It’s the ‘wow’ that cracks me up. It cannot be a surprise to you Jack.
Jack Monroe #414 Catch Me If You (Tin) Can
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I did that too when I was about 14 or so! It was on the advice of Jamie Oliver, he said it once in an interview
Jack, Stop trying to make “white-wing” happen. It’s not going to happen.
(see also #thunderclap for carers)
PS if you really want to go viral, post some more of your Mam’s spuds.
I have a spreadsheet dear heart, let me see what's whatDear Heart @That Forensic Man could I ask you to please check your figs in your latest list as I think there may be some double-counting on fillers and Raybans? Not to make life hard for myself but I decided to update your lovely list in the wiki (2), and I don't want @colouredlines coming along and deleting the work in due course!
The easiest thing to do would be to put it into a spreadsheet with a column for the cost and one for the item [filter and sort] and then we don't duplicate. Now I feel like a right twattage for saying that, as I'm hopeless at excel but I want an accurate wiki.
@witchofwestbyfleet not toyou but I sense a fellow comms / PR person in the mix...fabulous updates - go well!
Fillers:
£2,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 4 years)
This was doubled after I saw the first lot was at least 2018, not the 2020 I'd assumed (it was 2 years not 4).
The £1,000 line was deleted from the list.
Ray bans:
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£300 2x more ray ban sunglasses
One pair was
and there are more so I've added 2 more pairs, 3 pairs in the list total.I think if you're updating the wiki (I didn't know it had been copied there, chapeau) you'll have to delete the current list and paste in the latest one (big spenny list + new/updated):
There were various lines that were crossed out as they'd been replaced/updated elsewhere but those are now deleted.
For the next update I was planning to do something where it would be categorised into say clothes, shoes, electronics etc. to make it easier to read.
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It is fascinating. I didn't hear Jamie on Radio 4, but have any of Jack's radio appearances ever gone viral? They haven't have they? She honks on nasally about herself ( when she bothers to turn up that is) and how people will DIE in a gleeful fashion.
Slightly off topic but I remember laughing for a good ten minutes when someone on Sali Hughes thread said they found Tattle through googling in exasperation 'Is Sali Hughes a wanker'.
Easier to read but also and more importantly easier to identify a trend or a spending preference/pattern.I have a spreadsheet dear heart, let me see what's what
Fillers:
£2,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 4 years)
This was doubled after I saw the first lot was at least 2018, not the 2020 I'd assumed (it was 2 years not 4).
The £1,000 line was deleted from the list.
Ray bans:
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£300 2x more ray ban sunglasses
One pair was
I think if you're updating the wiki (I didn't know it had been copied there, chapeau) you'll have to delete the current list and paste in the latest one:
There were various lines that were crossed out as they'd been replaced/updated elsewhere but those are now deleted.
For the next update I was planning to do something where it would be categorised into say clothes, shoes, electronics etc. to make it easier to read.
ETA kudos on being able to make any kind of spreadsheet let alone the amazing work being done tracking her fraud. It elevates it all into something legitimate and not just bitching about a poverty chef. It shows very clearly all her lies and double-dealing. Thankspaceyou for all that all if you forensic analytical ninnies do.
I might just to see what I get!! Told to duck off I’m guessing?
Sorry stupid double post-this is about the guardian not giving a tit that they promoted a con artist.
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@Mr Krabs and @Switchstreetz if JM had any spare cashos (ahahahahahaha) she should hire you to be her writers. Your routines for her are funnier than 99.999% of what goes on at most open-mike comedy nights.
She realized it in 2016, she's probably forgotten all about it by now
“My/The neurotic (?) brain seeks order and systems in order to function but my ADHD makes implementing and maintaining order and system utterly impossible.”
*eta I realise now it’s ‘autistic’ brain.
Regarding the filler, as a filler Frau myselfI have a spreadsheet dear heart, let me see what's what
Fillers:
£2,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 4 years)
This was doubled after I saw the first lot was at least 2018, not the 2020 I'd assumed (it was 2 years not 4).
The £1,000 line was deleted from the list.
Ray bans:
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£300 2x more ray ban sunglasses
One pair was
I think if you're updating the wiki (I didn't know it had been copied there, chapeau) you'll have to delete the current list and paste in the latest one (big spenny list + new/updated):
There were various lines that were crossed out as they'd been replaced/updated elsewhere but those are now deleted.
For the next update I was planning to do something where it would be categorised into say clothes, shoes, electronics etc. to make it easier to read.
here are my thoughts regarding the total number of mls.She would certainly have had 1ml in her lips, this is a fairly standard amount for lips that look ‘natural’. I know she was starting from a baseline of lip poverty, but even still I don’t think she has more than 1ml at a time. I agree that it would last around a year, 6 months if you do things like chew your lip, don’t keep your lips hyrdrated or anything else that will make it disperse it quicker, so it’s possible she’s keeping them topped up more regularly.
Re the face, I’d say the changes are pretty noticeable, therefore my guess is she’s having 3-4ml at a time. You can get 2 year products which tend to be more expensive. I pay £270 per ml for a 2 year product but I do go to a clinic that is at the pricey end of the scale because if you feel you must duck around with your face, you want to be in well-trained hands IMO. As Jack doesn’t believe in scrimping at any time other than when she’s doing performative £20 Asda shops, she likely shares this philosophy. Plus, she may have different areas of her face filled at different times, so it’s not necessarily the case that she’s having the same areas treated each time.
If I was being conservative, I’d say 1ml per year for lips, plus an average of 3ml per 18 months for her face. Happy to be challenged on this. This is not including Botox obv, which she quite clearly has too. At the risk of doubly triangulating myself, I am rubbish at maths so this may not affect the overall total already estimated.
