Jack Monroe #414 Catch Me If You (Tin) Can

[SmolWarrior]

Other ninnies have made the point before, but it's trying and failing to reconstruct a style which belongs to the sort of people who have never bought (or chucked out) a piece of furniture because it's all handed been down through generations. Dog hair on every surface. Filthy.

I was reading the wiki in my menopausal insomnia last night and watched the "bit gauche, darling" clip for the first time. Our Jackie's voice (and hair) is like a young Lady Diana Spencer then. She has no identity of her own, sadly.

Sorry to be a useless ninny but can anyone point me to the 'bit gauche, darling' clip? I'd love to see it!

ETA Ignore me, I was forensic and painstakingly found it in the wiki!

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

It's the Russ and Supertanskiii thing, not Jack, though I can see why you'd be confused. There's some detail about it over on the Russ thread.

I saw the blue ticker/writer’s tweet. It was directed at Russ and Superstanskii. I would have loved it to be Jack but he is a Jack superstan. It why unfollowed him (I do like my own echochamber )

 

[Captainmouse]

Bare legs & boots is just unfathomable to me. All that ankle rubbing. Urrgh. Change your shoes or get ye some thermal tights

(off topic a bit but I live in a footballers wives type area & the current look in 40+ ladies is a flowery / bold maxi with Gucci/mcqueen sneakers and a denim or leather jacket. Even I do it for mum duty events as I don’t want to look out of place so end up conforming to some ridiculous mum uniform. It’s really stupid. Also; charity shop doesn’t always equal cheap. The ones around here are definitely more expensive than the equivalent new in Primark or Tesco. Not sure if it’s the same down south though.)

A very exclusive one in Victoria, full of designer gear, sheepskin hat £75, cashmere coat £200

 

[FlashBoof]

It’s extremely rare I am in or even inclined to watch Stephs Pack Lunch but I caught the last few minutes today (waiting for Countdown!) and they were eating out of Sophie Conran Portmerion bowls. At what point can we assume they are just trolling Jack?

 

[Justacatindisguise]

You wish. It was artfully styled with the £4.99 jolly warehouse skirt once (post's still on her twitter). I think it's an Elkington in oak. Much favoured by the likes of Alexa Cheung (sp?) at the time.

ETA: Here's Alexa with her bag. Also sans shoulder strap. @That Forensic Man retailed at £795 back in the day.

My god, Alexa Chung and Mulberry bags. Feel like I'm back in sixth form, sat in my room at my dad's house reblogging pictures of her on tumblr lmao.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Holy bleeping tit. I think I must be having an aneurysm.
What lunatic who has allegedly experienced such awful poverty which left their son hungry and themselves having to resort to sex work, not to mention the debts it brought with it all, would then spend £800 of their first book advance ON A bleeping BAG?!!
How is she still not cancelled????!!!!!!! No one should ever take advice from this imbecilic charlatan.

It's so hard to work out with her stories what is a lie and what is her stupidity. Was she genuinely hard up at one stage but she's stupid and reckless with money, so splurged it as soon as she had it? Or was it complete bullshit and she was never really skint? Either way, she claimed that she made these big purchases with book advances as investments, so she could flog them if ever skint again. So why then let your 'investment' piece become ruined through neglect? Probably because its bullshit and she doesn't want to admit she just likes expensive things, that's why.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Update as we've done quite a bit today.
What's this blue thing on top of the little oven?
I've seen about 10 different toasters, kettles and microwaves across the ages, "creator of the upcoming vimes boots index" indeed

Spoiler: thankyou stocktakers x

I’ve got one for the list - don’t forget she signed up for Sarah Akwisombe’s Money & Manifesting course (£200 I believe) and also bought the evil eye necklace from her shop (I can’t remember the price, but it was tat-tastic!£

Great list, much Forensic! I’d like to add that there was a picture taken in one of her office spaces where you could see two laptops and one desktop. If memory serves me correctly, the desktop was an i Mac around £1.2k and one of the laptops a Macbook Pro, around £900. Maybe can remember the pic? There were a lot of post it notes stuck to a wallchart and a messy desk and one laptop was half hidden under piles of paper - but all three were partially in shot and we all spoke about why she needed all three when she uses a phone to do most of her work. Over a year ago I’d guess, nearer a year and a half, possibly more.

I can’t remember if I said it here or not but I genuinely bought a full bottle of Penhaligons from a charity shop for £2 recently. It was such a Jack thing but I couldn’t explain it to anyone else without sounding like a loon.

That rucksack is Cath Kitson, witch!

