$559 to make your rear view look like that!
Jack Monroe #414 Catch Me If You (Tin) Can
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Saw this on another thread and thought our POV Porn Princess
She hasn't even put her boobs in the cups in the photoNo idea what was going on there, surely she must have had something decent she could have posed in? What made her think that a sagging grey sports bra and control pants would be alluring? Maybe LJC has unusual tastes idk. The whole photo session definitely suggested a cold and blizzardy night, when you look back now.
The open letter to SB’s dad in the Guardian was the seed of doubt for me.
I expect their prices may have been increased since the last lot of forensic work was done on the JM inventory of spenny things, but the filler she most likely has is £330 per ml. So the average cost per year (based on the amounts I guessed she’d have in a 3 year period) is £990.
Is this too long for thread title? It's a banger!
Starting from a baseline of lip poverty is the funniest thing I have ever read!Regarding the filler, as a filler Frau myselfhere are my thoughts regarding the total number of mls.
She would certainly have had 1ml in her lips, this is a fairly standard amount for lips that look ‘natural’. I know she was starting from a baseline of lip poverty, but even still I don’t think she has more than 1ml at a time. I agree that it would last around a year, 6 months if you do things like chew your lip, don’t keep your lips hyrdrated or anything else that will make it disperse it quicker, so it’s possible she’s keeping them topped up more regularly.
Re the face, I’d say the changes are pretty noticeable, therefore my guess is she’s having 3-4ml at a time. You can get 2 year products which tend to be more expensive. I pay £270 per ml for a 2 year product but I do go to a clinic that is at the pricey end of the scale because if you feel you must duck around with your face, you want to be in well-trained hands IMO. As Jack doesn’t believe in scrimping at any time other than when she’s doing performative £20 Asda shops, she likely shares this philosophy. Plus, she may have different areas of her face filled at different times, so it’s not necessarily the case that she’s having the same areas treated each time.
If I was being conservative, I’d say 1ml per year for lips, plus an average of 3ml per 18 months for her face. Happy to be challenged on this. This is not including Botox obv, which she quite clearly has too. At the risk of doubly triangulating myself, I am rubbish at maths so this may not affect the overall total already estimated.
Is the big green book in reference to the Twitter account who keeps trying to give Jack’s books away? I wonder what the numbers mean. Income? Outgoings?
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Great quote...but to veer off-topic, if anyone wants another crazy rabbithole to go down while Jack is quiet, look up the nowhitesaviors account. It's a wild ride!
Frauen, whilst I am sad to have missed many real time chaoses due to moving house and getting a dog I am pleased to report I managed to grunk the lot and am now back in real time. We moved to a bigger house but unfortunately were not able to practice the extra room, I did suggest having a sideboard room in the new house but OH vetoed it
On the topic of getting a dog, we got a rescue, not a puppy and whilst we love him he has turned our lives upside down or did so for at least the first month whilst everyone settled into a new routine, I imagine it would be 10x harder with a puppy so I struggle to think how I would have been able to be online as much as Jack, unless she is leaving the dog for long stretches of time?
and getting a dog I am pleased to report I managed to grunk the lot and am now back in real time. We moved to a bigger house but unfortunately were not able to practice the extra room, I did suggest having a sideboard room in the new house but OH vetoed it On the topic of getting a dog, we got a rescue, not a puppy and whilst we love him he has turned our lives upside down or did so for at least the first month whilst everyone settled into a new routine, I imagine it would be 10x harder with a puppy so I struggle to think how I would have been able to be online as much as Jack, unless she is leaving the dog for long stretches of time?
I want to comment on the length of these trousers! Unless she’s had them shortened… being 5.1 or whatever, they would be too long on her (especially if you look at the pic of the model a few posts back). But here, they look the same length as the models… who would definitely not be 5.1, so unless she’s had them shortened she must be taller
It’s the laces for me. Every single time. Why not just buy shorter laces rather than turn Converse into clown shoes?I want to comment on the length of these trousers! Unless she’s had them shortened… being 5.1 or whatever, they would be too long on her (especially if you look at the pic of the model a few posts back). But here, they look the same length as the models… who would definitely not be 5.1, so unless she’s had them shortened she must be taller
She spent £40 for a roll of wallpaper to create that! Has it been used again? Has it even seen the light of day? Has it bobbins
Apparently Claudia Winkleman is 5'4". (But who knows. Telly people seem small, I guess it's to fit on the screen 
).
And guess it depends on the shoes.
).And guess it depends on the shoes.
Apparently behind the scenes
I really like those viv red checked trousers, they really suit her. But my god why did she think copying Leggy’s Fat Controller waistcoat obsession would be a good idea. They really don’t look good on either of them
Quoting myself again like the absolute maverick I am; but this is my whole aneurysm with her. She’s 5.1 allegedly, so therefore she should really only fit into petite clothing (petite ninny here, the battle is real) all these designer clothes, none have petite options, I know this as I have repeatedly looked and tried to buy said items, and the like, and they never fit; arms too long, trousers too long, hips in wrong place, shoulder straps too long and don’t fit. There is no way she is as short as she states or we would most definitely be hearing about all the trials and tribulations of buying clothes that fit. Not just the odd post about wearing a 8 year old boys top! And she would need everything adjusted.. can’t see her getting that leather jacket adjusted…. We would definitely be hearing about it if she had- we know she loves to push the agenda that’s she’s a cutie smol fragile pixie.I want to comment on the length of these trousers! Unless she’s had them shortened… being 5.1 or whatever, they would be too long on her (especially if you look at the pic of the model a few posts back). But here, they look the same length as the models… who would definitely not be 5.1, so unless she’s had them shortened she must be taller
twit.
I don't believe a lot about what Jackie says or does but know a bloke who helped her move house years ago and said she is very very short.Apparently Claudia Winkleman is 5'4". (But who knows. Telly people seem small, I guess it's to fit on the screen
And guess it depends on the shoes.
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Apparently behind the scenes
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He also said she's a bit of a drama queen. I'd question the 'bit' part!
It’s just like the Apple store they have portable PoS terminals. The whole experience is basically the same as the Apple store just less enthusiastic lol. Her experience of the nasty SA is also…. atypical but I imagine some must mirror the treatment they receiveSitting here like a pov trying to figure out how this workssend knowledgeos
Edit: ok I have Googled "inside Burberry store" and I'm feeling a bit imposter syndrome just imagining walking into one of these places.
No offence intended to any Burberry fans - the stuff looks gorgeous. Just that I'd have a panic attack in the shop.
She’s still a twit!I don't believe a lot about what Jackie says or does but know a bloke who helped her move house years ago and said she is very very short.
He also said she's a bit of a drama queen. I'd question the 'bit' part!
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