Jack Monroe #408 All those blue ticks holding her up like Simba

[Serafina Pekkala]

First post here, so sorry if am jumping in at random or not tattling properly but must tell someone this...

Proudest achievement of my adult life, this year, this week, was working out what t.d. stood for and then, in manner of Wagatha Christie, identifying the Trifle Defender.

ThankSpaceYou...
would send cattos if gave a duck...


ETA to say am a short term binger and not a long time lurker, that is to come...

P.p.s am very sorry to have done a swear. First time mistake. Only just spotted it meself

 

[Sideboard Bob]

First post here, so sorry if am jumping in at random or not tattling properly but must tell someone this...

Proudest achievement of my adult life, this year, this week, was working out what t.d. stood for and then, in manner of Wagatha Christie, identifying the Trifle Defender.

ThankSpaceYou...
would send cattos if gave a duck...


ETA to say am a short term binger and not a long time lurker, that is to come...

Welcome! Yay another night frau, unless you’re in a different time zone! I LOVE that you figured out TD! She’s like one of us, without being “one of us”.

I just saw your other post, apologising for doing a swear, that’s fine! Now duck off! x

 

[Wooh]

The Will Farrell/Tom Jones chaos is very funny to me

Back to Jack, I've got 99 tins and none of them need her intervention

 

[Serafina Pekkala]

Welcome! Yay another night frau, unless you’re in a different time zone! I LOVE that you figured out TD! She’s like one of us, without being “one of us”.

I just saw your other post, apologising for doing a swear, that’s fine! Now duck off! x

Night Frau! What an accolade... and on the same day that I joined the cool girl gang. Definitely not a place I've been before...

 

[Sketchy]

I've pondered that before, if her family just shrug off these things she comes out with, as Jack has to 'keep up an image'. Perhaps they knew beforehand that they might read some exaggerated things in the press, but it's just Jack playing the media game. I'd be surprised if they'd be content with friends and neighbours reading these things though and believing them. But who knows, folk are odd sometimes .

Exactly. And if the answer is that Monroe was lying all along - or even exaggerating - she deserves everything that's coming to her! And more power to Molly and everyone else who's calling her out. It'll be interesting to see if she ever returns to Twitter. Can't help wondering how all the blue tick enablers are feeling right now. Suitably ashamed and embarrassed I hope.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’m glad we had the Radio Scotland chaos because I know she’s working BTS (on being Jack) we’ll get to the point where people feel bad for her then BAM she’ll pop up doing a q&a of “tell me the best ways to get over a relapse” or “which of these wedding dresses should I get” and just like that, any worry will evaporate, for she is, and always will be, a bleep.

 

[Wooh]

I’m glad we had the Radio Scotland chaos because I know she’s working BTS (on being Jack) we’ll get to the point where people feel bad for her then BAM she’ll pop up doing a q&a of “tell me the best ways to get over a relapse” or “which of these wedding dresses should I get” and just like that, any worry will evaporate, for she is, and always will be, a bleep.

I'm very fond of, and am always impressed by, the statements Tattlers write for Jack's response to controversy. Jack would be wise to use them verbatim

 

[hoopdedoo]

In her recent Ediburgh talk she apparently said that the police found her weighing small quantities of MSG (white powder) when they came round on that recent malicious welfare check.

Oh FFS. The only people measuring out small quantities of MSG are manufacturers packaging it for sale. If she's going to lie about what kind of white powder the popo found her with in the kitchen, she could at least try to make it semi-plausible, like baking powder or bicarbonate. But no, she's Jack, and so she expects everyone to believe any old shite that she comes up with

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Her fans are so, so thick.

 

[Captainmouse]

Update.

View attachment 1616960

FTFY

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

I think that was a typo and they meant @heretoreaditall2019

How strange - my post is still there. No typo just being down with the kids and abbreviating heretoreaditall’s handle. It’s what Vivienne would’ve wanted.

 

[Jelly Bean]

It suits her better to say 'its meticulous work and it will take AGES' because that helps with the grift.

We all know she was never going to produce the VBI. Not least of all because it's beyond her capabilities. She just hoped enough time would pass that people would forget. Or do what many did and assume that it already existed.

Remember her cockiness saying it should take a weekend to pull it together? Then a reverse ferret a few months later with 'I never said it would take a weekend to complete it, but a weekend to start working on it'
I imagine she did actually start some work on it. But quickly realised it was complicated, boring and well beyond her capabilities. But she had done some media rounds by then about it, and idiotic Nigella had directed over 300 new Patreons her direction off the back of it so she just kept quiet and hoped everyone would forget about it.
There is not one iota of doubt she has not 'worked' on it for many many months. I imagine the most she could produce is a couple of pages of A4 scribbled notes. And all those poor sods sending in their bloody receipts to her.

