Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[Cucumberthunder]

She’s also apparently notorious in the Southend local charities community for promising things and not delivering, throwing her weight around, etc.

This is the stuff I want to hear more about, I'd love some local to spill the specifics. I can see why a charity wouldn't, but it would be delicious tea

 

[LadyGarden]

Re the cutlery thing...and this might be an unfair reach, but SB was what 3 or 4 at the time.

He was 5, Leggy's daughter was 4.

 

[OwlChampagne]

From memory, she’s suffered from:-

- Benign tumours on her back

...does she mean moles?

 

[FitiverMin]

This is the stuff I want to hear more about, I'd love some local to spill the specifics. I can see why a charity wouldn't, but it would be delicious tea

This. Small charities can smell a grifter several miles away. Their resources are sparse compared to large organisations (TT cough cough) and they have no time for egotistical bullshit. Her card would have been called immediately.

 

[Mme Coco]

A gritty memoir commission might work. I think she’s lost the budget cook spot, there’s too many other, better people in that space now.

It’s recently occurred to me that whatever happens to Jack next and no matter how badly the financial mess of her own making pans out, she will try and find a way to monetise it. Her primary addiction, and arguably the only life skill she has, is the manufacture of drama-driven attention which social media mirrors back to her and I’d include Tattle in that. Although narcs prefer positive attention, their greatest fear is obscurity. She’s identical to Katie Hopkins in this respect, Jack’s going nowhere.

 

[jenny2603]

She could “do a Matthew Perry” for next year’s Christmas market biographies.

She'd never write it in a year but I do think a ghost written memoir about her lying and various addiction issues or one co-written with a psychologist or similar expert is her only hope of a niche she can earn a living in. It would be difficult for anyone but to someone as vain and delusional as Jack getting up the courage to do it would be near impossible. She'd probably end up quite enjoying it though, she could be wheeled out as a poor special little pixie and praised for her bravery in coming out.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Hmmm you may be onto something there

Spoiler

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Dear Lord... Makes for grim reading, doesn't it.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Very interesting. I wonder what will become of her then. Cos she's too special for a 9-5. Didn't someone on here say they outrightly offered her a job when she was claiming to eat sponges or whatever. I think she'll embrace The Pov Years part 2 hoping for a gritty memoir commission. She seems to think of herself as a writer/commentator more than a cook. She'll abandon the slops but I can't see her ever abandoning her broadcaster pretentions (I lolled writing broadcaster). Your word not mine jack pal

I guess the alternative would be to follow the cooking path - perhaps by doing a level 2/3 NVQ Professional Cookery course, followed a diploma from a culinary school, with a view to opening her own restaurant. I could just about see how that might work - perhaps concentrating on comfort food with some of the unusual twists she loves to throw in. And she'd have the media & cheffy contacts to make a go of it at least to start with, and could easily have afforded to do it she'd been more careful with her money.

But, as you say, she doesn't actually seem to be all that interested in food, so I doubt it could actually work in reality.

 

[ElbiePickle]

First, the trolls came for my Patreon, and I did not speak out, because I did not work for my Patreon
Then they came for my tip jar, and I did not speak out, because I did not work for my tip jar
Then they came for my firefighter employment history, and I did not speak out, because I did not work as a firefighter
They’re coming for my lies, my misrepresentations, my embellishments, the cosplaying too
By the time the trolls are shown to be true, who will be left to endorse my grift? You?

That is perfection dear heart!

I searched "jack monroe" on the bird app last night and refreshed the 'top' posts a few times to see what came up.... SO MANY people calling her out, either about the big things, or just to nitpick anything she says, or simply taking the piss. It's fascinating to see the tide turning. I joined here just after Molly's first post, I think, time becomes meaningless in the Jackoverse... but there's been such a huge shift, especially in the last couple of weeks. Almost no blue-tick presence, very reduced interaction with most things she posts, relentless questioning (NOT BULLYING!).

Molly is doing such a spectacular job of documenting her lies, esp with the new accessible serialised blog - I heard mention of The Sloppies a while back - Is there an Honourary Frau award, or a Hero of the Year award?! I LOVE how calm and patient she is in all her interactions, just quietly laying out the facts - the exact opposite of Ms Hyperbole Monroe.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Her problem, or rather one of her problems is that she wants to be a saviour whereas anyone with any kind of life experience will know that scenario is fantasy bollocks. It's like when she learns a fact and they goes trumpeting about it like a child. A few months back she was burbling about Hansard on Twitter as if no journalist had thought to look at it before or when she was banging on about looking at MPs financial interests as if there isn't a register of interests that any journalist can access. One of thre three therapists she has on speed dial should really have a word about main character syndrome.

