Jack Monroe #408 All those blue ticks holding her up like Simba

[usefullyuseless]

Spoiler: Terrible Karma Police parody song

Onion police, arrest Monroe
She talks Pythagoras, she buzzes like a fiend
She's terrible on the radio

Onion police, arrest Monroe
Her T&G hairdo is making me feel ill
And she has trashed the crappy bungalow

This is what you'll get
This is what you'll get
This is what you'll get
When you're fed the slop

Onion police, it's all from a can
It's not enough, not enough for a human
Being pursued by a pumble

This is what you'll get
This is what you'll get
This is what you'll get
When you're fed the slop

Slopbot does it better x

 

[LennyBriscoe]

The YouTube vids I saw last night seemed to be of Indian origin. Not sure what she thinks it will achieve

Jackbots Jackbots, loads of Jackbots
No wonder she has bought them they’re the only fans she’s got

ALLEGEDLY bought them Tom

 

[Nonah]

I’m back witches. Need to have a good old catch up. I very much enjoyed the Jack BAR episode and also had a go on the knitting one today which was highly entertaining. I have immediately cancelled my subscription but seem to still have access to all the paid content for the rest of the month which is a win.

 

[CausticYoda]

It’s just one little lie amongst the teeming sea of lies, but the idea that she rents a house worth £850k for just £1500 a month has long bugged me. Only one of those figures can be true.

We used to rent in N. London and our rent remained iro £1,200 for almost a decade because we were good tenants. In that time the house value went from £350-£650k, but the mortgage was long paid off and the owner wasn't an hole. So maybe it's a similar story with JM's landlady.

Tbh, that bungalow/chalet is worth £650-700k looking at similar properties currently being marketed in the area, but I don't think there's a huge market for that kind of property at the moment. The part of Thorpe Bay she's in seems very sedate and pensioner age to me, ie the traditional bungalow market. However, given a choice between an older property that needs a lot of upkeep, or a modern 'retirement' property, you'd go for something with insulation and uPVC window frames I reckon, and free up some equity. If you had mobility issues you'd probably avoid it due to STAIRS and the need for adaptations. Despite the large plot the work needed, new kitchen (lingering honk), upgrade the windows/doors to make it less draughty etc etc. Be easier to bulldoze it and build a nice big shiny house that would have a lot more appeal to the local crushed grey velour/hot tub brigade.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Remember this?

24/7 job.
House too small (yes, she's talking about the palatial crappy bungalow here).

Lol

 

[Captainmouse]

I had assumed the same - that the £1500 was merely her share of the rent, and that the total was more like £3000.

But if you search for "let agreed" 3 bed detached bungalows to rent in her area, the ones that come up are all around £1700 or £1800 - so actually £1500/month for a tenancy that was first agreed a few years ago doesn't actually seem to be completely unreasonable.

It does feel insanely cheap to me, but I'm used to paying London rents. I can't understand why she moans about it, given what she's earning!

Rent can be increased at lease renewal

 

[LennyBriscoe]

How much longer does she think this Smol Pixie with a tiny starving child thing is going to work? She is now pushing 40 with an almost teenaged son, and with all the opportunities she has had - opportunities that most other people can only dream of - the fact that she is still crying poverty must mean that surely even the most die-hard fans must be starting to think her (claims of) current poverty can only be a self-inflicted choice/cos play..

ETA: I thought she was 36, but just googled and she is 34, so my 'pushing 40' comment was a but premature, but nevertheless, mid 30s with the media career she has been given means she should really have her tit together by now!

BiB - you’re taking your life in your hands there AK, she’s only 34

 

[houseofhoop]

Remember this?

View attachment 1616026

24/7 job.
House too small (yes, she's talking about the palatial crappy bungalow here).

Lol

Hmm I recon the lockdown exposed exactly how LITTLE work Jack actually did - and that’s the real reason. It must have been quite a moment when her partner saw what Jacks 100 hour working week actually looked like.

 

[The carlin]

Well hello there!

Well, I did it, I actually did it. I made it up to date.

I'm usually a lurker and then mostly on the Alice Evans threads but have popped over here for the Goss at times cos I've never liked JM. Anyway I decided to catch up fully from when Old Harold 'HE LEFT'. I cannot belive it but it's taken me the whole of September to catch up. Never mind losing hours, I lost a whole month, on JM, one delicious thread after another. I feel like I've climbed a mountain.

I just want to thank you all for the laughs and the forensic receipt keeping. Its oh so satisfying as someone who has actually lived in poverty seeing her parasitic poverty tourism being called out for what it is.

Keep up the good work

 

[OkTinkerbell]

Around 2:33:30 for me? Wow, soooooo nasal. Gross, especially compared with the soothing, dulcet crystal clear accent of the host.

Listening to her is actually making me gag because of how nasal she is, it turns my stomach .

 

[Ablemabel]

Remember this?

View attachment 1616026

24/7 job.
House too small (yes, she's talking about the palatial crappy bungalow here).