 

[That Forensic Man]

It's haturday
Made some rough estimates on the fillers/botox/haircuts/tattoos, a bit hand wavy but none of them are cheap and also I'm loathe to minimise or not include them when Jack spends to excess on everything else. Like how much she's raking in from patreon etc. they're probably underestimated.
Getting the bookcases from Argos instead of Ikea dropped the cost from £1,740 to £588, that's a thrifty tip, although I suppose most people don't buy dozens of the same thing like Jack.

Spoiler: thankyou stocktakers x

@That Forensic Man some more items triangulated.

Spoiler: More excessive consumerism

Ted Baker pyjamas - similar sets are £49 on their site.
The candlesticks/holders are H&M, total cost around £100.
Lip filler is about £250 a ml. As a former lip filler frau I would say she's getting at least 1ml at least twice a year.
If memory serves the veg planters are VegTrugs. Currently £100 on Amazon but full RRP is £140. Unsure how many she has.

Doesn't she get her hair cut at Toni & Guy? Cut & blowdry with no extra treatments at the Southend salon is minimum £55, maximum £77
View attachment 1615357
Edit - and she doesn't have hair streaming halfway down her back like I do so she can't get away with getting it cut every six months, it's probably every 3 months at a minimum.

Amazing work @That Forensic Man & other clever ninnies, chapeau x
I’ve searched past threads and couldn’t see that this Instagram look had been costed before? Huge apols if I’m duplicating old news, but I’ve worked it out at a minimum £98.91 (mini sizes where available & combined blusher and bronzer palette) to a maximum £134.11. Jack was very clear that there was no sponsorship or freebies.
View attachment 1615345
View attachment 1615346

Wow. Such poor. Much thrifty.
Those earrings don't look cheap either. She likes her drop hoop earrings, does Jack.

Sorry if already posted but I recall Jack saying the bookcases were from Argos - she bought around seven in one go. I'm presuming they are these (or similar), and they were *definitely* not 60 quid at the time, probably half that a few years ago.View attachment 1617021

Actually, the bookcases look more like the 'narrow' ones, which are currently £48. Flat-pack furniture has gone up horribly recently and, to cut Jack some slack (nope, still haven't got the handle of this snark lark... ) they were not these kind of prices a few years ago, probably closer to £30. Still a lot to fork out in one go when you're impoverished. Makes you think.

I bought some of this range in 2017 (they're actually really decent quality for "flat pack") I have attached clips of my Argos receipts for you (forensic)

