Jack Monroe #446 Egg rings in America WO-AH

[MrsFawlty]

View attachment 1840418God help me. That’s from the official Guardian front page article

Makes both the Guardian and her look idiotic by using the most cringeworthy All About Me tribute quote on the front page. You couldn't make this stuff up. Fabulous.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Yeah and the furlough for Caroline-with-the-hands (and, possibly, others on her 'staff') might be worth looking into too. There was a lot of obfuscation going on there - Jack saying she paid out of her own pocket etc, and that she didn't qualify for certain things thanks to never doing her tax, but she did turn up on the official list of companies which claimed.

I think that was a mix of true/false:
- she claimed furlough for Carolin (true)
- she wasn't eligible for the self employed thing (true) but the reason is less clear - tax returns a couple of weeks late was the claim, but I wonder if they were filed at all? I don't know enough here about the distinction between self employed/ltd company thing - but I do know that some ltd company directors who gave themselves low salaries for tax purposes were stung by how the system was set up so she could've just been faced with a very low eligibility level.
- her income dropped (false -DKL, del Monte and helmanns would be much more than some speaking gigs)
- she had to buy her team laptops and kit to work from home (false - she doesn't have a team - Caroline would've used a laptop at her house, she could've just leant her that, surely?)

I genuinely don't believe she would be clever enough for the type of COVID fraud that did happen, I just think she told twitter a pack of lies for sympathy (plus can change!)

 

[Helatruralhome]

Its one of my favourites of her working class cosplay fantasies. A responsible job, skilled, well paid. She'd never get through the initial sift of applications, due to erratic/no work history, a well documented social media account of alcohol/medication abuse, no relevant experience at all, and no driving licence.

Jack wants it because:
a) Uniform
b) Unionised, so she can live out Billy Elliot strike fantasies
c) She believes the Daily Mail and thinks they get paid £100k a year

Lol i have a friend who's a train driver yet can't drive a car and is an absolute idiot- he started off as a ticket collector so I guess he's worked his way up but I wouldn't want to be travelling on the train he was driving- he used to ring me on his mobile when driving the train to play mobile games with him

Edited to add: just to reassure train users that he's no longer driving trains as of last year when he failed his fitness test due to one too many pies!

 

[HotesTilaire]

That he

That he is definitely going to do because the limited company is a matter of public record and also the government (due to EU and UK law) released information with regards to who got BBL and CBILS as a result of Covid I don’t think that HMRC released details on furlough though but I will come back to you on that but as we already know there is a massive discrepancy on what JM said with regards to staff she supposedly employs

In the media gallery is proof of On a Bootstrap LTD getting furlough payments, at a time there was only Jack working there.

 

[Captainmouse]

View attachment 1840418God help me. That’s from the official Guardian front page article

What is wrong with these people?

 

[TheCat'sMother]

I genuinely think Only Fans is next. Nip slips and flap flashing for the easily pleased. She'll then say shes reduced to sex work again.

I think much the same too.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I genuinely don't believe she would be clever enough for the type of COVID fraud that did happen

I doubt it was a massive fraud but I'm sure she's more than capable of telling a few ~white lies~ in order to squeeze as much as she could out of it.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

View attachment 1840418God help me. That’s from the official Guardian front page article

The Guardian have a very strange relationship with Jack, don't they?

That Guardian article is the thing that convinces me she's not an alcoholic in recovery or otherwise. People who drink the amounts of alcohol she claims she drank, over the length of time she claims, are NOT happy clappy, living their best life TOOT TOOT, after one week.

Nope, they would be feeling pretty weak and sick still, getting over the worst of the withdrawals and trying to build up some level of an appetite.

 

[Polly Morphus]

In the media gallery is proof of On a Bootstrap LTD getting furlough payments, at a time there was only Jack working there.

That's weird... and potentially of interest.
First of all she said she didn't get any SEISS money - that's actually true (!) I think because she would have had to file her personal/sole trader accounts (not the ltd. company ones) for at least two years before.
Now, her company was listed as getting furlough money... company report for last filing says two employees...one being Jack and the other being Caroline. Which means that she was lying about paying Caroline from her own pocket during lockdown. If she got furlough money for the two cited employees, then she got money for herself as well as for Caroline.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

In the media gallery is proof of On a Bootstrap LTD getting furlough payments, at a time there was only Jack working there.

Oooh. That shut me up. I knew she claimed furlough but was Caroline not an employee?

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

duck me, that HAS to be the Guardian throwing shade at “psephologist” Jack and her “weird little misshapen body”, surely? They make her sound a right idiotic twit.

If not, the Guardian are dimwitted idiots too.

Bib- is the actual reason.
It’s so offensive and lazy to include quotes from her when there are probably loads of people actually close to Viv to take tribute from.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oooh. That shut me up. I knew she claimed furlough but was Caroline not an employee?

She’s said later in tweets that Cath/Caroline jumped ship in December IIRC

 

[Billing1717]

Train driver gets me every time

Has she got the licence and done the training?

The train driver thing always brings me out of my lurking lair. 'Train driving work'. Does she think they turn up outside the station everyday, jostling to be called for work, like dockworkers.

Thoroughly enjoying last few threads canal, thanks for the laughs x

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

That Guardian article is the thing that convinces me she's not an alcoholic in recovery or otherwise. People who drink the amounts of alcohol she claims she drank, over the length of time she claims, are NOT happy clappy, living their best life TOOT TOOT, after one week.

