Can we please have this as the thread title after next. Just liked another squig suggestion up the page for the next one, these are comedy gold
Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets
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All I'm getting from the "very, very carefully" is that she is well aware this can easily turn into a mushy mess. Culinary genius that she is.'very, very carefully, using a spatula, remove the pancake and turn it over'
Or in normal parlance, not to meet some word count criteria and trying to appear cheffy - 'turn it over'.
This is very well put.
I think a lot of the categories are established but there is room for more - so much chaos this year.I’m happy to give it a go , if a more experienced Frau/The entire F+D thread are happy to give me some tips - as far as I can remember, it’s thread asking for categories then voting then final award webpage? Although if I do it, I can not promise there will be a crossword because I think you will find I won bragging rights last year for being fastest completer and the temptation to protect them by refusing any challengers may prove too tempting
She thinks she's being edgy, just like when she jokes about masterbation during her 'talks'. She needs to look up the word inappropriate before opening her gob, or her keyboard.‘I often get readers asking what they should do with a courgette and being a polite girl, I’m inclined to give an answer of the culinary variety.’
Really? You wrote that down? In a cookbook?
At least one of the knives isn't stainless steel, it's carbon steel. Holds an edge really well, but needs more care than stainless steel if it isn't to turn into a rusty mess. No, they're not supposed to look like that but Jack doesn't value or look after her possessions.
If we're doing the Sloppies this year, can we cancel the squig of the year category or whatever it was called?
A lot of the high-profile Jack haters are clearly on here, whether as posters or lurkers, so it feels weird.
A lot of the high-profile Jack haters are clearly on here, whether as posters or lurkers, so it feels weird.
I agree with this.
I think the only category that won't be absolutely stacked is Slop of The Year as she's thankfully hardly cooked anything.
Good to know, hadn't heard of those before! Think I'll stick to regular knives tbh
Laughter and mockery are absolutely the way to diffuse a flying monkey attack. They eventually self-combust through frustration and undirected rage. Very entertaining.
Have a good day mendacious ninnies-I’m off to work for 100 hours because I’m a bloody hero.
Can it just automatically go to Tom Potatoes?
OH had a rare moment of wisdom this morning as we chased the kids out of the house for school: "Jack Monroe doesn't want to solve poverty, or anyone else to solve poverty, or else she's got no income stream"
Jesus. When you think of it like that....... explains the crying and wailing, grifying and self serving but lack of actual tangible action or signposting.
Jesus. When you think of it like that....... explains the crying and wailing, grifying and self serving but lack of actual tangible action or signposting.
All they are doing is driving traffic
Jack Monroe
@bootstrap_cook
Parody cook. Former NatWest bank user, fire risk etc. Now accidental grifter, hoop rinser, influencer, TV celeb. Leave my mum’s spuds alone.
Joined September 2022
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We were watching Stanley Tucci last night. Still waiting for my recipes from Venice in Italian 
Also courgettes are extremely versatile and there’s lots you can do with them. If you can’t make a decent recipe from them you really are tit.
Also courgettes are extremely versatile and there’s lots you can do with them. If you can’t make a decent recipe from them you really are tit.
Indeed-so far so good!@Helena Handbasket... does that mean you have a 100% success rate so far? Makes you think...
Jack wouldn’t believe what the peoples of the internet can find out and do when they’re united in a cause!
Well she wrote an entire recipe for a prune smoothie with an intro that implied it’d make you tit yourself, so a bit of veg wanking seems on-brand for her.‘I often get readers asking what they should do with a courgette and being a polite girl, I’m inclined to give an answer of the culinary variety.’
Really? You wrote that down? In a cookbook?
Also, remember the days where she tried to go all Nigella with the sexy food names. Come to Bed Carbonara. Boak.
Which pair? She has many
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