100% agree with this. It’s why it really bothers me that she describes herself as a campaigner. Effective campaigning is usually a collective effort, and Jack’s main character syndrome gets in the way of her understanding that.

Just had a thought about her possible memoir (which is still showing on Amazon with a release date of September 2023). Imagine if someone brought out an unauthorised Jack biography before she had the chance to release her own. I know realistically there wouldn’t be enough of an interest to make it worthwhile though.

 

[Lazarus]

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This has really tickled me today, the idea of Mary Portas as ultimate arbiter of whether someone can cook, combined with the certainty that Jack is almost certainly reading the Slopalong thread!

I recall, a few months ago, sharing a screenshot from Jack’s Facebook. It was an old post and Mary Portas had commented on it. Her comment was: chapeau! I assume this was the first planting of that particular seed for Jack.

 

[Lucky Escape]

She really wants to be a political commentator. The trouble is, she has no understanding of politics beyond ‘people will DIE and Tories are scum’ ranting. There are plenty of experts with years of education in the finer details of politics who deserve a platform. Self obsessed, shouty Jack seems to think she’s special and so doesn’t need to contribute anything except crap puns, emotive ranting & jangling her zippy earrings.

Sure, but think of someone like Polly Toynbee. By her own account, she's "never claimed to be an intellectual", has no particular knowledge or insight to offer, and makes the same glaring errors in her reasoning over and over and over again - yet she still manages to pull in six figures for her Guardian column. Jack could fill that role easily, if only she had a famous uncle and well-connected father.

 

[jenny2603]

100% agree with this. It’s why it really bothers me that she describes herself as a campaigner. Effective campaigning is usually a collective effort, and Jack’s main character syndrome gets in the way of her understanding that.

Just had a thought about her possible memoir (which is still showing on Amazon with a release date of September 2023). Imagine if someone brought out an unauthorised Jack biography before she had the chance to release her own. I know realistically there wouldn’t be enough of an interest to make it worthwhile though.

Someone could probably turn a coin or two doing it as a kindle only self published thing if they priced it low and included all the scandal. I'd buy it but then I'd probably buy one that just called Jack an hole in a variety of creative ways.

 

[Bugger13]

I guess the alternative would be to follow the cooking path - perhaps by doing a level 2/3 NVQ Professional Cookery course, followed a diploma from a culinary school, with a view to opening her own restaurant. I could just about see how that might work - perhaps concentrating on comfort food with some of the unusual twists she loves to throw in. And she'd have the media & cheffy contacts to make a go of it at least to start with, and could easily have afforded to do it she'd been more careful with her money.

But, as you say, she doesn't actually seem to be all that interested in food, so I doubt it could actually work in reality.

Haha, imagine Jack in a denim boiler suit pissing around putting bizarre cutlery on tables and test tubes of flowers alongside a squeezy banana containing her rank homemade ketchup on all the tables. Wall mounted hot water urn, a fag behind her ear (or looped through the Tiffany’s) and a piano in the corner for lock-ins with Jack warbling Park Life after hours. A menu of puns & descriptions of her back story (my strength & stay during my poverty days was this bean mash). A few dickheads would turn up for the first week but the utter chaos and tit food would soon turn everyone off.
I really wish Jack would do this & expose herself. Nigella and Jay fully deserve to have to eat her crap and realise just what they’ve been promoting.

Someone could probably turn a coin or two doing it as a kindle only self published thing if they priced it low and included all the scandal. I'd buy it but then I'd probably buy one that just called Jack an hole in a variety of creative ways.

I often think that a book using these threads would be a brilliant idea. Laying out Jack’s nonsense alongside the often hilarious comments here.

 

[jenny2603]

Haha, imagine Jack in a denim boiler suit pissing around putting bizarre cutlery on tables and test tubes of flowers alongside a squeezy banana containing her rank homemade ketchup on all the tables. Wall mounted hot water urn, a fag behind her ear (or looped through the Tiffany’s) and a piano in the corner for lock-ins with Jack warbling Park Life after hours. A menu of puns & descriptions of her back story (my strength & stay during my poverty days was this bean mash). A few dickheads would turn up for the first week but the utter chaos and tit food would soon turn everyone off.
I really wish Jack would do this & expose herself. Nigella and Jay fully deserve to have to eat her crap and realise just what they’ve been promoting.