Similar pic
View attachment 1644585
View attachment 1644588

Here's the iMac and phone, with the £40 a roll wallpaper

Jack Monroe #106 She’s ‘aving a carafe

“Be-my-friend” chocolate bars going down well. Some positive twitter off the back. Imagine how much there will be when PATREONs start getting the postcards they’ve been expecting for 2-3 months 😳

tattle.life

Damn you’re good definite iMac, we can safely say £900 but could be more depending on the specs

The Blue heels from the IG photo are Jimmy Choo circa 2016 spring collection & that fits the date on the picture.
Even the zip on the back matches.
Price at the time was $895

I'm crying that THAT BLOODY LAMP is on the list.
As another Frau has said those blue ones are Jimmy Choo Rens - retailed $925 so whats that, £800 plus in 2016.

$900 (if real). Marvellous.

@ThatForensicMan
Those blue heels are Jimmy Choo Rens from 2016, unless I'm very much mistaken. (I am not mistaken).

So I googled, Jack Monroe Mulberry bag, just to see what came up. The tweet of her calling a squid a gammon appeared so I clicked & it took me to the tweet & when a squig asked to see the mulberry bag…. This was the response…
I don’t believe such bag exists

Mulberry bag seen here:
View attachment 1644988
View attachment 1644989
View attachment 1644991

You wish. It was artfully styled with the £4.99 jolly warehouse skirt once (post's still on her twitter). I think it's an Elkington in oak. Much favoured by the likes of Alexa Cheung (sp?) at the time.
ETA: Here's Alexa with her bag. Also sans shoulder strap. retailed at £795 back in the day.

The Mulberry Bayswater is around 1.1k, not a cheap bag. I have a friend who has two, they’ve been some proper dirty places, don’t want to say without myself but dirty, greasy oily places& rammed full of stuff. Still look new

