Jack Monroe #417 Hard to play the victim when you’ve ripped people off.

[definitelynotvlad]

Did you not at any point question your sanity?

Yes, absolutely x (mainly when I was traipsing round Lidl looking for cooking bacon for half an hour then realised I could just buy bacon).

 

[BurgerLaBill]

Do the bake & gak, put the freshness back, *key change* do the bake & gak, put the freshness back...

Showing my age now...
Not long before there's a snowstorm folks, railing it like a beast off a flea market mirror, in between telling a can of mushy peas she's a champion of the poor, misunderstood and looks better than anyone alive in hideous Viv (RIP) traaaaaaaaaaaazers.

 

[Captainmouse]

Spoiler: Boring food safety talk

If your electricity is off, you should try to keep your fridge closed to keep the cool air inside as long as possible. If you open it a few times to make a salad and it warms up, the raw meat might make you ill tomorrow.

Unless your heating is also electric and your entire house is fridge temperature.

Even if your heating isn’t electric, it will go off, need electric to run the pump

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I hate to be a grammar pedant, Jack, but surely it would be "fewer tits", not "less tits"?

Or hopefully in your case, no tits

 

[Mr Krabs]

Yes, absolutely x (mainly when I was traipsing round Lidl looking for cooking bacon for half an hour then realised I could just buy bacon).

Was it vegan-ish bacon?

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Jan 2023 Heckin big cancellation. Noted in my diary.

Yes indeed... Book out January, turfed out January/Feb, and any Nigella patrons paying annually due renewal or drop- coinciding with 1st anniversary of conception of Vortex; Birth Impossible

Oh I thought it was honey badger
View attachment 1660787

Oh she is an idiot. Hahaha probably thought he meant she was cute.

Are Honey Badgers Friendly? No. Unfortunately, the Honey Badger is not a friendly animal at all and will most likely attack you and your other pets if it gets the chance, is known to savagely and fearlessly attack almost any other species when escape is impossible

 

[Terrible]

Yes, one angle that a media outlet could use is "why Patreon is a playground for scammers" - I.e. no recourse for ripped-off squigs - and use the smol pixie's antics as an illustrative example. Not a lawyer either, but that would be relatively safe legally because of the 100s of complaints on her Patreon page, along with Patreon's publicly posted terms of "service".

In her pal Richard Osman’s House of Games a couple of nights ago, one of the questions was along the lines of “how much is the average per person spend on unused subscriptions in a year?”. Fraus, I was SHOOKETH that the answer was about (I forget exactly) £500! Fuuuuck! I had a substack coming up for renewal, that I didn’t renew after that, as I barely read it, and we have Netflix, Spotify and Prime, but they all get a lot of use. Gym membership (not mine!) also gets used - I suspect this is the main one, but I honestly thought it would average out at maybe £20 or so per person.

With the cost of living now, there’s definitely an easy article to be written here - with advice on checking your direct debits for forgotten subscriptions, and a deeper dive on the dodgier ones that just might be taking advantage...

I know she jokes about Only Pans, but I hear Kerry Katona’s made an absolute fortune from her kebab recipes

 

[DinosaurSenior]

She invented her own nickname for sure. "Everyone called me Honey Badger, because I was small, cute and ferocious"*

I bet they called her Porcupine cos she's a total prick.

*She might have said

 

[HotesTilaire]

She invented her own nickname for sure. "Everyone called me Honey Badger, because I was small, cute and ferocious"*

I bet they called her Porcupine cos she's a total prick.

*She might have said

Didn’t we establish that Honey Badgers are vicious destructive little bastards? Her best frenemy knew what they were saying!
google them- exceptionally thick rubber-like skin

 

[frostily]

Not super OT but do you fraus ever get a little shiver of excitement when someone does a frau thing? Someone I know just chapeaued at someone and I’m dying to somehow find out if they’re a Frau

 

[Bugger13]

Yes indeed... Book out January, turfed out January/Feb, and any Nigella patrons paying annually due renewal or drop- coinciding with 1st anniversary of conception of Vortex; Birth Impossible


Oh she is an idiot. Hahaha probably thought he meant she was cute.

Are Honey Badgers Friendly? No. Unfortunately, the Honey Badger is not a friendly animal at all and will most likely attack you and your other pets if it gets the chance, is known to savagely and fearlessly attack almost any other species when escape is impossible

Does anyone remember that ‘honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a tit. It just takes what it wants’ video?
The nickname is perfect.

ETA I found it! So many parallels with Jack.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Honey badgers will also eat pretty much any kind of snake or rodent. So not dissimilar to Jack’s diet.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

1) ‘Hope you’re all okay’ is exactly what my terrible little user of a friend starts a chat with when she’s been out of touch for ages and now wants/needs something.
2) Jack. Of course you think your photo is lovely. It’s actually an overbearing, clashy nightmare a bit like your good self. As an art frau I’d love to give you some more constructive criticism but I’m just gonna yawn like a Btec photography tutor who wishes he’d stayed as technician and tell you to try again.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Where does she work? Action Fraud … or some scummy bit of the NHS or a third-party NHS supplier 🤷‍ Only the NHS are so wasteful to relish Pixie!

 

[catgoldo]

I was looking for the first tweet - as I *think* it is one of the few times she passes any reference to the amount of patrons. Of course she thanks Nigella not the patrons and dismisses it as a small number.
I'd forgotten the second one. Nauseating and completely entitled at the same time.

View attachment 1660788

View attachment 1660791
Btw am I reading the second one right? She views subscription models as 'no-obligation'?

also, “small flurry”? Was it not like 300-400 new patrons that day?

 

[MavisBeacon]

Long time lurker, swooping in to correct the BIB because it's a common misconception. You do not have to pay back your advance if you don't earn out (the royalties earned from sales exceeds the amount of the advance).

Failing to earn out may impact future deals, especially if the advance was small.

Excellent info, Clevvy-U.
As an author frau whose last book did NOT do well, I can confirm both of these to be true.

 

[Jelly Bean]

also, “small flurry”? Was it not like 300-400 new patrons that day?

Quite. Disingenuous as usual. And I imagine most of them went for the hard to find £1 option

 

[Helena Handbasket]

In no universe should she be a spokesperson for thrift and budgeting - when Jack wants, she shops. And then she lives on slops.

BIB:
Because I know it’s just too soon.

 

[Madonna_Claws]

It's this particular reply of the 2017 rent chaos that boils my hoops is my aneurysm. She experienced The Pov for what, a couple of weeks at the most. Funny how she was too proud to beg then but isn't now. Really makes you think. Self-employment/freelance work is often a bumpy ride. If you want a regular salary, get a job you stupid cow. "Well, you're just not very nice" - duck right off you cheeky bleeping grifting bleep.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Where does she work? Action Fraud … or some scummy bit of the NHS or a third-party NHS supplier 🤷‍ Only the NHS are so wasteful to relish Pixie! View attachment 1660874

I found a gastroenterologist with that name. Makes sense. Jack has so many new and exciting forms of gastronomic distress that she could teach them so much.