Spoiler: big spenny

£428 fancy knobs
£250 magnetic Allegra spice jars
£315 (assuming there are only 7 but I think it’s more) on snake charmer kitchen baskets
£95 Abigail Aherne grey hare table lamp
£72 antique bird of paradise porcelain door knobs and finger plates (bedroom door)
(+£432 if she's done the other say 6 internal doors as well)
£25 wooden calculator (unused)
£100 pigskin hat
£35 two-headed Skellington dog plastic Halloween decoration
£339 All Saints belfern suede biker jacket
£155 Morris & Co. Strawberry Thief curtains (median price £65-245)
£1,550 2x Tiffany pearl hoop earrings sterling silver (two pairs)
£150 DM boots (other ones, not the willow ones mentioned upthread)
£104 rusty eBay spoons
£110 2x Oliver Bonas jumpers
£80 Emma Bridgewater toaster with TOASTER on it
£780 At least two Burberry scarves: one for her and one for LJC
£110 Crosley cruiser suitcase turntable ('SB's' bedroom)
£800 77 Lipsticks
£200 14 Foundations
£250 40 Eyeliners
£500 misc makeup
£320 2x Roberts Revival Mini radio
£158 orange nike trainers (asda trip)
£1,200 8x kendal dining chairs
£425 Graham and Green birdcage lampshade
£65 test tube vases
£35 boiler suit (which was dyed pink)
£10 squid game guard mask from the market
£44 per roll wallpaper used as ADHD friendly “to-do” list
£300 kitchen aid
£20 black pleather Primark boots with chain
£499 Dyson fan
£65 SimpleHuman hand soap dispenser (kitchen)
£60 squatty potty
£535 custom captain's chair
£110 Two pairs of granny curtain boiler suits
£400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
£229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
£799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
£849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
£399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
£2,396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
£1,529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
£299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
£800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
£499 Cotswold Company chester wine console
£599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
£699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
£800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak shoe storage bench
£730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
£300 suit she wore for the Diva photoshoot
£300 dyson hairdryer
£1199 water rower
£400 John Lewis hammock
£400 John Lewis egg chair
£400 20x John Lewis clear plastic storage bins
£290 Baywood 33 drawer tea chest
£30 John Lewis Perspex cube pasta storage with pink lids
£20 full set of oversized unicorns/animal mugs from Asda
£300 sentient mirror
£360 2x nike trainers (exc. orange ones)
£120 24" TV for SB's PlayStation
£2,500 Smeg fridge (double American style)
£300 2x Viv westwood dress (assume sale)
£75 Sweaty Betty leggings
£170 Lumie alarm clock
£200 R&P bras (x 2 minimum)
£199 Airpods
£249 Airpods pro
£199 Apple Watch (assume series 3)
£250 Sleeper to Edinburgh last min on a Friday
£309 3 nights at Eden Locke, Edinburgh
£170 Last minute train home on a Monday morning
£700 Vets bills
£20 Sad Asda shop
£80 2x summit camping stove (shed)
£400 ooni pizza oven (freebie)
£60 3x “tiles” for locating lost keys/phones by internet magic
£12 2x dylon machine dye
£180 12x moleskin notebooks
~£1,000 unread books (estimate)
£100 CUDDLY TOY (Hamleys)
£640 6x DAB radios
£60 Lego flower bouquet
£60 Rock tumbler
£2,200 content
£600 Emin
£15 6x ring binders (for coroner's reports)
£1,790 Burberry classic trench coat
£5,000 Burberry brit jacket ($5-6k)
£350 Warm & wonderful diana sheep jumper
£60 Boy london snap back black/gold hat ($60)
£1,000 Unidentified Cotswold(?) cupboard/wardrobe
£10 horrendous steam punk clock leggings (worn once)
£525 35x moleskin notebooks
£119 Hatteras pigskin leather cap dark brown (wax suede stetson hat)
£56 7x Wilko snake charmer kitchen baskets
£479 Nespresso creatista plus coffee machine (doesn't drink coffee)
£199 Bodyclock luxe 700FM alarm clock
£66 Tatty Devine Fishbone necklace
£485 Tiffany 1837 Makers I.D. Tag Pendant in Sterling Silver, 24" (worn at arcade fire gig)
£249 Peak Design rucksack (asda romp)
£245 'Edinburgh book festival' Russell & Bromley chester tassel loafer (dubious provenance)
£245 'Downing Street' leopard monstrosities with block heels
£245 assumed third pair of 'spenny loafers'
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£960 8x Ikea billy bookcase wide white
£444 3x Ikea billy bookcase wide wood effect
£336 3x Ikea billy bookcase narrow wood effect
£140 4x Ikea hejne 'cheapo shoe racks' for seasonal crockery
£72 9x Ikea knagglig wooden box
£324 2x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Dinnerware Set, White, 12 Piece (4x Dinner Plates, 4x Salad Plates, 4x Cereal Bowls)
£92 4x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Mugs, White, Box of 2
£19 Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Cream Jug, White
£136 8x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Pasta Bowl, Dia.23.5cm, White
~£200 more random Sophie Conran for Portmeirion tit (see instagram)
£294 'I can't forget' screenprint navy/raspberry
~£2,000 438x baubles
£2,000 cooker
£80 Nokia 3310
£1050 3x chest freezers
£70 Dunelm Retro 20L 800W Pink Digital Microwave
£28 John Lewis llama doorstop
£40 Vintage ferguson radio casette recorder
£18 H&M peacock gold candlestick
~£180 10x other gold candlesticks (estimated)

Spoiler: new/updated

£49 Ted Baker pyjamas
£100 10x H&M gold candlesticks
£116 Instagram look
~£420 3x VegTrugs (unknown quantity)
~£1,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 2 years)
~£900 botox (estimate, £300/3 areas x 3 treatments)
~£1,056 haircuts at Toni & Guy, Woo Hair etc. (estimate, £66 x 4 per year x 4 years)
~£3,000 2x tattoo sleeves (estimate, £1,500 per sleeve)
£150 wire racking (kept outside)
£30 flamingo neon light
£60 mary poppins parrot umbrella
£384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
£144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
£60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect
£80 2x Ikea helmer white 6 drawer unit

Total: £55,307 £61,092

Spoiler: TBC - forensic ninnies apply within

The new pair of boots she bought after wearing the taped together pair for a while on TV (despite having other pairs ...?)
Artificial snow
many wigs
plastic flower headdress phase
“£5” denim cargo trousers from Primark
Multiple phones
SPITE SOFA
Le Creuset
furniture and set dressing for the shed outside that she was going to turn into a studio
lawnmower
bikes
tents
Ten (at least) outdoor chairs for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things
The hen with the rubber eggs for nesting hens?
dusty plastics string of pearls plant
wallpaper backgrounds
desktop Mac type set up
laptops for 'team of staff'
squishy sofa
velvet sofabed
baskets
countertop oven
leather armchairs
calvin klein sportswear
smeg fridge (small, broken?)
more ray ban sunglasses
drinking glasses (content approved)
high quality crystal clear food storage containers (shitloads)
red teardrop drop hoop earrings

Instagram zone

fancy crockery (shitloads)
food storage (shitloads, kilner jars etc.)