Spoiler: big spenny list

£428 fancy knobs
£250 magnetic Allegra spice jars
£95 Abigail Aherne grey hare table lamp
£72 antique bird of paradise porcelain door knobs and finger plates (bedroom door)
£432 if she's done the other say 6 internal doors as well
£25 wooden calculator (unused)
£35 two-headed Skellington dog plastic Halloween decoration
£339 All Saints belfern suede biker jacket
£155 Morris & Co. Strawberry Thief curtains (median price £65-245)
£1,550 2x Tiffany pearl hoop earrings sterling silver (two pairs)
£150 DM boots (other ones, not the willow ones mentioned upthread)
£104 rusty eBay spoons
£110 2x Oliver Bonas jumpers
£80 Emma Bridgewater toaster with TOASTER on it
£780 At least two Burberry scarves: one for her and one for LJC
£110 Crosley cruiser suitcase turntable ('SB's' bedroom)
£800 77 Lipsticks
£200 14 Foundations
£250 40 Eyeliners
£500 misc makeup
£320 2x Roberts Revival Mini radio
£158 orange nike trainers (asda trip)
£1,200 8x kendal dining chairs
£425 Graham and Green birdcage lampshade
£65 test tube vases
£35 boiler suit (which was dyed pink)
£10 squid game guard mask from the market
£44 per roll wallpaper used as ADHD friendly “to-do” list
£300 kitchen aid
£20 black pleather Primark boots with chain
£499 Dyson fan
£65 SimpleHuman hand soap dispenser (kitchen)
£60 squatty potty
£535 custom captain's chair
£110 Two pairs of granny curtain boiler suits
£400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
£229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
£799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
£849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
£399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
£2,396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
£1,529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
£299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
£800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
£499 Cotswold Company chester wine console
£599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
£699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
£800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak shoe storage bench
£730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
£300 suit she wore for the Diva photoshoot
£300 dyson hairdryer
£1199 water rower
£400 John Lewis hammock
£400 John Lewis egg chair
£400 20x John Lewis clear plastic storage bins
£290 Baywood 33 drawer tea chest
£30 John Lewis Perspex cube pasta storage with pink lids
£20 full set of oversized unicorns/animal mugs from Asda
£300 sentient mirror
£360 2x nike trainers (exc. orange ones)
£120 24" TV for SB's PlayStation
£2,500 Smeg fridge (double American style)
£300 2x Viv westwood dress (assume sale)
£75 Sweaty Betty leggings
£200 R&P bras (x 2 minimum)
£199 Airpods
£249 Airpods pro
£199 Apple Watch (assume series 3)
£250 Sleeper to Edinburgh last min on a Friday
£309 3 nights at Eden Locke, Edinburgh
£170 Last minute train home on a Monday morning
£700 Vets bills
£20 Sad Asda shop
£80 2x summit camping stove (shed)
£400 ooni pizza oven (freebie)
£60 3x “tiles” for locating lost keys/phones by internet magic
£12 2x dylon machine dye
~£1,000 unread books (estimate)
£100 CUDDLY TOY (Hamleys)
£640 6x DAB radios
£60 Lego flower bouquet
£60 Rock tumbler
£2,200 content
£15 6x ring binders (for coroner's reports)
£1,790 Burberry classic trench coat
£5,000 Burberry brit jacket ($5-6k)
£350 Warm & wonderful diana sheep jumper
£60 Boy london snap back black/gold hat ($60)
£1,000 Unidentified Cotswold(?) cupboard/wardrobe
£10 horrendous steam punk clock leggings (worn once)
£525 35x moleskin notebooks
£119 Hatteras pigskin leather cap dark brown (wax suede stetson hat)
£56 7x Wilko snake charmer kitchen baskets
£479 Nespresso creatista plus coffee machine (doesn't drink coffee)
£199 Bodyclock luxe 700FM alarm clock
£66 Tatty Devine Fishbone necklace
£485 Tiffany 1837 Makers I.D. Tag Pendant in Sterling Silver, 24" (worn at arcade fire gig)
£249 Peak Design rucksack (asda romp)
£245 'Edinburgh book festival' Russell & Bromley chester tassel loafer (dubious provenance)
£245 'Downing Street' leopard monstrosities with block heels
£245 assumed third pair of 'spenny loafers'
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£140 4x Ikea hejne 'cheapo shoe racks' for seasonal crockery
£72 9x Ikea knagglig wooden box
£324 2x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Dinnerware Set, White, 12 Piece (4x Dinner Plates, 4x Salad Plates, 4x Cereal Bowls)
£92 4x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Mugs, White, Box of 2
£19 Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Cream Jug, White
£136 8x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Pasta Bowl, Dia.23.5cm, White
~£200 more random Sophie Conran for Portmeirion tit (see instagram)
£294 'I can't forget' screenprint navy/raspberry
~£2,000 438x baubles
£2,000 cooker
£80 Nokia 3310
£1050 3x chest freezers
£70 Dunelm Retro 20L 800W Pink Digital Microwave
£28 John Lewis llama doorstop
£40 Vintage ferguson radio casette recorder
£18 H&M peacock gold candlestick
49 Ted Baker pyjamas
£100 10x H&M gold candlesticks
£116 Instagram look
~£420 3x VegTrugs (unknown quantity)
~£900 botox (estimate, £300/3 areas x 3 treatments)
~£1,056 haircuts at Toni & Guy, Woo Hair etc. (estimate, £66 x 4 per year x 4 years)
~£3,000 2x tattoo sleeves (estimate, £1,500 per sleeve)
£150 wire racking (kept outside)
£30 flamingo neon light
£60 mary poppins parrot umbrella
£384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
£144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
£60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect
£80 2x Ikea helmer white 6 drawer unit
£1,350 Hopkins SPITE SOFA (designers guild florence 2 seater)
£300 3x wigs
£543 32x copies of cooking on a bootstrap (kickstarter version) just sat there
£250 all saints leather jacket
~£400 bike (estimate)
~£400 bike given to someone who's was stolen (estimate)
£360 cafe 3x weekly for 6 months (£5 x 3pw x 6mo)
£150 puppy grooming package (£25 x 1pm x 6mo)
£45 Bialetti moka color blue 6 cup
£45 Bialetti moka express silver 6 cup
£100 magnum boots
£130 Finn watch
£150 Garmin watch
£120 Dr Martens willow edition boots
£120 Dr Martens red boots
£60 12x derwent colorsoft pencils
£600 omega seamaster watch (replica?)
£85 leather converse
£135 Global Classic knife
£300 Blok knife (Observer Food Award)
£300 Mcusta Zanmai supreme ripple knife
£75 magnolia tree
£750 Christian Louboutin Audrey Strappy Glitter Sandal (fake?)
£12 'limited edition' vest
£3 Asda Cream Gratitude Slogan Sweatshirt (kids)
~£2,000 400 cookbooks as of 2016 (estimate, 400 x £5 average each)
“£5” denim cargo trousers from Primark
£100 countertop oven
£300 2x more ray ban sunglasses
£1,700 smeg fridge (small, broken?)
£70 nutribullet 600
£295 Pandora bracelet with at least 7 charms (£55 bracelet + 8x £30)
~£2,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 4 years - since at least 2018)