Where's that extremely (fake) bitty waist gone then? Lying witchFor the newbie ninnies, you may or may not have seen this...I'm still having a dig around to 🔺️ some of her stuff for the epic list c/o @That Forensic Man
Enjoy and I'll be back in a bit xxx hopefully with some goodies x
As far as we know she goes too or certainly has been to Vie Aesthetics for her treatments https://www.vie-aesthetics.com/Regarding the filler, as a filler Frau myself
She would certainly have had 1ml in her lips, this is a fairly standard amount for lips that look ‘natural’. I know she was starting from a baseline of lip poverty, but even still I don’t think she has more than 1ml at a time. I agree that it would last around a year, 6 months if you do things like chew your lip, don’t keep your lips hyrdrated or anything else that will make it disperse it quicker, so it’s possible she’s keeping them topped up more regularly.
Re the face, I’d say the changes are pretty noticeable, therefore my guess is she’s having 3-4ml at a time. You can get 2 year products which tend to be more expensive. I pay £270 per ml for a 2 year product but I do go to a clinic that is at the pricey end of the scale because if you feel you must duck around with your face, you want to be in well-trained hands IMO. As Jack doesn’t believe in scrimping at any time other than when she’s doing performative £20 Asda shops, she likely shares this philosophy. Plus, she may have different areas of her face filled at different times, so it’s not necessarily the case that she’s having the same areas treated each time.
If I was being conservative, I’d say 1ml per year for lips, plus an average of 3ml per 18 months for her face. Happy to be challenged on this. This is not including Botox obv, which she quite clearly has too. At the risk of doubly triangulating myself, I am rubbish at maths so this may not affect the overall total already estimated.
Alas the Strictly mystery may never be answered. Got this today. Thank goodness I never pay the licence fee. Joking. (Really not joking. Twats. Apart from The Archers).
I did it aged 16 and working in a cafe. The cheese fat dripped onto the elements and the toaster caught fire. Luckily my boss thought it was funny.I did that too when I was about 14 or so! It was on the advice of Jamie Oliver, he said it once in an interview
I have a spreadsheet dear heart, let me see what's what
Fillers:
£2,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 4 years)
This was doubled after I saw the first lot was at least 2018, not the 2020 I'd assumed (it was 2 years not 4).
The £1,000 line was deleted from the list.
Ray bans:
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£300 2x more ray ban sunglasses
One pair was
I think if you're updating the wiki (I didn't know it had been copied there, chapeau) you'll have to delete the current list and paste in the latest one (big spenny list + new/updated):
There were various lines that were crossed out as they'd been replaced/updated elsewhere but those are now deleted.
For the next update I was planning to do something where it would be categorised into say clothes, shoes, electronics etc. to make it easier to read.
I just discovered that a frau triangulated the “investment piece butter soft leather leggings” a bit back. Here’s a photo of said butter soft monstrosities and here’s the linky link to the £££ (not Caroline of the hands hands here, an innocent stranger of the hands so I chopped the rest of the lady out)
Also, to all- are these DM boots already on the list? Cos if not
Finally, for anyone reading the FORENSIC list and wondering about this item from Russell Bromley
She was obviously channeling Cherie when she bought them, cos
And as a bonus for being well-behaved ninnies, here’s a lil pic of poverty campaigner Jack looking like a tit and very smug in a £375 Burberry scarf
Jack Monroe #309 Is it even an index if it’s not in a lever arch file?
Jack: "So I'm sitting in the green room and... Viv: " Sounds glamourou..." Jack: "Shush, I'm talking..." "And Michael Portillo was there and he said I should've kept my legs shut." Viv: "How awful for you." Jack: " Yes it was. I mean I needed therapy because having someone dressed in red cords...
tattle.life
Also, to all- are these DM boots already on the list? Cos if not
She was obviously channeling Cherie when she bought them, cos
And as a bonus for being well-behaved ninnies, here’s a lil pic of poverty campaigner Jack looking like a tit and very smug in a £375 Burberry scarf
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This sounds ridiculous but is a genuine problem for many (I reserve judgement on the extent to which JM is nd).
£865 and they've still gone all wrinkly round the knees and ankles
[email protected] .... still trying to give them away...
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The outlet store doesI’m so behind but Burberry doesn’t have tills lol nor would you be able to pick a coat up off a rail and take it up to check out
It was an insult doing the rounds in the USA to take the piss out of Q anon, calling them cuckolds (America can keep that weirdness, they are obsessed with who is getting one over on who, just get a class system on top of your racist one)and making a play on Klu Klux Klan. As ever with word Jackie, it was a rapidly-cooling take by the time she made a note of it.
You will see my personal favourite from the wallpaper - mention of patreon and vistaprint, in yellow circle.
And a new one, circled in green “put comedy act in diary”?...
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Sitting here like a pov trying to figure out how this worksI’m so behind but Burberry doesn’t have tills lol nor would you be able to pick a coat up off a rail and take it up to check out
send knowledgeosEdit: ok I have Googled "inside Burberry store" and I'm feeling a bit imposter syndrome just imagining walking into one of these places.
No offence intended to any Burberry fans - the stuff looks gorgeous. Just that I'd have a panic attack in the shop.
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@That Forensic Man sorry to bother you, is the Burberry scarf on your list? Dear heart switcherstreetz has an illustration in her avatar, of the hose-eating fox modelling it.
Jack put out a tweet that a secret, 7nnamed but very good friend had lost the Burberry scarf Jack had gifted to her, somewhere near the Channel 4 offices in London. The only other clue we had is that it was monogrammed with the initials LJC....
Jack put out a tweet that a secret, 7nnamed but very good friend had lost the Burberry scarf Jack had gifted to her, somewhere near the Channel 4 offices in London. The only other clue we had is that it was monogrammed with the initials LJC....
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