Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.

[Bugger13]

Jack fails to come through on another promise

Ahahahaa, I bet this is because of her constantly changing face/lips/eyes/head size/hair/tits/height. Just do a bust of widdecombe & be done with it.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Lie alert. Steaming ‘vintage’ wedding dresses isn’t advisable bridal fraus. (all eras and fabrics are of course, interchangeable)

Lie alert noted and accepted! I also think it's been said on here before that the tickets weren't available for sale whilst she was working for the fire service?
Don't think she's mentioned selling her steamer? That would have saved her 50p per annum on her lecci and got her £10 more than her son's favourite soft toy.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

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I’ve read a few words of truth from her!

I was thinking how Jack's life story would be unfilmable, like "the life and opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentlemen", and when I googled it... THIS is one of the main characters....

Spoiler: Uncanny

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Now that really makes you think!

 

[terfette]

They can enter a student for exams whenever they want. My school used to routinely put the top stream for maths in for O level in yr 10, and I sat an extra one (3rd science) in the November "resits" on home study over the summer. Sounds like they were just being arses to teach you a lesson.

Ahh can they? I will point out, I was expelled for makin g threats against one of my teachers lives. And during the meeting I interrupted to point out “I never said my dad would touch you, I said I would” (no idea why the teacher claimed I threatened him with my dad, my dad is the least violent man you’ll find) and then told them I had no desire to be there and considered it a waste of my time, and that if I was forced to come back I would be making absolutely no changes to my attitude or behaviour. (I told you I was ab absolute twit). I’d have done the same as them.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

From Hungrier and Hurtier, 2022: The Boiled Soap Years

Spoiler: Autistic. Cannot Lie

She’s out of her bleeping tree, isn’t she?

 

[jenny2603]

Spoiler: Nonsensical Jack eleventy billion and 1

So you know when Old Harold hated her tattoos and thought she dressed like a lesbian on 13 July?
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Turns out that on 31 July in Hunger Hurts 2, she was still devastated that the old homophobic bastard had left and was “standing in the crater holding pieces of her heart and charred fragments of the house he was going to pay for”.

Oh and as if him being a tattoo and lesbian clothing hater wasn’t enough, he also threw a grenade at her and LEFT on a SUNDAY, when she didn’t even have her Sunday School teacher accountant to comfort her. It’s just kike those Saturday trolls when her lawyer is unable to be BUSY.

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Oh, and one more for the cheap seats! Guardian, 2014, direct quote, “I left home at 18

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Hunger Hurts, 2022, she’s 34. Been renting 18 years. So she’s always been tit with money because according to her she was paying rent from age 16 on a place, even though (also according to her), she still lived at home and didn’t move out til she was 18.

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She's probably counting having to pay her mum and dad digs because she's a whining halfwit.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

Lie alert noted and accepted! I also think it's been said on here before that the tickets weren't available for sale whilst she was working for the fire service?
Don't think she's mentioned selling her steamer? That would have saved her 50p per annum on her lecci and got her £10 more than her son's favourite soft toy.

Steaming is fine-best for silk etc but vintage wedding dresses need care and attention. I get so hyper sensitive to her micro-lies! I’m like NOPE! Ya just wouldn’t!

 

[Bugger13]

Someone earlier mentioned there is a photo of topless Jack out there. Yes, I googled it.
But apparently she’d rather scrape her own eyes out with one of her rusty spoons than be a presenter? Jack is, & always has been, desperate for fame and recognition.
I suspect she’s got a napoleon complex (no offence to any 5 foot 1.7 normal people, it only relates to gobby, boring, irritating Jack)

 

[Valiofthedolls]

She's probably counting having to pay her mum and dad digs because she's a whining halfwit.

Yeah, like when she was living in a shared place with her “five roommates” who were probably her mother, father, brother, sister and her child. In her parents’ house

 

[HotesTilaire]

I have always suspected that Jack the personality vampire stole “doing photography” from SB’s dad

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Ahh can they? I will point out, I was expelled for makin g threats against one of my teachers lives. And during the meeting I interrupted to point out “I never said my dad would touch you, I said I would” (no idea why the teacher claimed I threatened him with my dad, my dad is the least violent man you’ll find) and then told them I had no desire to be there and considered it a waste of my time, and that if I was forced to come back I would be making absolutely no changes to my attitude or behaviour. (I told you I was ab absolute twit). I’d have done the same as them.

