Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.

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I have a great idea! Bear with me... (and if this bloody happens, the idea's copyrighted, ok?)
WHY doesn't Jack do her autobiography like one of those 'choose your own adventure' books that were all the rage pre-internet?
Every time her life stories diverge, you get a choice:
"If jack gets dumped by Allegra and keeps her boobs, go to page 50"
"If Jack fucks up another relationship, go to page 75"
"If Jack sold her lightbulbs, go to page 30"
If Jack arranges a Yummy Mummy play date, go to page 35"
Ok, it's late, I have brain fog (need HRT, dontcha know) and I might be hallucinating.
But you get my drift?
I think it could work...
Tender one, I have often thought of doing a Jack Monroe - My Story flow chart but I do like your idea too.
 
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I’m hugely behind but wanted to share the most delightful activity with you all. Last night, lying in bed (🔺) Mr Barzie and I played a game: Guess the Slop! I showed a picture from JM’s Instagram and Mr Barzie had to guess what it was! I laughed until I cried and it was FREE. #FamilyFun. #JacksHacks. #GuessTheSlopTillYouDropFromA£20Shop
 
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I’m hugely behind but wanted to share the most delightful activity with you all. Last night, lying in bed (🔺) Mr Barzie and I played a game: Guess the Slop! I showed a picture from JM’s Instagram and Mr Barzie had to guess what it was! I laughed until I cried and it was FREE. #FamilyFun. #JacksHacks. #GuessTheSlopTillYouDropFromA£20Shop
That is a top tip.
And the warming energy generated from the mirth means you didn't need those greasy hot roasting tins in the beds as well.
Thanks Jack for all you do.
#campaigneroftheyear
 
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I’m hugely behind but wanted to share the most delightful activity with you all. Last night, lying in bed (🔺) Mr Barzie and I played a game: Guess the Slop! I showed a picture from JM’s Instagram and Mr Barzie had to guess what it was! I laughed until I cried and it was FREE. #FamilyFun. #JacksHacks. #GuessTheSlopTillYouDropFromA£20Shop
That’s brilliant.
In a very different vein I have another approach, my sister is becoming enamoured with JM (I’ve spoken about her quite a bit before, she’s on the verge of joining tattle)
Anyway, we live together and whenever she annoys me I send her something from my arsenal of slop pictures.
I usually hear an ‘EWWWWWW what the duck?!’ from the other room when I do 😂
 
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I can't even with the feijoada. Caramelized orange slices are not the same thing as tinned mandarins, you absolute tool. And ketchup is not the same thing as tomato puree.
 
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I feel we need to make an off topic thread as I adore these books, as an aside may I recommend Diary of a provincial lady? If you like mapp and Lucia you will probably like this book.

Better get back to Jack
Oooh, thank you! Will have a look.😊

"and my friends all hate it!" she really is Typical Annoying Facebook girl. fishing for compliments, thirst-trapping in her bra.
Totally, and that's not a perm.
 
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That’s brilliant.
In a very different vein I have another approach, my sister is becoming enamoured with JM (I’ve spoken about her quite a bit before, she’s on the verge of joining tattle)
Anyway, we live together and whenever she annoys me I send her something from my arsenal of slop pictures.
I usually hear an ‘EWWWWWW what the duck?!’ from the other room when I do 😂
I haven't bothered explaining the Monroeverse to anyone IRL because where do you even start? They'd think I was crazy. But I did show my mother a photo of the pear brick cake and her reaction was just ''Oh. Oh no. That's not right at all.'' 😂
 
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Apparently she owned the wedding dresses...

View attachment 1629323
Why was she collecting wedding dresses? I'd both love and hate to see the results of the photoshoots. I just know they'd be terrible!

Funnily enough, I’ve just found this from her. I’ll just pop it here. Without comment.
View attachment 1629412
Also, OG Fraus, WTF was going on here?! It’s terrifying whatever it was! Is it a seance? Is she summoning demons?
View attachment 1629419
I never watched it (can't bare to) but isn't this from when she was throwing herself about in tiny pj shorts, and described herself as nearly showing her 'ham sandwich'? 🤢

She's so desperate to be sexy, and she's just not.
 
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Why was she collecting wedding dresses? I'd both love and hate to see the results of the photoshoots. I just know they'd be terrible!


I never watched it (can't bare to) but isn't this from when she was throwing herself about in tiny pj shorts, and described herself as nearly showing her 'ham sandwich'? 🤢

She's so desperate to be sexy, and she's just not.
Didn’t we see someone sat on a chair in a wedding dress, doing a Cnut? Was that a terrible drawing or terrible photo? Terrible.
 
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Why was she collecting wedding dresses? I'd both love and hate to see the results of the photoshoots. I just know they'd be terrible!


I never watched it (can't bare to) but isn't this from when she was throwing herself about in tiny pj shorts, and described herself as nearly showing her 'ham sandwich'? 🤢

She's so desperate to be sexy, and she's just not.
I did a Google image search for Jack Monroe in a wedding dress and got the picture below. She looks very different without the photoshop.

Screenshot 2022-10-06 02.34.30.png
 
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Ah she did a drawing of one of her favourite photos, so who knows?
Credit- Marm
Please click the link to the drawing I promise you it’s hilarious
 
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Exactly! Why the drama I-am-in-the-process-of-writing-it? It's not bloody Shakespeare, mate. Either share it, or keep quiet.
Jack consistently misses the window of opportunity, there's people saying they want to give it a go 'tonight' (last night), by the time she doesn't get round to posting the recipe everyone will have forgotten about it.

 
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