'limited edition' vest -

red suit foodism awards -

bedroom of lies -

dog cushions -

seasonal crockery (shitloads) - https://www.instagram.com/p/BattqwYAd4R/

2x 6 drawer units - https://www.instagram.com/p/BP_nDFPBj3K/

Spoiler: stocktake T&Cs

Anything spenny is fair game, but I'll add whatever fraus want.
My own benchmark is discretionary or 'non-essential' spend in the context of someone who claims to not be able to afford shower gel or 6p for butter instead of lard etc.
Jack moves things around constantly so try to avoid double counting.
Instagram is a literal and figurative gold mine (see TBC spoiler).
If I like your stocktake post it means I've seen it and will include in the next update.
Have fun.
Now duck off x

She’s probably lost the password and gotten locked out of the special gmail she set up [email protected]

Quite possible, she hasn't touched vimesbootindex or justjackmonroe for a while (last active dates). Recommend jackmonroediary or maybe cookingonabootstrap for requesting refunds etc.
25/09/2022 [email protected] ('events & requests' or anything work related)
25/08/2022 [email protected] ('upcoming book queries')
24/01/2022 [email protected]
07/12/2021 [email protected] ('generic things')
Makes you think.

 

[AyiaKnacker]

The hats are amazing! Thanks mods. Absolute at the jaunty fit on @BlendedSlop, @Emmapism, and @Sideboard Bob but the Jimmy Nail‘s smacked arse face contrasted with the smol smol chapeau softly gently sported by @Nottonightbabe is my fave.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

It's haturday
Made some rough estimates on the fillers/botox/haircuts/tattoos, a bit hand wavy but none of them are cheap and also I'm loathe to minimise or not include them when Jack spends to excess on everything else. Like how much she's raking in from patreon etc. they're probably underestimated.
Getting the bookcases from Argos instead of Ikea dropped the cost from £1,740 to £588, that's a thrifty tip, although I suppose most people don't buy dozens of the same thing like Jack.