Spoiler: new/updated

£549 55" TV
£60 cath kidston rucksack
£1,200 iMac desktop
£1,000 macbook pro
£1,000 other laptop
£79 apple mouse
£70 folding table
£895 Jimmy Choo ren sandals blue 2016
£150 Penhaligons fragrance
£795 mulberry elkington oak bag
£14 replacement oliver bonas strap
£4.99 jolly warehouse skirt
£1,500 3x phones
£249 1x tablet
£100 2x microphones
£100 3x sets of headphones
£60 3x backup batteries
£140 4x studio lights (ESDDI)
£45 3x extension leads
£150 5x hastily installed curtains
£30 1x pivot stand
£4 1x actual tin can (eBay)
£539 1x canon 700D as backup
(taking no chances - priceless £2,917)
£200 Sarah Akwisombe’s Money & Manifesting course

Total: £72,889 £81,823

Spoiler: TBC - forensic ninnies apply within

The new pair of boots she bought after wearing the taped together pair for a while on TV (despite having other pairs ...?)
Artificial snow
plastic flower headdress phase
Le Creuset
furniture and set dressing for the shed outside that she was going to turn into a studio
lawnmower
tents
Ten (at least) outdoor chairs for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things
The hen with the rubber eggs for nesting hens?
dusty plastics string of pearls plant
laptops for 'team of staff'
squishy sofa
velvet sofabed
baskets, baskets everywhere
leather armchairs
calvin klein sportswear
nike pro sportswear
drinking glasses (content approved)
red teardrop drop hoop earrings
leather jackets
teeth whitening (maybe filter)
fake tan
'shoe obsession'
fancy crockery (shitloads)
high quality crystal clear food storage containers (shitloads)
food storage (shitloads, kilner jars etc.)
double monk shoes black
viv clobber
THAT BLOODY LAMP
watch with flowery strap
watch with chunky silver strap
guitar
Sarah Akwisombe evil eye necklace

Instagram zone

foodism awards red suit -

bedroom of lies -

dog cushions -

Spoiler: stocktake T&Cs

Anything spenny is fair game, but I'll add whatever fraus want.
My own benchmark is discretionary or 'non-essential' spend in the context of someone who claims to not be able to afford shower gel or 6p for butter instead of lard etc.
Jack moves things around constantly so try to avoid double counting.
Instagram is a literal and figurative gold mine (see TBC spoiler).
If I like your stocktake post it means I've seen it and will include in the next update.
Have fun.
Now duck off x

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Such a big campaigner for the Living Wage that one of the first articles that comes up on that second link is her saying the Living Wage isn’t good enough…
View attachment 1645060

Also has she ever even done anything with the Living Wage Foundation? Apart from that weird invite on Twitter to come along to a supposed meeting with Sainsburys earlier this year that I don’t think they even replied to. Either way, Sainsburys staff still aren’t paid the Living Wage so she can’t have been that convincing. Assuming the meeting was even real.

On a more trite level, yet more evidence she’s been desperately trying to recreate Ol’ Leggy’s kitchen ever since. Both kitchens make me feel itchy.

Also, neatly summing up Jack’s bullshit backstory and all her ‘campaigning’ in just three little words and twelve letters

Spoiler

 

[Orphan_Black]

On a more trite level, yet more evidence she’s been desperately trying to recreate Ol’ Leggy’s kitchen ever since. Both kitchens make me feel itchy.
View attachment 1645299

Also, neatly summing up Jack’s bullshit backstory and all her ‘campaigning’ in just three little words and twelve letters

Spoiler

View attachment 1645303

At least her grimy, cluttered filled death traps are more truthful than the pictures of kitchens with empty cupboards and sad faces that she started out with.

 

[That Forensic Man]

On a more trite level, yet more evidence she’s been desperately trying to recreate Ol’ Leggy’s kitchen ever since. Both kitchens make me feel itchy.
View attachment 1645299

Also, neatly summing up Jack’s bullshit backstory and all her ‘campaigning’ in just three little words and twelve letters

Spoiler

View attachment 1645303

Has she... microsoft painted that 'graffiti' behind her? or was it you

Also that kitchen looks like one of the traps in Home Alone or something

 

[here we go again]

That kitchen makes me feel itchy. All the DUSTING.

 

[Lucky Escape]

It's so hard to work out with her stories what is a lie and what is her stupidity. Was she genuinely hard up at one stage but she's stupid and reckless with money, so splurged it as soon as she had it? Or was it complete bullshit and she was never really skint? Either way, she claimed that she made these big purchases with book advances as investments, so she could flog them if ever skint again. So why then let your 'investment' piece become ruined through neglect? Probably because its bullshit and she doesn't want to admit she just likes expensive things, that's why.