I often think that a book using these threads would be a brilliant idea. Laying out Jack’s nonsense alongside the often hilarious comments here.

There was to be a way to trick the posh left Jack stans into eating her slop for say a month. A live below the line type thing, where they can only cook from Tin Can Cook or something along those lines.

 

[DoritoTamales]

It’s recently occurred to me that whatever happens to Jack next and no matter how badly the financial mess of her own making pans out, she will try and find a way to monetise it. Her primary addiction, and arguably the only life skill she has, is the manufacture of drama-driven attention which social media mirrors back to her and I’d include Tattle in that. Although narcs prefer positive attention, their greatest fear is obscurity. She’s identical to Katie Hopkins in this respect, Jack’s going nowhere.

Basically are we saying she’s becoming the lying, shopaholic version of Gerald Ratner, the man who killed his family jewellery firm stone dead after being quoted on the front page of The Sun calling the things they sold ‘crap’ and now is an inspirational/motivational business speaker going to conferences where he talks about his rise and fall as a cautionary tale for others?

There would be something deliciously ironic about THAT being how she had to fund the Cotswolds in the end.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I guess the alternative would be to follow the cooking path - perhaps by doing a level 2/3 NVQ Professional Cookery course, followed a diploma from a culinary school, with a view to opening her own restaurant. I could just about see how that might work - perhaps concentrating on comfort food with some of the unusual twists she loves to throw in. And she'd have the media & cheffy contacts to make a go of it at least to start with, and could easily have afforded to do it she'd been more careful with her money.

But, as you say, she doesn't actually seem to be all that interested in food, so I doubt it could actually work in reality.

She both far too much of a know it and a lazy bugger to get any qualifications. Can you imagine her in an educational setting being taught something like knife skills? First off she’d be all “I’m a professional, I’ve cooked for Mary Portas, this is beneath me!” Then when she bolloxed up filleting a fish or whatever it’d be “I can’t be expected to do this, I’m DISABLED! My hands are ouchy and crumbling to dust!”. She’d be an absolute bloody nightmare to teach.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

[

This is the stuff I want to hear more about, I'd love some local to spill the specifics. I can see why a charity wouldn't, but it would be delicious tea

There’s bullying and manipulation of individuals in the voluntary sector too, but AFAIK they’ve chosen to either put it behind them (for their own sakes, not hers - in one of the tales I was told, she left someone pretty much wrecked after a personal relationship went sour, so it would be fair enough for that person not to want to revisit it all) or they see her flying monkeys and don’t want any of that, thanks. Everyone knows what she is, which is why I was pretty gobsmacked at Southend foodbank squig superficially legitimising her the other week.

 

[jenny2603]

She both far too much of a know it and a lazy bugger to get any qualifications. Can you imagine her in an educational setting being taught something like knife skills? First off she’d be all “I’m a professional, I’ve cooked for Mary Portas, this is beneath me!” Then when she bolloxed up filleting a fish or whatever it’d be “I can’t be expected to do this, I’m DISABLED! My hands are ouchy and crumbling to dust!”. She’d be an absolute bloody nightmare to teach.

If by some miracle she did manage to pass such a course, she'd be droning on about how a tutor called her a bleep and told her to shut her legs while the class chanted "NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING" but she defied the odds and passed in the top 10% in the whole of the world and everyone clapped and cheered. Then we'd get weird pictures of her in bed with her certificates.

 

[Lucky Escape]

She both far too much of a know it and a lazy bugger to get any qualifications. Can you imagine her in an educational setting being taught something like knife skills? First off she’d be all “I’m a professional, I’ve cooked for Mary Portas, this is beneath me!” Then when she bolloxed up filleting a fish or whatever it’d be “I can’t be expected to do this, I’m DISABLED! My hands are ouchy and crumbling to dust!”. She’d be an absolute bloody nightmare to teach.

Of course, if Jack were ever to deign to go anywhere near a cookery school, it would only be to give an extra-special guest lecture: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...y-the-same-author.30871/page-42#post-10298000