Spoiler: big spenny

£428 fancy knobs
£250 magnetic Allegra spice jars
£315 (assuming there are only 7 but I think it’s more) on snake charmer kitchen baskets
£95 Abigail Aherne grey hare table lamp
£72 antique bird of paradise porcelain door knobs and finger plates (bedroom door)
(+£432 if she's done the other say 6 internal doors as well)
£25 wooden calculator (unused)
£100 pigskin hat
£35 two-headed Skellington dog plastic Halloween decoration
£339 All Saints belfern suede biker jacket
£155 Morris & Co. Strawberry Thief curtains (median price £65-245)
£1,550 2x Tiffany pearl hoop earrings sterling silver (two pairs)
£150 DM boots (other ones, not the willow ones mentioned upthread)
£104 rusty eBay spoons
£110 2x Oliver Bonas jumpers
£80 Emma Bridgewater toaster with TOASTER on it
£780 At least two Burberry scarves: one for her and one for LJC
£110 Crosley cruiser suitcase turntable ('SB's' bedroom)
£800 77 Lipsticks
£200 14 Foundations
£250 40 Eyeliners
£500 misc makeup
£320 2x Roberts Revival Mini radio
£158 orange nike trainers (asda trip)
£1,200 8x kendal dining chairs
£425 Graham and Green birdcage lampshade
£65 test tube vases
£35 boiler suit (which was dyed pink)
£10 squid game guard mask from the market
£44 per roll wallpaper used as ADHD friendly “to-do” list
£300 kitchen aid
£20 black pleather Primark boots with chain
£499 Dyson fan
£65 SimpleHuman hand soap dispenser (kitchen)
£60 squatty potty
£535 custom captain's chair
£110 Two pairs of granny curtain boiler suits
£400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
£229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
£799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
£849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
£399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
£2,396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
£1,529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
£299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
£800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
£499 Cotswold Company chester wine console
£599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
£699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
£800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak shoe storage bench
£730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
£300 suit she wore for the Diva photoshoot
£300 dyson hairdryer
£1199 water rower
£400 John Lewis hammock
£400 John Lewis egg chair
£400 20x John Lewis clear plastic storage bins
£290 Baywood 33 drawer tea chest
£30 John Lewis Perspex cube pasta storage with pink lids
£20 full set of oversized unicorns/animal mugs from Asda
£300 sentient mirror
£360 2x nike trainers (exc. orange ones)
£120 24" TV for SB's PlayStation
£2,500 Smeg fridge (double American style)
£300 2x Viv westwood dress (assume sale)
£75 Sweaty Betty leggings
£170 Lumie alarm clock
£200 R&P bras (x 2 minimum)
£199 Airpods
£249 Airpods pro
£199 Apple Watch (assume series 3)
£250 Sleeper to Edinburgh last min on a Friday
£309 3 nights at Eden Locke, Edinburgh
£170 Last minute train home on a Monday morning
£700 Vets bills
£20 Sad Asda shop
£80 2x summit camping stove (shed)
£400 ooni pizza oven (freebie)
£60 3x “tiles” for locating lost keys/phones by internet magic
£12 2x dylon machine dye
£180 12x moleskin notebooks
~£1,000 unread books (estimate)
£100 CUDDLY TOY (Hamleys)
£640 6x DAB radios
£60 Lego flower bouquet
£60 Rock tumbler
£2,200 content
£600 Emin
£15 6x ring binders (for coroner's reports)
£1,790 Burberry classic trench coat
£5,000 Burberry brit jacket ($5-6k)
£350 Warm & wonderful diana sheep jumper
£60 Boy london snap back black/gold hat ($60)
£1,000 Unidentified Cotswold(?) cupboard/wardrobe
£10 horrendous steam punk clock leggings (worn once)
£525 35x moleskin notebooks
£119 Hatteras pigskin leather cap dark brown (wax suede stetson hat)
£56 7x Wilko snake charmer kitchen baskets
£479 Nespresso creatista plus coffee machine (doesn't drink coffee)
£199 Bodyclock luxe 700FM alarm clock
£66 Tatty Devine Fishbone necklace
£485 Tiffany 1837 Makers I.D. Tag Pendant in Sterling Silver, 24" (worn at arcade fire gig)
£249 Peak Design rucksack (asda romp)
£245 'Edinburgh book festival' Russell & Bromley chester tassel loafer (dubious provenance)
£245 'Downing Street' leopard monstrosities with block heels
£245 assumed third pair of 'spenny loafers'
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£960 8x Ikea billy bookcase wide white
£444 3x Ikea billy bookcase wide wood effect
£336 3x Ikea billy bookcase narrow wood effect
£140 4x Ikea hejne 'cheapo shoe racks' for seasonal crockery
£72 9x Ikea knagglig wooden box
£324 2x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Dinnerware Set, White, 12 Piece (4x Dinner Plates, 4x Salad Plates, 4x Cereal Bowls)
£92 4x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Mugs, White, Box of 2
£19 Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Cream Jug, White
£136 8x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Pasta Bowl, Dia.23.5cm, White
~£200 more random Sophie Conran for Portmeirion tit (see instagram)
£294 'I can't forget' screenprint navy/raspberry
~£2,000 438x baubles
£2,000 cooker
£80 Nokia 3310
£1050 3x chest freezers
£70 Dunelm Retro 20L 800W Pink Digital Microwave
£28 John Lewis llama doorstop
£40 Vintage ferguson radio casette recorder
£18 H&M peacock gold candlestick
~£180 10x other gold candlesticks (estimated)

Spoiler: new/updated

£49 Ted Baker pyjamas
£100 10x H&M gold candlesticks
£116 Instagram look
~£420 3x VegTrugs (unknown quantity)
~£1,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 2 years)
~£900 botox (estimate, £300/3 areas x 3 treatments)
~£1,056 haircuts at Toni & Guy, Woo Hair etc. (estimate, £66 x 4 per year x 4 years)
~£3,000 2x tattoo sleeves (estimate, £1,500 per sleeve)
£150 wire racking (kept outside)
£30 flamingo neon light
£60 mary poppins parrot umbrella
£384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
£144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
£60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect

Total: £55,307 £61,012

Spoiler: TBC - forensic ninnies apply within

The new pair of boots she bought after wearing the taped together pair for a while on TV (despite having other pairs ...?)
Artificial snow
many wigs
plastic flower headdress phase
“£5” denim cargo trousers from Primark
Multiple phones
SPITE SOFA
Le Creuset
furniture and set dressing for the shed outside that she was going to turn into a studio
lawnmower
bikes
tents
Ten (at least) outdoor chairs for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things
The hen with the rubber eggs for nesting hens?
dusty plastics string of pearls plant
wallpaper backgrounds
desktop Mac type set up
laptops for 'team of staff'
squishy sofa
velvet sofabed
baskets
countertop oven
leather armchairs
calvin klein sportswear
smeg fridge (small, broken?)
more ray ban sunglasses
drinking glasses (content approved)
high quality crystal clear food storage containers (shitloads)
red teardrop drop hoop earrings

Instagram zone

fancy crockery (shitloads)
food storage (shitloads, kilner jars etc.)