Teenagers are absolute knobs sometimes. Sounds like you were particularly difficult....your poor parents and teachers! Glad you got through it.....OR well done on getting your burner phone in!

 

[Helena Handbasket]

Someone earlier mentioned there is a photo of topless Jack out there. Yes, I googled it.
But apparently she’d rather scrape her own eyes out with one of her rusty spoons than be a presenter? Jack is, & always has been, desperate for fame and recognition.
I suspect she’s got a napoleon complex (no offence to any 5 foot 1.7 normal people, it only relates to gobby, boring, irritating Jack)

Ah ok so given how she blows up every story to it’s Nth degree this is probably the root of the prostitution myth. Booby shot=bleep. Such a hypocritical little Tory.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

She's probably counting having to pay her mum and dad digs because she's a whining halfwit.

Turns out, Jenny numbers, that she left home at eighteen AND at sixteen. She told the BBC 16 this very year. Not sure how leaving home at both 16 and 18 with works exactly, but I’ll let the boffin worry about that. #JackMaths

BBC Radio 4 - The Food Programme, Jack Monroe: A Life Through Food - Eight things we learned from writer and poverty campaigner Jack Monroe

In the latest helping of The Food Programme, Leyla Kazim meets Jack Monroe.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[SpudYouHate]

Would it be possible to have The Story Of Jack According to The Guardian and then ditto According to Sainsburys/ her twitter 2013 story/ insta as of 2018 etc? Like a Jack Testaments, Bible style (other religions are available, not all on a Friday or Saturday though if you're on a grunk)
Do all her stories add up on all her Guardian articles but vary in other publications or are they contradictory within The Guardian I.e. does she at least keep her story straight for individual publications and we only see deviations when she swaps to a different newspaper etc?

I have a great idea! Bear with me... (and if this bloody happens, the idea's copyrighted, ok?)
WHY doesn't Jack do her autobiography like one of those 'choose your own adventure' books that were all the rage pre-internet?
Every time her life stories diverge, you get a choice:
"If jack gets dumped by Allegra and keeps her boobs, go to page 50"
"If Jack fucks up another relationship, go to page 75"
"If Jack sold her lightbulbs, go to page 30"
If Jack arranges a Yummy Mummy play date, go to page 35"
Ok, it's late, I have brain fog (need HRT, dontcha know) and I might be hallucinating.
But you get my drift?
I think it could work...

 

[jenny2603]

Turns out, Jenny numbers, that she left home at eighteen AND at sixteen. She told the BBC 16 this very year. Not sure how leaving home at both 16 and 18 with works exactly. #JackMaths

View attachment 1629384

BBC Radio 4 - The Food Programme, Jack Monroe: A Life Through Food - Eight things we learned from writer and poverty campaigner Jack Monroe

In the latest helping of The Food Programme, Leyla Kazim meets Jack Monroe.

www.bbc.co.uk

This is like when she lived rough for two years whilst also living in a flat for two years. What a peculiar story.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

This is like when she lived rough for two years whilst also living in a flat for two years. What a peculiar story.

'Peculiar' is of course French for 'a load of bollocks', oui?

 

[Cookiecookie]

I finally listened to that Radio Scotland car crash last night and holy guacamole that was a bin fire. Interestingly, that bollox maverick story about chucking all that tit in a pan with mandarin oranges that ended up being a ‘Brazilian feijoda’ wasn’t even original. She wheeled that same fascinating tale out for the Bournemouth Echo back in 2019. The ‘recipe’ (open tins and slop them into a pan then leave them) also ended up in her ‘repulsive ways to mix perfectly edible tins together’ book.

Spoiler: Spoiler for length

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Link: https://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/17693236.amp/

 

[SpudYouHate]

Back when JM was on the lesbian message board and we met her, before she had her son, maybe 13 years ago, she said she was doing some modelling with a bloke who was a friend, she posted some pics, the ones I remember were in mens suits and wedding dresses. None of us thought it was real modelling, more to help her mate. But she shared pics of course.

Like this 'modelling'?

 

[jenny2603]

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What on earth is she doing to black beans to make them heady and heavy?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

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Funnily enough, I’ve just found this from her. I’ll just pop it here. Without comment.

Also, OG Fraus, WTF was going on here?! It’s terrifying whatever it was! Is it a seance? Is she summoning demons?