Jack Monroe #446 Egg rings in America WO-AH

[jenny2603]

She reacts to unexpected events like her partner's dumping her by getting pets, taking thirst shots whilst splayed on furniture and living her best life
I do not want that from my train driver thank space you.

I know, what if she got dumped via text whilst driving and then stops the train and starts wafting the unruly labia about. At this point I'm giving serious thought to petitioning parliament to have her banned from the railways altogether.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

She reacts to unexpected events like her partner's dumping her by getting pets, taking thirst shots whilst splayed on furniture and living her best life
I do not want that from my train driver thank space you.

Yeah, not sure I want to be on a train where the guard says good morning to the driver, prompting said driver to terrify a train full of innocent passengers by honking over the PA system in an earsplitting nasal shriek

“TOOT TOOT! muthafuckas, Y’ALL BETTER BUY Y’ALLSELF A HAT!!!”

 

[Foxvint]

"She's a feisty one" FML the divorced dad energy send eye bleachos

I genuinely think Only Fans is next. Nip slips and flap flashing for the easily pleased. She'll then say shes reduced to sex work again.

 

[Ooointitot]

View attachment 1840458

If you don't have a tin opener just use a knife and a mallet.

Or your gimlet eyes and abrasive personality.

 

[stunrw]

I know, what if she got dumped via text whilst driving and then stops the train and starts wafting the unruly labia about. At this point I'm giving serious thought to petitioning parliament to have her banned from the railways altogether.

She wouldnt need to worry about keeping her foot on the DSD. Dangle the old unruly labia on it

 

[Whiffy McBiffy]

Another Grifty Kitchen preview just landed!

View attachment 1840369

'Cathy

Its one of my favourites of her working class cosplay fantasies. A responsible job, skilled, well paid. She'd never get through the initial sift of applications, due to erratic/no work history, a well documented social media account of alcohol/medication abuse, no relevant experience at all, and no driving licence.

Jack wants it because:
a) Uniform
b) Unionised, so she can live out Billy Elliot strike fantasies
c) She believes the Daily Mail and thinks they get paid £100k a year

Agreed. Cleaning toilets or serving lunch to school kids isn't really cutting the mustard

 

[Pavlova]

Ah the due diligence of the press. And to think I used to give the Guardian my hard earned

What gets me is their perpetual begging and tying it into stories! I look at it sometimes and think you are all waaaaaay richer than me.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Didn't she write how she was thankful she was sober when SB had once an asthma attack as it meant she had the wherewithal to deal with it,, suggesting she had been drunk around him previously? That may not have been during the pov, but drunk in charge of a small child is v frowned upon.

There was the time when she had the (fake) black eye/concussion and it was blatantly obvious she’d done something to herself while pissed and she posted on Twitter that she’d been asleep on the sofa and SB came to check she was still breathing.

Which in itself implies more than a black eye as I’m not sure a child would associate a genuinely freak accident black eye with “need to check mum is breathing”

 

[Ooointitot]

Would not actually put it past her at this point.

She could have a lovely time throwing her “abusive“ exes under the bus though - they dragged her into their drug addled world it’s all their fault boo hoo poor me, such a victim, here‘s a selfie of me crying with my boobs in centre shot and oh noes, I accidentally included my PayPal, such tiny pixie but big fat thumb help me I need rescuing by a Neckbeard Knight

 

[Pavlova]

She reacts to unexpected events like her partner's dumping her by getting pets, taking thirst shots whilst splayed on furniture and living her best life
I do not want that from my train driver thank space you.

I do not need the mental image of Jacksie in a train drivers uniform, splayed across the control panel of the 4.55 Cardiff to Paddington...thankspaceyou.
Toot toot!

 

[Mallerenga]

View attachment 1840418God help me. That’s from the official Guardian front page article

Have we ever seen her wear any of those dresses in public though? The only one I can remember is the black one with the grayish-green skirt that she “wore” to the GFW awards (from home), and it's just two pictures of her sitting on one of her many sideboards. There are no pictures of her standing or actually showing what the dress looks like (I'm guessing it was an(other) impulse buy, it didn't really fit her and she was trying to hide it).

If I had any dresses that made me feel “alive and at home” I'd be wearing them quite often.

 

[Trauma Frotters]

View attachment 1840418God help me. That’s from the official Guardian front page article

The Guardian need to bloody well cop on. No excuse for it at this point.

