a pauper that’s fine but at least be upfront about it. That’s Jack all over; I’d bet my mortgage on it!
TDLR Jack is always claiming poverty but she 100% has a sizeable savings account she refuses to acknowledge. Absofuckinglutely.