Holy gruel! 🫣Tender ones, I fear I am beyond the help of even four therapists on speed dial. Tonight, I made the banana peel pancakes & there is insufficient mind bleach to unsee the things I witnessed tonight in my own little sanctuary I have previously called home. Even the squabbling cats are too traumatised to keep up their feline warfare.
Spoiler alert; I made this exactly as per the recipe until the very end when I got a bit agitated by what was going on in my own kitchen… Also, I have no idea how to do the spoiler alert stuff so apologies for dragging unsuspecting victims to join my complete mental breakdown & very recent serious concussion (as in last hour from banging head against a convenient wall as the gloop gradually turned beige & even more unappetising)
1) Recipe
2) Finely sliced bananas (with skin as she only retrospectively informs the reader to finely chop the skin separately
3) Pop banana slices in a bowl with the milk & oil
4) Beat well with the tines (prongs) of a fork. Not entirely sure how you would beat it with anything else, like the handle, but I’m just a simpleton in the kitchen c/w our Jackie
5) Oh, I was meant to realise I should have peeled the bananas firstOh well, lucky I’ve got one of them bullet gadgets that you so helpfully suggest after I’ve mashed banana peel until my crumbly wrists disintegrated. I digress
6) Add flour & beat well to combine to a thick smooth batten (stet)
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Jack Monroe #445 A criminal, liar, fraud, grifter and all round heartless asshole
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And then what happened???????? Pray continue!Tender ones, I fear I am beyond the help of even four therapists on speed dial. Tonight, I made the banana peel pancakes & there is insufficient mind bleach to unsee the things I witnessed tonight in my own little sanctuary I have previously called home. Even the squabbling cats are too traumatised to keep up their feline warfare.
Spoiler alert; I made this exactly as per the recipe until the very end when I got a bit agitated by what was going on in my own kitchen… Also, I have no idea how to do the spoiler alert stuff so apologies for dragging unsuspecting victims to join my complete mental breakdown & very recent serious concussion (as in last hour from banging head against a convenient wall as the gloop gradually turned beige & even more unappetising)
1) Recipe
2) Finely sliced bananas (with skin as she only retrospectively informs the reader to finely chop the skin separately
3) Pop banana slices in a bowl with the milk & oil
4) Beat well with the tines (prongs) of a fork. Not entirely sure how you would beat it with anything else, like the handle, but I’m just a simpleton in the kitchen c/w our Jackie
5) Oh, I was meant to realise I should have peeled the bananas first
6) Add flour & beat well to combine to a thick smooth batten (stet)
View attachment 1838917View attachment 1838918View attachment 1838925View attachment 1838929View attachment 1838933View attachment 1838936
♡Viv just for her insistence on being herself. Reminded me of that epic spat between her and Jarman over Jubilee
Ahh, I no longer visit Mumsnet. I do like molke although I'm not a rabid fan like some on the book of face. They do have excellent customer service.
I wonder how much in Tips Jack has made from retweeting that tit thesis on the difference between her shite and 30p Lee’s shite?
[
It’s almost as if she knows nothing about addiction and the theories surrounding it.
It isn’t just about the trauma, it’s about the bottles acting as potential cues.
It’s almost as if she knows nothing about addiction and the theories surrounding it.
RIP. Yes, at least her family was with her as it should be when a dearly loved family member passes away.
I'm just hoping Jack doesn't do the same thing as she did when Kate Spade passed away, just photograph consumer goods from her brand.
Edited to add that I'd forgotten it was another incident of noting having bought one bag for every book deal. So a real merail at a really sad time where a person's life was cut short.
I'm watching Bridesmaids. Thought it wasn't my kinda thing but it's so funny. And right now, the Jacki gif is on:
Best and Worst are interchangeable, tender one. And Yes, yes it was indeed that one. (Confirmed)
Even the ingredients and instructions are grim, and not just because most of them should be nowhere near a Carbonaaaraa in the first place
Wait I thought we forensically established that a basic can opener was 50p four years after that quote?
Doing a bit of grunking and seen a couple more examples of Jackanory's complete misunderstanding of food and flavours. She claims that distilled malt vinegar works in place of other "light coloured vinegars". Trying to substitute malt vinegar for white wine or cider vinegar will result in inedible, vinegar-flavoured food. If she actually knew what she was doing, she would suggest lemon juice as a vinegar substitute. Or point out that cider vinegar is quite cheap and nice.
My favourite film ever
Shut the duck up, you know nothing little dick. Go read a bleeping book. (Jack not Marms obvs)
ETA: Also learn a word that isn't deliciously.
Parallelogram. Psephologist.
Tomato. Potato.
whatevs.
Tomato. Potato.
whatevs.
<blinks>
Can we go back to the part about a personal invitation to drive a tank onto David Cameron's lawn?
September 2015:
www.theguardian.com
Can we go back to the part about a personal invitation to drive a tank onto David Cameron's lawn?
September 2015:
Vivienne Westwood drives tank to Cameron's home in fracking protest
Designer drives military vehicle through Witney to Chadlington, Oxfordshire, to carry out a fake ‘chemical attack’
www.theguardian.com
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Having partaken of her vinegar “cocktails” for the slopalong (I did the recommended “white” amongst others), I can attest that Jack thinks all vinegars (and also soda water, tonic water and sparkling water) are interchangeable. They’re interchangeably repulsive in fizzy water, I’ll give you that much.
Ironically, malt was the best one I tried- and by that I only mean malt was the least like drinking paint stripper.
V&T, or Vinegar & Tonic, 5p. It’s Dry January everyone!
Hello and welcome to the new year, everyone! As a new year has rolled in, one of my resolutions was to try to be a little healthier – starting with Dry January, or no booze for a month! Seeing we s…
cookingonabootstrap.com
Sorry from the past: how much is Jack’s collection worth now
Of course this little weasel had to make it all about her, she'll be the most upsettiest upset person to be upset about this. What a c*nt Monroe is.
It's so overwrought and self-centred that I just know she wrote it and yet 'thank you' is two words. Really makes you think.
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