THIS

Spoiler: OT Alcoholic chat

sorry to be a broken record, she claims to have been drinking 200 units a week. They’ve just dried my Dad out in hospital after he’d been drinking 190 a week. After two he was still on Librium and having delirium. The shakes are still there 6 weeks in and he’s been left with brain damage. It isn’t just a bit of a hangover that goes after a day or two. All he wants is wine. He’s being violent towards my mum when she won’t bring it when she visits. She’s terrified of him. And this little cosplaying moron gets a guardian column out of it

 

[Wood Spite]

I have a brain worm about what word she was trying for with "psephologist".

Jack, if you're reading this (and we know you are, you ninny) please send explainios.

 

[WolfIrish]

I’m sorry, but is this a thing? Why is it a thing?
This sounds abhorrent.
Am I just a very sheltered Frau? The thought of these textures and flavours combined makes me feel very weird.

Spoiler: PEAR AND BACON PORRIDGE

This is one of my son's favourite breakfasts; it feels super luxurious but it's really cheap and simple! If you can't spare the milk you can make it with all water instead, just stir it well to release the creamy starches from the oats and it'll be absolutely grand. If bacon isn't your thing, salted peanuts or other nuts make for a fine equivalent.

SERVES 2

100g porridge oats
300ml milk, or your fave equivalent
300ml water
1/2 x 415g tin of pears, plus the juice
50g cooking bacon or other bacon
1 tbsp oil or fat
1 tbsp sugar (optional)
a pinch of ground cinnamon (optional)

Measure the porridge oats into a small saucepan and add the milk and water Strain your pears, reserving the juice or syrup from the tin, and pour this into the porridge pan. Place on a high heat on the smallest hob ring for a few minutes until it comes to the boil, then reduce the heat right down to a simmer for 10-12 minutes, stirring intermittently to prevent the oats catching and burning on the bottom of the pan.

Dice the pears and roughly chop your bacon, then toss both into a frying pan, along with the oil, and also the sugar and cinnamon, if using. Place on a high heat on a large hob ring to sear and caramelize, which should take 4-5 minutes.

Serve the porridge hot with the pears and bacon (or nuts!) scattered on top.

TO KEEP: Leftovers can be stored in the fridge and used within 2 days, but they will thicken a considerable amount due to the starches in the oats, so thin any leftover mixture well before refrigerating. Warm through in the microwave or on the hob and serve piping hot.

 

[stunrw]

I’m sorry, but is this a thing? Why is it a thing?
This sounds abhorrent.
Am I just a very sheltered Frau? The thought of these textures and flavours combined makes me feel very weird.

The only answer:

 

[jenny2603]

I’m sorry, but is this a thing? Why is it a thing?
This sounds abhorrent.
Am I just a very sheltered Frau? The thought of these textures and flavours combined makes me feel very weird.

I'm a bit weird about porridge at the best of times (I will hand in my Scot badge to the Chief Jock immediately) but that just sounds grim. The idea of the leftovers is giving the actual heave. Why does she have to turn everything into a horrid dogs breakfast? Just have a bacon roll and some porridge with sugar and cinnamon and eat the pears as a snack later in the morning.

 

[stunrw]

I'm a bit weird about porridge at the best of times (I will hand in my Scot badge to the Chief Jock immediately) but that just sounds grim. The idea of the leftovers is giving the actual heave. Why does she have to turn everything into a horrid dogs breakfast? Just have a bacon roll and some porridge with sugar and cinnamon and eat the pears as a snack later in the morning.

If I was served that I would understand why my labrador licks his own testicles

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Here’s a GREAT example from this very week of what a tricksy manipulative fucker Jack is. Spoilering cos long with screenies.

Apols for any typos, I’m typing on my phone and I’m PERPENDICULAR EXHAUSTED.

Spoiler

So the Twitter spat the other day where she claimed only to share “family anecdotes” about her son? There was a whole thread with her stans being well, her stans, and squigs claiming that yes, she does put stuff out there about her child (and posting stuff she’s put out there- including the chore chart that’s still on Insta ) and Jack wading back in.

ANYWAY… a squig posted this as an example of something she’s put out there about her son (note that the squig gave her child the courtesy she did not and has ensured his face is covered).

This is Jack’s response.

Except that’s not the whole truth. The PICTURE is 10 years old, yes. But the screenshot itself and the text is actually from Potatoes which she wrote and posted in July 2020 on the 8th anniversary of Hunger Hurts as one of her increasingly ludicrous, hyperbolic and lie-filled anniversary woe is me posts. She then REPOSTED it later than that after her website crashed and the post was lost.

Here’s the link to Potatoes (TW suicide and lots of other triggering language)

You Don’t Batch Cook When You’re Suicidal | JACK MONROE

than oven chips. It disappeared from my site when it crashed late last year, but for posterity I have reposted it in its unedited entirety]

cookingonabootstrap.com

EDIT: Note that the pic and text above is towards the bottom. It looks to me as if the pic is gone, but jenny numnums says it still shows up for her, just takes a while to download. You can see where the text is that matches the above tho and where that pic came from, even if you can’t see the pic.

Note also that Potatoes is the (in)famous post in which she includes photos of all her poverty stricken meals back in 2013 as “what she was eating back then” conveniently failing to mention it was “what she was eating as part of the live below the (poverty) line 5 days on £5 sponsored challenge” linky link to the pics below for anyone who wants to play SNAP! with the food pics on Potatoes, (before she deletes these too)

Live Below The Line 2013 – In Pictures

Live Below The Line 2013: Take Two In Pictures. It’s not too late to sponsor me or donate, at Jack Monroe. Twitter: @MsJackMonroe

cookingonabootstrap.com