'limited edition' vest -

red suit foodism awards -

bedroom of lies -

dog cushions -

seasonal crockery (shitloads) - https://www.instagram.com/p/BattqwYAd4R/

2x 6 drawer units - https://www.instagram.com/p/BP_nDFPBj3K/

Spoiler: stocktake T&Cs

Anything spenny is fair game, but I'll add whatever fraus want.
My own benchmark is discretionary or 'non-essential' spend in the context of someone who claims to not be able to afford shower gel or 6p for butter instead of lard etc.
Jack moves things around constantly so try to avoid double counting.
Instagram is a literal and figurative gold mine (see TBC spoiler).
If I like your stocktake post it means I've seen it and will include in the next update.
Have fun.
Now duck off x

Quite possible, she hasn't touched vimesbootindex or justjackmonroe for a while (last active dates). Recommend jackmonroediary or maybe cookingonabootstrap for requesting refunds etc.
25/09/2022 [email protected] ('events, requests')
25/08/2022 [email protected] ('upcoming book queries')
24/01/2022 [email protected]
07/12/2021 [email protected] ('generic things')
Makes you think.

The two drawer units look like these Ikea ones without the feet

HELMER white, Drawer unit on castors, 28x69 cm - IKEA

HELMER white, Drawer unit on castors, 28x69 cm. Slot for label on each drawer so you can easily keep things organised and find what you are looking for. Drawer stops prevent the drawer from being pulled out too far. Easy to move where it is needed thanks to castors.

www.ikea.com

 

[HotesTilaire]

It's haturday
Made some rough estimates on the fillers/botox/haircuts/tattoos, a bit hand wavy but none of them are cheap and also I'm loathe to minimise or not include them when Jack spends to excess on everything else. Like how much she's raking in from patreon etc. they're probably underestimated.
Getting the bookcases from Argos instead of Ikea dropped the cost from £1,740 to £588, that's a thrifty tip, although I suppose most people don't buy dozens of the same thing like Jack.

