Jack Monroe #428 Hold me closer, tiny grifter

[People-huv-tae-know]

Nah, probably just trying to glom off someone else’s personality again.

She probably thought gluing flowers to her headphones made her a bone fide hippie.

 

[Cascara]

I knew there was one before

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The ‘tiny whisky bottles’ are from a Master of Malts advent calendar, they start about £150 upwards. Much poor, much poverty, much all from skips so poor.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Dogs not allowed upstairs, but hogs the bed.

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She's performatively sleeping on a sofa downstairs to practice for the big hecking down size dear , dont forget. The lying bleeping

 

[CarmenGhia]

Has she given up on the pretence that the crappy bungalow is actually a bungalow, or just forgotten?

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Does Jack understand that everything written about her that 1) she doesn't like or 2) isn't entirely accurate doesn't necessarily rise to the level of libel? Damn, gurl, you got lucky once. Don't tempt Dame Justice to smack your ass down.


If the man is keeping you down, then you don't ever have to examine the depths of your own soul for flaws. As for reading adult books, I turn to A Fish Called Wanda:
Wanda: But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto: [superior smile] Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it.

My favorite line from that is 'duck off pigs', works on grifters too.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Idk if this is a niche reference but when you’re going through Rightmove a lot of properties are probate or PoA and have the expected tell tell signs, but then some of them have this weird creepy off vibe and it’s all a bit strange cos there’s so much stuff so someone’s living here but also at the same time surely no one could actually live here with such visible dilapidation then you scroll down to the copy and it’s an auction only investment opportunity because of severe structural problems and the house comes with all the tit tatty furniture to boot? It’s giving urban explorer forums content.

Omg sorry to quote self but have found the perfect example to illustrate this vibe -

Check out this 3 bedroom detached house for sale on Rightmove

3 bedroom detached house for sale in Lot 1 - Smithy House Farm, Wincle, Macclefield, Cheshire, SK11 0QE, SK11 for £575,000. Marketed by Whittaker and Biggs, Leek

www.rightmove.co.uk

Like grey gardens vibes? Just creepy af.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Spoiler: Who plays me?

I don't look like anyone famous, the closest I can get is a drunk bloke telling me I looked like Angelina Jolie in Gone in 60 seconds. Impressive beer goggles, my dude.

I assumed Susan would stand in for you in shadow. And Justin Trudeau as voice over, or Celine Dion whoever is available

 

[Everytown]

That bookcase is my aneurysm. What philistine sorts their books by cover colour? Just helped my dear SiL shelve 20 of about 40 boxes of books into her new house today, we shelved them by author, subject, read, to read. Anything but colour!

Absolutely. Fiction by author, then non-fiction by subject, each sorted by size. Separate bookcase for H.G. Wells, as he's a mixture of fiction, non-fiction, and biographies and critical works, etc. relating to him. Mrs Everytown thinks it's a mess, but I can usually locate any given book in seconds.

Sorting by spine colour is for pubs, furniture stores, and photo-shoots.

 

[auntylil]

I think the pis is of her. She is an smol pixie after all.

I do like your spelling mistake or auto, dearest - it's so fitting!

I can't get over all the gaudy fake flowers stuck all over that poor tree. I wonder what it did to deserve that? It looks like Oscar the Grouch has vomited his smol pixie slop trash can dinner all over it!

 

[Lucky Escape]

Omg sorry to quote self but have found the perfect example to illustrate this vibe -

Check out this 3 bedroom detached house for sale on Rightmove

3 bedroom detached house for sale in Lot 1 - Smithy House Farm, Wincle, Macclefield, Cheshire, SK11 0QE, SK11 for £575,000. Marketed by Whittaker and Biggs, Leek

www.rightmove.co.uk

Like grey gardens vibes? Just creepy af.

Jack's dream kitchen!

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Omg sorry to quote self but have found the perfect example to illustrate this vibe -

Check out this 3 bedroom detached house for sale on Rightmove

3 bedroom detached house for sale in Lot 1 - Smithy House Farm, Wincle, Macclefield, Cheshire, SK11 0QE, SK11 for £575,000. Marketed by Whittaker and Biggs, Leek

www.rightmove.co.uk

Like grey gardens vibes? Just creepy af.

I would looove to buy and renovate this place. In my head anyway.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Omg sorry to quote self but have found the perfect example to illustrate this vibe -

Check out this 3 bedroom detached house for sale on Rightmove

3 bedroom detached house for sale in Lot 1 - Smithy House Farm, Wincle, Macclefield, Cheshire, SK11 0QE, SK11 for £575,000. Marketed by Whittaker and Biggs, Leek

www.rightmove.co.uk

Like grey gardens vibes? Just creepy af.

Omg it's frozen in time like some of those historical old houses that urban explorers film.

 

[Everytown]

Omg sorry to quote self but have found the perfect example to illustrate this vibe -

Check out this 3 bedroom detached house for sale on Rightmove

3 bedroom detached house for sale in Lot 1 - Smithy House Farm, Wincle, Macclefield, Cheshire, SK11 0QE, SK11 for £575,000. Marketed by Whittaker and Biggs, Leek

www.rightmove.co.uk

Like grey gardens vibes? Just creepy af.

The Farmhouse That Time Forgot. The fact that the armchairs in the kitchen(!) are facing the cooker and the range, rather than the <squints> portable TV/VHS combi in the window sill! Also well-impressed with the size of that clothes airing rail.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I would looove to buy and renovate this place. In my head anyway.

The garden is amazing, with a huge space like that I could put an eco pool in for my kids and their friends, erect a play park, grow even more veg and have a rabbit sanctuary.

 

[DragonBoy]

Adding Cujo and Bag of Bones

And unless someone else has recommended, Four Past Midnight

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Omg it's frozen in time like some of those historical old houses that urban explorers film.

Sorry to have completely derailed the thread mods lol the point was that Jack’s interiors don’t look far off those you see in literally unmortgageable unlived in creepy af houses.

 

[Dogmuck]

Not caught up as just come in from dinner out and thank the lord Jack has updated her days sober. Thankyou for all that you do Jack.

 

[Smol Pixel]

And unless someone else has recommended, Four Past Midnight

That was the first one I read at 12 or 13 and The Langoliers has stayed as one of my faves ever since

 

[Valiofthedolls]

She did actually tweet to Laurie Penny that content was named after her. I'm sure she referred to her as a twin or some such slushy guff.

With the horrible slop she serves up, I bet there’s a lot of those going on at Jack’s 14 person dinner parties.

 

[Snotbuster]

Really? I regularly announce on social media that I’m was ‘GIFTED AND TALENTED, DON’CHA KNOW?!’ It forms a major part of my 37 year old identity! My ability to read words on a page is still far, far superior to the average human’s

It must be so tough to peak as a 7-year-old. Poor Jack.