Jack Monroe #324 How many times can one newspaper publish what is essentially the same bloody piece by the same author

[Sideboard Bob]

(we miss you Silver)

 

[trueblue222]

She really is a lonely lil pixie.

If you didn't know what a bleep she is, you'd feel sorry for her. It's obvious that she has no irl friends and SB chooses to keep away now. She has the Hellscape though and her hoards of tat. Trying to portray how happy she is when she's clearly miserable.

To be fair I suppose lots of people go through lonely spells. I know I have for many different reasons. There's nothing wrong with that.

However she's in the position where she could make pals. She's got a decent life even though she's a clown. She has money and a half decent media presence. She just needs to get the duck off twitter.

Plenty of opportunities. I still maintain that she fucked it when Louisa left and that's that

 

[Mallerenga]

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Spoiler: TW self harm and Jack's BS

This from the same woman who hinted that she has two full tattoo sleeves to cover SH scars in her arms (see the stolen scalpel saga).

 

[Jelly Bean]

Omg I am so tempted to tweet her a made up twee cook book just so she can say 'yep love it'.
I'm thinking a Cypriot/Irish mashup.
'Ripe Figs and Boxty in my Pocket: a culinary journey from the foothills of the Troodos Mountains to Bantry Bay' by Philomena Papadopoulos.
Sounds like a banger to me.

 

[trueblue222]

Omg I am so tempted to tweet her a made up twee cook book just so she can say 'yep love it'.
I'm thinking a Cypriot/Irish mashup.
'Ripe Figs and Boxty in my Pocket: a culinary journey from the foothills of the Troodos Mountains to Bantry Bay' by Philomena Papadopoulos.
Sounds like a banger to me.

I'd call it vine leaves with champ with a wee bit of haggis on top as she thinks she's so Scottish every now and then

Also. You would think she would have given a nod to the hotel she stayed in in Scotland the other night but no. Selfish miserable twit as per

 

[Missmopps]

Not only that but she got declined for a WiFi contract in front of OH then the entire of Southend turned into that scene from Quasimodo where he’s pelted with tomatoes*

*that whole movie is really awful!!

Well that WiFi signal has so come from somewhere, either she knows the password to the exclusive TENNIS club next door and is piggy backing off them out of sheer spite (how dare those RICH people afford their own internet!!) or she has hacked into next door unsecured LANDLADIES WIFI network as a mini rebellion FU or, in fact, has her own. What is it Jackie?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oh god, I knew it made me cringe but didn't clock the common denominator. How disgusting.

I thought we low key referred to Chris Giles of the FT as Chris Mate toner, break they cycle as it were.its her, not us.

107 year old Hettie was more effective than Jackie

Just when you think you’ve heard every single utterance of the Weetabix and tap water sob story, she has another one up her sleeve. So sad, so nasal. Plus ca change, chapeau!

Wasn’t the weetabix water from Zadie Smith’s White Teeth? The dad was hoarding all the cash to build a mosque back home

 

[Flivver]

Wasn’t about in the 70s so forgive me for ignorance it’s not malice - but we’re in a very different world now, surely? The British economy was very different, largely production / ergo physical labour based (aka menial to Jack) with high paid jobs limited to a small number of industries largely centralised in London. Things have changed massively, tech has been such an equaliser even in terms of improved transport connectivity of literal tech jobs or remote working in terms of giving non-elite bg people access to well paid work!

Awfully gauche dahlings as I know it’s a prestige/MC lifestyle thing not a ROI thing but we’re not from money so I modelled this after viewing one of Jacqui’s coveted schools (atrocious btw - not my tit was husband’s) and the opportunity cost of that money in fees vs cash savings would necessitate the toddler earning 2.8 times more over her lifetime (these are truly fag packet calculations pls don’t put faith in these). And that is “only” for a normal young persons standard of living owning a 2 bed flat in a city centre (so a privileged young person lol), that’s not including the orangery or a year’s mat leave etc!! And if you have the privilege of that spare cash surely you’d sooner spend it so that your child doesn’t need the stress of averaging earnings of >£100k pa for their entire working life, or at the very least their 30 year mortgage term? The housing market is so fucked now that it’ll be these schools’ biggest competitor. Jackie doesn’t know she’s born as she has the immense privilege of inheriting at least part of the empire, her dad may not have spent out on school fees but he’s certainly protected her financial future which is far, far, far more than she can say for her and SB!

Yes, that was the point I was trying to make in my clumsy way. The world has moved on but possibly Big Dave hasn’t, harking back to the 70s with a view of the old comprehensive schools. Broad generalisations.

