Well in that context, Jack’s claimed 38E bra size means her waps are substantially bigger than Maria Whittaker’s or Sam Fox’s if that’s helpful
( . )( . )
Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jack Monroe Threads Wiki
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
( . )( . )
Your brain is not wired differently to other people's Jack (in terms of understanding food anyway, putting aside any personality disorders for the mo) - you just can't bleeping cook
. I don't see other people with autism producing the monstrosities you do.
Are you 5’2”? Are you sure you’re not 5’1.7”?
I too share Jack’s frame and height - bit smoller at 5’ and I bet that would piss her off. Enjoying a daydream where I meet her and say ‘Ooh you’re much taller in real life!’
Ooh she’s towering over me! Oh Jack you’re like a great big clod-hopping GIANT compared to me! 
Look, I think we can all agree she's the shortest person ever with the biggest bazongas known to man. Now duck OFF xWell in that context, Jack’s claimed 38E bra size means her waps are substantially bigger than Maria Whittaker’s or Sam Fox’s if that’s helpful
Grab 12 frozen meatballs from the freezer, brown in a bit of oil and butter, add garlic and 5 big mushrooms (sliced), salt and pepper. Let it go for 5 mins or so, add handful of frozen peas and half a cup of risotto rice (or sushi rice). Let it cook for a couple of minutes, add the 500ml or so of leftover thin soup (boiling) from two nights ago, lower the heat and walk away. Read Tattle, have a glass of wine, etc. Stir the rice every few minutes. When rice is cooked, add a knob of butter & cheese, let it rest and enjoy.
There you go - didn't take long to write, did it.
Or JOKE Monroe
Yeah she’s claiming Sam Fox proportions
Ahhh expected a Spartacus style commentary then
I'm Susie Dent
No I'm Susie Dent
I'm Susie Dent
No I'm Susie Dent
The shortest, most heavily tattooed with the biggest bazongas but an inexplicable barrel chest. Very special
She’s only held this title since tiny teeny Sali Hughes had a reduction though.The shortest, most heavily tattooed with the biggest bazongas but an inexplicable barrel chest. Very special
Jack, for whenever you next have a shower - we'd rather not hear your version of 'Touch Me', thanks
Oh LJC and the little donkey. Please no.
It's a bit burnt, isn't it? I would have done a snip on the photo and only shown the bottom half if I were her. Or maybe just thought better of the whole thing.
Such a grandiose introduction to a recipe that essentially reads like a beans-on-toast one. It makes the Jack parody account's recipes sound more inviting.
Don't be sad dear heart, most likely Cooper didn't take to Mini and she had to be rehomed, which was the best thing for her. Jack would never lose face by admitting it didn't work out.I can’t deal with Mini at all. Locked that one away and it’s never coming out. So sad
Exactly. I was a "gifted and talented" kid struggling with undiagnosed ADHD and managed 11.5 at A-C. That included applied art (double award) and textiles so was bleeping heavy on coursework. Absolute waste of that grammar school place. Even the bottom stream kids at my comp did better than her because they did a BTEC.
Is it bad that I’m not finding the parody account as funny as everyone else seems to be?
Yes, it’s bleeping amazing that it’s wound Jack up enough to post about it and drive more traffic there, but there’s a genuine opportunity through humour to show Jack’s grift and inconsistencies. It feels like the parody is wasted a bit going through recycled puns and one liners about being broke.
Yes, it’s bleeping amazing that it’s wound Jack up enough to post about it and drive more traffic there, but there’s a genuine opportunity through humour to show Jack’s grift and inconsistencies. It feels like the parody is wasted a bit going through recycled puns and one liners about being broke.
Sali Hughes might beg to differ...
Last edited:
I’ve found something, and it’s a doozy“Helped myself to some bread rolls at the big dinner at the G8 summit in 2013”
“Stealing food to survive, 2013”
“Stealing food to survive, 2013”
From trawling through many Jack threads on here -- especially the Daily Kitchen Live ones -- one thing that's always bugged me about Jack's cooking is how she uses the same technique for incorporating or mixing food. It's the same vigorous, hurried stirring for everything, regardless of the food texture and type, as if her life depends on it. No wonder virtually all her dishes end up looking like 50 Shades of Slop.
- Status