Spoiler: big spenny

£428 fancy knobs
£250 magnetic Allegra spice jars
£315 (assuming there are only 7 but I think it’s more) on snake charmer kitchen baskets
£95 Abigail Aherne grey hare table lamp
£72 antique bird of paradise porcelain door knobs and finger plates (bedroom door)
(+£432 if she's done the other say 6 internal doors as well)
£25 wooden calculator (unused)
£100 pigskin hat
£35 two-headed Skellington dog plastic Halloween decoration
£339 All Saints belfern suede biker jacket
£155 Morris & Co. Strawberry Thief curtains (median price £65-245)
£1,550 2x Tiffany pearl hoop earrings sterling silver (two pairs)
£150 DM boots (other ones, not the willow ones mentioned upthread)
£104 rusty eBay spoons
£110 2x Oliver Bonas jumpers
£80 Emma Bridgewater toaster with TOASTER on it
£780 At least two Burberry scarves: one for her and one for LJC
£110 Crosley cruiser suitcase turntable ('SB's' bedroom)
£800 77 Lipsticks
£200 14 Foundations
£250 40 Eyeliners
£500 misc makeup
£320 2x Roberts Revival Mini radio
£158 orange nike trainers (asda trip)
£1,200 8x kendal dining chairs
£425 Graham and Green birdcage lampshade
£65 test tube vases
£35 boiler suit (which was dyed pink)
£10 squid game guard mask from the market
£44 per roll wallpaper used as ADHD friendly “to-do” list
£300 kitchen aid
£20 black pleather Primark boots with chain
£499 Dyson fan
£65 SimpleHuman hand soap dispenser (kitchen)
£60 squatty potty
£535 custom captain's chair
£110 Two pairs of granny curtain boiler suits
£400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
£229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
£799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
£849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
£399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
£2,396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
£1,529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
£299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
£800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
£499 Cotswold Company chester wine console
£599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
£699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
£800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak shoe storage bench
£730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
£300 suit she wore for the Diva photoshoot
£300 dyson hairdryer
£1199 water rower
£400 John Lewis hammock
£400 John Lewis egg chair
£400 20x John Lewis clear plastic storage bins
£290 Baywood 33 drawer tea chest
£30 John Lewis Perspex cube pasta storage with pink lids
£20 full set of oversized unicorns/animal mugs from Asda
£300 sentient mirror
£360 2x nike trainers (exc. orange ones)
£120 24" TV for SB's PlayStation
£2,500 Smeg fridge (double American style)
£300 2x Viv westwood dress (assume sale)
£75 Sweaty Betty leggings
£170 Lumie alarm clock
£200 R&P bras (x 2 minimum)
£199 Airpods
£249 Airpods pro
£199 Apple Watch (assume series 3)
£250 Sleeper to Edinburgh last min on a Friday
£309 3 nights at Eden Locke, Edinburgh
£170 Last minute train home on a Monday morning
£700 Vets bills
£20 Sad Asda shop
£80 2x summit camping stove (shed)
£400 ooni pizza oven (freebie)
£60 3x “tiles” for locating lost keys/phones by internet magic
£12 2x dylon machine dye
£180 12x moleskin notebooks
~£1,000 unread books (estimate)
£100 CUDDLY TOY (Hamleys)
£640 6x DAB radios
£60 Lego flower bouquet
£60 Rock tumbler
£2,200 content
£600 Emin
£15 6x ring binders (for coroner's reports)
£1,790 Burberry classic trench coat
£5,000 Burberry brit jacket ($5-6k)
£350 Warm & wonderful diana sheep jumper
£60 Boy london snap back black/gold hat ($60)
£1,000 Unidentified Cotswold(?) cupboard/wardrobe
£10 horrendous steam punk clock leggings (worn once)
£525 35x moleskin notebooks
£119 Hatteras pigskin leather cap dark brown (wax suede stetson hat)
£56 7x Wilko snake charmer kitchen baskets
£479 Nespresso creatista plus coffee machine (doesn't drink coffee)
£199 Bodyclock luxe 700FM alarm clock
£66 Tatty Devine Fishbone necklace
£485 Tiffany 1837 Makers I.D. Tag Pendant in Sterling Silver, 24" (worn at arcade fire gig)
£249 Peak Design rucksack (asda romp)
£245 'Edinburgh book festival' Russell & Bromley chester tassel loafer (dubious provenance)
£245 'Downing Street' leopard monstrosities with block heels
£245 assumed third pair of 'spenny loafers'
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£960 8x Ikea billy bookcase wide white
£444 3x Ikea billy bookcase wide wood effect
£336 3x Ikea billy bookcase narrow wood effect
£140 4x Ikea hejne 'cheapo shoe racks' for seasonal crockery
£72 9x Ikea knagglig wooden box
£324 2x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Dinnerware Set, White, 12 Piece (4x Dinner Plates, 4x Salad Plates, 4x Cereal Bowls)
£92 4x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Mugs, White, Box of 2
£19 Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Cream Jug, White
£136 8x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Pasta Bowl, Dia.23.5cm, White
~£200 more random Sophie Conran for Portmeirion tit (see instagram)
£294 'I can't forget' screenprint navy/raspberry
~£2,000 438x baubles
£2,000 cooker
£80 Nokia 3310
£1050 3x chest freezers
£70 Dunelm Retro 20L 800W Pink Digital Microwave
£28 John Lewis llama doorstop
£40 Vintage ferguson radio casette recorder
£18 H&M peacock gold candlestick
~£180 10x other gold candlesticks (estimated)

Spoiler: new/updated

£49 Ted Baker pyjamas
£100 10x H&M gold candlesticks
£116 Instagram look
~£420 3x VegTrugs (unknown quantity)
~£1,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 2 years)
~£900 botox (estimate, £300/3 areas x 3 treatments)
~£1,056 haircuts at Toni & Guy, Woo Hair etc. (estimate, £66 x 4 per year x 4 years)
~£3,000 2x tattoo sleeves (estimate, £1,500 per sleeve)
£150 wire racking (kept outside)
£30 flamingo neon light
£60 mary poppins parrot umbrella
£384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
£144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
£60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect
£80 2x Ikea helmer white 6 drawer unit

Total: £55,307 £61,092

Spoiler: TBC - forensic ninnies apply within

The new pair of boots she bought after wearing the taped together pair for a while on TV (despite having other pairs ...?)
Artificial snow
many wigs
plastic flower headdress phase
“£5” denim cargo trousers from Primark
Multiple phones
SPITE SOFA
Le Creuset
furniture and set dressing for the shed outside that she was going to turn into a studio
lawnmower
bikes
tents
Ten (at least) outdoor chairs for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things
The hen with the rubber eggs for nesting hens?
dusty plastics string of pearls plant
wallpaper backgrounds
desktop Mac type set up
laptops for 'team of staff'
squishy sofa
velvet sofabed
baskets
countertop oven
leather armchairs
calvin klein sportswear
smeg fridge (small, broken?)
more ray ban sunglasses
drinking glasses (content approved)
high quality crystal clear food storage containers (shitloads)
red teardrop drop hoop earrings

Instagram zone

fancy crockery (shitloads)
food storage (shitloads, kilner jars etc.)