Bright kids - managerial, others for the factories and unskilled jobs.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

I thought we low key referred to Chris Giles of the FT as Chris Mate toner, break they cycle as it were.its her, not us.


Wasn’t the weetabix water from Zadie Smith’s White Teeth? The dad was hoarding all the cash to build a mosque back home

She'll be saying that's inspired by her life now.

 

[fairylights2000]

Omg she’s accidentally uploaded the FaceTune screenie and not the image! Deceased!

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10 pages behind but I had to say LMAOOOOOO NOOOOO WAY

 

[Captainmouse]

Claudia Rodin sought you out for compliments though, it's one of your favourite memories, remember you tweeted it 10 minutes ago? So regardless of whatever terrible school you went to, you'll always have that.

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Why does she not follow industry news? Cos she has no interest in food, cooking or improving

 

[hydeist]

Omg I am so tempted to tweet her a made up twee cook book just so she can say 'yep love it'.
I'm thinking a Cypriot/Irish mashup.
'Ripe Figs and Boxty in my Pocket: a culinary journey from the foothills of the Troodos Mountains to Bantry Bay' by Philomena Papadopoulos.
Sounds like a banger to me.

Please make it fit as thread title!

 

[Boyo]

I was going to say, which school exactly? Absolutely loads of them went to regular state schools. Plenty grew up as actual immigrants, and plenty grew up in poverty too.

I see Book Stack Jack is back. I've got loads of Russians on mine, doesn't mean I'm into Vlad, just that I've finally decided to read them.

 

[Clovis]

Had to grunk back for this, this was first posted on here in April.View attachment 1351165

Have any of them even changed, I'm not forensic enough for this...

ETA previous pic here https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...hen-all-you-need-is-a-life.29468/post-9487930

Forensically checked and uploaded from my ring binder for FREE by I, Clovis.

 

[Boyo]

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Forensically checked and uploaded from my ring binder for FREE by I, Clovis.
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Here you go Jack. Pin this at the top of your Twitter.

 

[Helatruralhome]

Omg she is obsessed with schools. Is she saying most chefs and food writers went to public schools? So won't talk to plucky Grange Hill alumni Jack?
I'm sure it may be true in some cases but there are so many were it obviously isn't.
In fact one of the ones that immediately comes to mind is her personal benefactor Nigella.
Maybe she's been in the sun too long without the pigskin chapeau.

Yes because cooking has always been famously elitist according to Jack- never mind the fact that many of the most talented chefs are working class

 

[Vanelope]

She stated in one interview that her parents forced her to get surgery for the birthmark. Her mum said she insisted on the treatment

I still can't get over her making her two year old eat weetabix and water washed down with tap water. That poor kid

The more I think about it the more I think her entire Hunger Hurts essay was fictional. There are children who don’t have enough to eat. I think Jack made up that story.

Sorry if some of these have already been shared, “completed it mate” Jack is in full swing tonight.


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starting to feel a bit ‘leave Nazanin alone’ about this.

poor woman goes through hell, has the grace and strength of mind to not put up with patronising politicians who used her as a chess piece - and Jack is first-naming her all over here like a best pal.

 

[CakedCat]

The industry WhatsApp group she's in clearly keep the industry news to the other chat they have without her in then.

Why is she obsessed that everyone successful went to expensive private school? Plenty of people in varied industries worked their arses off to climb and grafted to get where they are from varying start points.

Yes Jack, work.
You know things like network, taking the 'junior' jobs and building up, taking supermarket/hospitality/admin/whatever work in other industries between jobs or as a day job until they can take their dream full time, taking extra classes to keep their skills and knowledge up to date and varied, attending events both small and big name etc.

Not Tweeting all day, aiming for something to go viral then sleeping through interviews on viral tweets or not preparing for them and getting arsey it ends there and someone else gets an opportunity.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Lads, I dreamt I was invited to THE BBQ and it was so awful it made me cry. I tried to escape but got lost in the sprawling jungle that is her back garden.
Not the best start to the day so please send mind bleachios.

 

[colouredlines]

Flashback to the time Jack taught a cookery session at Ballymaloe, owned by...er...Rachel and Davina Allen. This was 12 years after Tim Allen's conviction (I lived in Ireland some years after the case, it remained very, VERY well-known. For the record, I am not in any celebrity chefs' WhatsApp groups).

Sorry, did I say "taught"? You will be shocked to hear that Jack was struggling through a bout of ill health...

Maybe it's your crappy work ethic that keeps them from calling you, Jack, not your crappy tats?