Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets

[Serafina Pekkala]

A terrible cardigan, saggy t shirt and your dad's gifted watch?

OT but...
Dear @ChocolateMuffin I can't help noticing from your pic that you have a very strong and beautiful look.
Poise that JM could only dream of...
Yours
Serafina Pekkala

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I don’t think dear Mary was Lou’s first fantasy, I think she was the first woman she ever loved.
I had a pure and unrequited love for Morten from a-ha, doesn’t mean today I want a guy in a leather jacket and blue jeans to grow a quiff and ravage me whilst whispering in Norwegian.

I thought the same, another classic example of Jack inserting herself into every single bit of LJC’s life and trying to ruin her memories/make them all about her, from childhood favourite film to dead dogs on slop to naming pets after L’s dead pets.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Can we send thoughts and prayers to any fellows at the Monday meeting she haunts. Those poor buggers have probably had an earful of it tonight.

I doubt anything is mentioned in her real life. I doubt a meeting has ever been attended. A total SM fraud for cashos.
AA: Jack monroe? Who dat?

OT but...
Dear @ChocolateMuffin I can't help noticing from your pic that you have a very strong and beautiful look.
Poise that JM could only dream of...
Yours
Serafina Pekkala

It's a long and tragic tale dear heart.
TRIGGERED

 

[Valiofthedolls]

@Valiofthedolls please do Parliament Policeman who waved her in with no ID, quietly thanking her for all she does!

How about this one? It’s inadvertently GLORIOUS with her new profile pic “glamour shot” now attached to it.

Spoiler: “Resting Exhausted Face”

 

[LadyGarden]

There’s an FM who almost always appears in every thread anywhere and comes to her aid, they will be the very last one standing I think:

View attachment 1623963

There’s an FM who almost always appears in every thread anywhere and comes to her aid, they will be the very last one standing I think:

View attachment 1623963

Decent size account too. Tends to come charging in to defend the slopgoblin on a regular basis. Don't they know what happened to the last bunny associated with Jack? Be afraid squig, she takes no vet advice prisoners.

If Jack thought this was going to be her glorious return to Twatter then she seems to have scored an own goal. First Tom Potato Legend now Jack Parody gaining numerous followers off her caterwauling.

Heroes don't always wear capes, some of them just take the piss.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Kwasimate ....

She is never, ever going to live it down, is she.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

@Valiofthedolls please do Parliament Policeman who waved her in with no ID, quietly thanking her for all she does!

Also, just for you dear heart @HotesTilaire and thank(space)you for all that you do.

Spoiler: Parliament PoPo

Spoiler: Bonus Content: the two follow up Tweets

What a MASSIVE (bullshitting) twit she is. These are worse than I remembered

 

[AlwightDallin]

I just cannot at that face tuned beetle juice head profile pic WTF she’s even brightened her eyes like she’s been on the Bob martins, the pixels are all over the place FFS she might as well have posted a photo fit

 

[jenny2603]

Yes squiggo, let's have a dictatorship of people on Twitter that you like. Don't come crying to me when Jack puts you in front of a firing squad for failing to be suitably deferential.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Jack announces she's leaving twitter for good and then proceeds to come back on 3 days later to tweet and remind everyone for a second time that she's leaving. Just leave in silence!! Attention seeking or what

Made for Monroe.

 

[Vanelope]

Just had a look and shouldn't have, because the 'ouch - pointy things' is my anneurism, even more so than the dire state of some of those knives.
View attachment 1622049

Is a £100 global knife on the list of spendy things?

I knows because I wants it

 

[LadyGarden]

That Gingerbread party was ALL ABOUT HER.

She identifies as a single, struggling mother and gets a parliament party......that charity can go duck themselves.

Oh fuckin hell - I forgot to add my dire Gingerbread story last time the subject came up.

Spoiler: Long, not actually about edible gingerbread

Soooo, I joined the local Gingerbread group after becoming a single mum with my first child. Went to a social evening held in a back room at a local pub. Each person took a 'dish' to share with the group so I spent a shitload I couldn't really afford on my contribution. I was young and attractive back then (how times have changed). Spent the entire night fending off thirsty men who treated me like fresh meat whilst being glared at by the regular female attendees. Not one of them tried to 'be kind' to me and, in fact, two of them went out of their way to diss my strawberry pavlova (weird flex but there you go). It was my first night out after having my son 16 months previously and was so awful I ended up getting steaming drunk and crying in the toilet.

Meanwhile, even with the deleted tweet, Parody Jack is almost 1k up in terms of followers. Winner winner crappy Jack dinner.

 

[Mr Krabs]

What's creasing me about the new profile picture is that she clearly has a hidden stash on photos ready to go at any one time. Just a folder of unknown hilarity.

There is a Jack for every occasion, tender one.

 

[Vanelope]

That Parody Account needs to get out of Slopbot's niche. He's been satirising her for nearly two years and now this account's going to come along and STEAL our LIFE'S WORK. Our non-denominational lawyer has been informed. Warned!

They won’t have the bangers tho…

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

View attachment 1624197

Yes squiggo, let's have a dictatorship of people on Twitter that you like. Don't come crying to me when Jack puts you in front of a firing squad for failing to be suitably deferential.

Alistair Campbell? Are they for real?

 

[Nonah]

You know when kids “run away” from home with a little nap sack of crisps and a torch and a teddy but no one notices so they come back home all I RAN AWAY BY THE WAY.

That.

 

[jenny2603]

Alistair Campbell? Are they for real?

I'm also loving replacing the Tories with er... a Tory PM. FBPE Twitter is a binfire.

 

[Jelly Bean]

There is going to be stiff competition in The Sloppies in the squig catagory this year between (so far):
Tom Potatoes
Parody Jack
TD

All strong contenders.

 

[moosesauna]

When i was a student. I drank alot more than i ever did. I was out maybe 4 times a week and drinking ciders and whatnot. When i look back a photos of me then i definitely had a fatter face and rounder middle. Now a days i only go out about once a month and i rarely if ever drink at home and my face is definitely alot slimmer despite eating the same food.

Ditto, 'freshman 15' is a thing for a reason! Admittedly I also gave up the takeaway and most processed crap; sodium can cause bloating too.

 

[jenny2603]

There is going to be stiff competition in The Sloppies in the squig catagory this year between (so far):
Tom Potatoes
Parody Jack
TD

All strong contenders.

Honestly, I think the squigs have been so good this year they should all scoop the prize.