Can Mulberry bags really be that poorly-made that the strap could wear out after only 7 years? I have a lovely leather satchel which cost me about £150 in the early 2000s. I used it daily for well over a decade - looking at it now, I can see that there's a bit of stitching that's close to fraying on the strap. But that's something I'd try to have mended rather than replacing it with a cheap fabric thing.

 

[binkbonk]

Has she... microsoft painted that 'graffiti' behind her? or was it you

Also that kitchen looks like one of the traps in Home Alone or something

It was a picture in an article linked earlier from 2015

I found this yesterday from 2015, which makes much the same point and had the measure of her back then. It’s an interesting read, and demonstrates she has neither grown nor changed since then.

Follow Jack Monroe Fight Poverty

Jack Monroe has removed the words “social justice warrior” from her twitter profile. Cooking on gas in never never land you’ve got to wonder, was she ever? Jack Monroe is up for B…

talesfromthesouthbank.wordpress.com

Apologies to fans but open storage in the kitchen makes me Just get some glass doors for the cabinets if you really need to know where everything is

ETA I really need to start checking the text box before writing a post, I've tagged so many ninnies accidentally over the last while

 

[That Forensic Man]

It was a picture in an article linked earlier from 2015

Therefore I am decease x

 

[harveydean]

I’ve got one for the list - don’t forget she signed up for Sarah Akwisombe’s Money & Manifesting course (£200 I believe) and also bought the evil eye necklace from her shop (I can’t remember the price, but it was tat-tastic!)

@Hunsgraveyard can you remember?

 

[miss_terious]

Can Mulberry bags really be that poorly-made that the strap could wear out after only 7 years? I have a lovely leather satchel which cost me about £150 in the early 2000s. I used it daily for well over a decade - looking at it now, I can see that there's a bit of stitching that's close to fraying on the strap. But that's something I'd try to have mended rather than replacing it with a cheap fabric thing.

I've been using one bag since early 2015, it's been my go-to day bag for multiple trips and sees almost daily use. I don't take any particular care with it besides throwing it in the washing machine once a year or so. It still looks practically brand new. It's not even expensive leather, just fabric. I think I paid $25 for it at TJ Maxx.

She's just incapable of telling the truth, even when it's something so unimportant. Or she's so careless with her possessions that she's able to destroy even a $$$$ bag that's meant to last years. (But for all she claims that bag was in bad shape it looks perfectly fine, so...)

 

[HaveTinCanRattle]

I've been using one bag since early 2015, it's been my go-to day bag for multiple trips and sees almost daily use. I don't take any particular care with it besides throwing it in the washing machine once a year or so. It still looks practically brand new. It's not even expensive leather, just fabric. I think I paid $25 for it at TJ Maxx.

She's just incapable of telling the truth, even when it's something so unimportant. Or she's so careless with her possessions that she's able to destroy even a $$$$ bag that's meant to last years. (But for all she claims that bag was in bad shape it looks perfectly fine, so...)

Yeah? Well thank your lucky stars you didn't have to yomp down to Asda, fill that bag with tins and yomp back every week. Then you'll know strain on a strap, be it Mulberry or Boot.

And, no, plainly she just lost the strap and thought by tagging Mulberry they'd send her another. Or the new Mulberry Alexa. Or (and this would be her clear preference) donate to a foodbank in lieu.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Can Mulberry bags really be that poorly-made that the strap could wear out after only 7 years?

My friend was given a Mulberry bag when she first started work, 20 years ago. It's been in daily use since then, and it's still almost pristine. And if it did break, they offer a repair service. My Radley handbags have likewise survived years of abuse without straps breaking or anything else. One even shrugged off getting four pints of beer spilled on it at the cricket.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I 🔺️ two more knives. 3rd from left is another artisan piece from Blenheim Forge. £265. One to the right of that is a Joseph Joseph knife, much less £ but they usually come in sets rather than individual knives, so could have been a reasonably pricey outlay.

Nakiri, a great knife for Asian culinary techniques - Blenheim Forge

San mai carbon steel blades. Shop our collection of hand forged knives.

blenheimforge.co.uk

As someone who loves to cook and only has a set of Sainsbos knives, this makes me so cross. She doesn't deserve nice things, at all .

 

[Helena Handbasket]

View attachment 1644363View attachment 1644365

iiiinteresting. Can’t wait for a newspaper to finally, finally break this story

Haha! Yes! I was very tempted to email the Graun asa disgruntled reader asking if they actually bother researching people before writing their puff piece. Very pleased about this!