 

[Ooointitot]

I know, what if she got dumped via text whilst driving and then stops the train and starts wafting the unruly labia about. At this point I'm giving serious thought to petitioning parliament to have her banned from the railways altogether.

She‘d drape herself over the concessions trolley and make the poor guard wheel her up and down the train while she howled and clawed at the seating as she passed and covered all the poor passengers in smeared mascara and self pity and shreds of greying bra strap.

 

[MM85]

Had a quick look for the skills which are necessary to be a train driver. Jack possesses none of them.

Particular highlights are “cheerful and approachable”, “excellent time management skills” and “the ability to remain focused over long periods of time”.

View attachment 1840445

I am a rail frau 🔺️ but not a driver, I can't see her small pixie brain being able to cope with the initial application, let alone the 6-18 month selection process.

I that she thinks she has anything about her that would make her suitable to work on the railway, let alone driving a train.
E2A: This is before you even think of the list of ailments she pretends to have

 

[RamblerOfLandandMouth]

Likewise!!!

And I bet you didn't need an angle grinder and a snow shovel to get into it

For the prosecco...? No! Just a simple samurai sword my friend...

 

[Captainmouse]

I know James and he won’t find anything else in my opinion and we have spoke at length regarding SS and other charities.

this is for two simple reasons, the first being that there is no regulatory issues with regards to JM and secondly that he or anyone else will not have any access to JMs HMRC tax records for SA, or PayPal and any other payment processor intermediary statement of accounts and finally nor JMs bank accounts or other personal financial information

So if patreon deducts vat, will HMRC wonder what income this vat relates to? And thus query where the corresponding tax is

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Didn't she write how she was thankful she was sober when SB had once an asthma attack as it meant she had the wherewithal to deal with it,, suggesting she had been drunk around him previously? That may not have been during the pov, but drunk in charge of a small child is v frowned upon.

That was in Jan 2019 when the Guardian gave her a (paid) platform to extol the life-changing impact of not drinking alcohol for a week.

My name is Jack Monroe, and I’m an alcoholic. But now I’m recovering…

The food writer, journalist and campaigner opens up about how alcohol took over her life once fame struck. This is her mea culpa

www.theguardian.com

.

@streby Jack was definitely drinking alcohol during The Poverty. See the APPALLING dating profile her “friends wrote for her” (ie that she wrote herself in her very distinctive and insufferable written “voice”). Extract here, link below-it’s from Jan 2013. Also talks in Dec 2012 about being gifted wine glasses for Christmas “by a friend” and owing “her friends” loads of rounds in the pub as they’d been paying her way. All now deleted of course. (If you go to the bottom in the link you can click on other months to see those months’ posts),

Scummy Single Mummy Does Dating: Echo & Gazette Column, 15th Jan 2013

The trouble with being professionally single is, well, it leaves you professionally single. When the greatest achievement on your CV is a double page spread in the national press for spending £10 a...

web.archive.org

HOWEVER, ALL THAT SAID, I do not for one moment believe that Jack Monroe has ever been an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise. I’m pretty sure that given her grim defensive/aggressive/rude/needy behaviour when supposedly deadly sober (DKL for eg) and all day every day online, she’s insufferably rude and aggressive and probably even more appalling when drunk.

I think she uses the “I was an alcoholic” (she’s multiple times slipped up and used the past tense) to excuse being a complete bleep (eg to Louisa and probably myriad other poor fuckers who have to deal with her IRL personally and professionally), and now uses “I’m in recovery” as a weapon/shield against any criticism of her unethical and often appalling still-ongoing behaviour and actions.

I also don’t doubt she goes to AA meetings, but only to centre and talk about herself incessantly at an audience who literally can’t get away from her.

 

[mince]

Maybe something like "Getting deliciously THRUST into the public eye by the media brought me into contact with cocaine

traumatically, turbulently TOSSED.

I genuinely think Only Fans is next. Nip slips and flap flashing for the easily pleased.

and, you know, fair play. It will keep her off the backs of innocents, keep her in the crap to which she is accustomed, and give neckbeards many happy endings. Not even being snarky here.

 

[Bugger13]

Will would see STRAIGHT through the grift. Simon, on the other hand...

Jay would dislike her. A bigger bullshitter than him.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Jay would dislike her. A bigger bullshitter than him.

I'd love to see them get into an Elevenerife-off...