Lol

It's those comments that reveal her true self. House too small? LFC it's a pretty substantial detached property. My house during lockdown was a half the size terrace and there were 5 of us in it and I considered myself very bloody lucky. Nothing is good enough for her. She sees bigger, which she believes to be better and thinks 'why shouldn't I have that'. It's ludicrous and gross.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I listened to the radio thing in full.
I also made the burgers and they didn’t work and were tasteless.
She says nothing about seasonal food, pricing fresh/frozen, stretching meals out (like using less meat), things like Lidl veg of the week deals. Totally pointless.

 

[LadyGarden]

PSA for newer fraus, I think I've cracked efficient searching for topics (on my PC), but if anyone has a better way please please let me know!

Hit SEARCH on the top right of the screen, then ADVANCED SEARCH
From the blue bar options above the search fields click SEARCH THREADS
Put your search term e.g. "LBC" or "Costwold Company" in KEYWORDS
Scroll down the fields to SEARCH IN FORUMS and select BLOGGERS (I can't see any way of narrowing it down further to just Jack, but most search terms are very Jack-specific anyway)
Under this are the ORDER BY fields - select DATE so you can easily see chaos kick-off vs subsequent hilarity, then hit SEARCH

This does not compare to the machine-like glorious mental filing and recall of the onlie begetters of this canal, but it does help.

Go well x

Thank(space)you tender one.

Other fraus no longer need to see Topless Jack in order to find the SB smoking ad.

ETA: No idea if this was ever a real advert

 

[Clarends]

Thank(space)you tender one.

Other fraus no longer need to see Topless Jack in order to find the SB smoking ad.

ETA: No idea if this was ever a real advert

View attachment 1616054

Thank you. Very strange.
I think she would have rather been a model than a saviour of the poor.

Whenever I thought of putting my children in the media (I didnt) I thought of Christopher Robin. He didn't like it.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Mr Goat and I managed to get and stay married during an extended lockdown in a two (but officially one) bedroom flat with no outdoor access and only one desk so I’d like to call utter bullshit on it being lockdown as opposed to, say, Jack’s entire personality, that “kablammed” her relationship with LJC.

I just really, really hope this increasing exposure doesn’t stir up a whole raft of poor quality articles which miss the point and give fuel to Jack’s supporters. I managed a couple of sentences of Sunday Woman and gave the duck up. I need Don’t F*ck With Cats levels of forensic detail or I’m out.

 

[Foxvint]

It's those comments that reveal her true self. House too small? LFC it's a pretty substantial detached property. My house during lockdown was a half the size terrace and there were 5 of us in it and I considered myself very bloody lucky. Nothing is good enough for her. She sees bigger, which she believes to be better and thinks 'why shouldn't I have that'. It's ludicrous and gross.

Yes! That sense of entitlement is a very middle class giveaway.

 

[Mr Krabs]

PSA for newer fraus, I think I've cracked efficient searching for topics (on my PC), but if anyone has a better way please please let me know!

Hit SEARCH on the top right of the screen, then ADVANCED SEARCH
From the blue bar options above the search fields click SEARCH THREADS
Put your search term e.g. "LBC" or "Costwold Company" in KEYWORDS
Scroll down the fields to SEARCH IN FORUMS and select BLOGGERS (I can't see any way of narrowing it down further to just Jack, but most search terms are very Jack-specific anyway)
Under this are the ORDER BY fields - select DATE so you can easily see chaos kick-off vs subsequent hilarity, then hit SEARCH

This does not compare to the machine-like glorious mental filing and recall of the onlie begetters of this canal, but it does help.

Go well x

Or just Google Jack Monroe plus keyword. For example ‘Jack Monroe sticky brown poo’ or ‘Jack Monroe burger sex’ or ‘Jack Monroe eye patch’. Nine times out of ten you’ll get a tattle post!

Hmm I recon the lockdown exposed exactly how LITTLE work Jack actually did - and that’s the real reason. It must have been quite a moment when her partner saw what Jacks 100 hour working week actually looked like.

Plus McDonald’s was closed and only an hour of exercise allowed. You’d actually have to eat the slop or die, instead of making pretend nommy noises like when your kid makes you a play doh cake, then sneaking off for a big mac bike ride.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Christmas party venue suggestion!

 

[Yel]

Or just Google Jack Monroe plus keyword. For example ‘Jack Monroe sticky brown poo’ or ‘Jack Monroe burger sex’ or ‘Jack Monroe eye patch’. Nine times out of ten you’ll get a tattle post!

And every click through to tattle where someone then spends some time reading tells google it's a good link so should be boosted

 

[auntylil]

Remember this?

View attachment 1616026

24/7 job.
House too small (yes, she's talking about the palatial crappy bungalow here).

Lol

This disgusts me, spoilt ! All those rooms we know the non-crappy dormer bungalow has. She's bleeping awful.
Jack Monroe middle class grifter just doesn't know how LUCKY she had it, during lockdown.