'limited edition' vest -

red suit foodism awards -

bedroom of lies -

dog cushions -

seasonal crockery (shitloads) - https://www.instagram.com/p/BattqwYAd4R/

2x 6 drawer units - https://www.instagram.com/p/BP_nDFPBj3K/

Spoiler: stocktake T&Cs

Anything spenny is fair game, but I'll add whatever fraus want.
My own benchmark is discretionary or 'non-essential' spend in the context of someone who claims to not be able to afford shower gel or 6p for butter instead of lard etc.
Jack moves things around constantly so try to avoid double counting.
Instagram is a literal and figurative gold mine (see TBC spoiler).
If I like your stocktake post it means I've seen it and will include in the next update.
Have fun.
Now duck off x

Quite possible, she hasn't touched vimesbootindex or justjackmonroe for a while (last active dates). Recommend jackmonroediary or maybe cookingonabootstrap for requesting refunds etc.
25/09/2022 [email protected] ('events & requests' or anything work related)
25/08/2022 [email protected] ('upcoming book queries')
24/01/2022 [email protected]
07/12/2021 [email protected] ('generic things')
Makes you think.

She’s got about 3 wigs that would total £100 or more.

 

[AyiaKnacker]

With wigs, they vary from about a tenner for something that looks like you knitted it yourself up to several hundred quid for a decent human hair lace front. The NHS wig vouchers you get are £75.71 and that gets you something very clearly wiggish but it does the job. This blonde one, I’d guess about a hundred quid.

source: brain tumour treatment cost me my hair for a year, but the real aficionados are women with alopecia and drag queens. Any fraus of those descriptions?

 

[Jelly Bean]

It's haturday
Made some rough estimates on the fillers/botox/haircuts/tattoos, a bit hand wavy but none of them are cheap and also I'm loathe to minimise or not include them when Jack spends to excess on everything else. Like how much she's raking in from patreon etc. they're probably underestimated.
Getting the bookcases from Argos instead of Ikea dropped the cost from £1,740 to £588, that's a thrifty tip, although I suppose most people don't buy dozens of the same thing like Jack.

Spoiler: big spenny

£428 fancy knobs
£250 magnetic Allegra spice jars
£315 (assuming there are only 7 but I think it’s more) on snake charmer kitchen baskets
£95 Abigail Aherne grey hare table lamp
£72 antique bird of paradise porcelain door knobs and finger plates (bedroom door)
(+£432 if she's done the other say 6 internal doors as well)
£25 wooden calculator (unused)
£100 pigskin hat
£35 two-headed Skellington dog plastic Halloween decoration
£339 All Saints belfern suede biker jacket
£155 Morris & Co. Strawberry Thief curtains (median price £65-245)
£1,550 2x Tiffany pearl hoop earrings sterling silver (two pairs)
£150 DM boots (other ones, not the willow ones mentioned upthread)
£104 rusty eBay spoons
£110 2x Oliver Bonas jumpers
£80 Emma Bridgewater toaster with TOASTER on it
£780 At least two Burberry scarves: one for her and one for LJC
£110 Crosley cruiser suitcase turntable ('SB's' bedroom)
£800 77 Lipsticks
£200 14 Foundations
£250 40 Eyeliners
£500 misc makeup
£320 2x Roberts Revival Mini radio
£158 orange nike trainers (asda trip)
£1,200 8x kendal dining chairs
£425 Graham and Green birdcage lampshade
£65 test tube vases
£35 boiler suit (which was dyed pink)
£10 squid game guard mask from the market
£44 per roll wallpaper used as ADHD friendly “to-do” list
£300 kitchen aid
£20 black pleather Primark boots with chain
£499 Dyson fan
£65 SimpleHuman hand soap dispenser (kitchen)
£60 squatty potty
£535 custom captain's chair
£110 Two pairs of granny curtain boiler suits
£400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
£229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
£799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
£849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
£399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
£2,396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
£1,529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
£299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
£800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
£499 Cotswold Company chester wine console
£599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
£699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
£800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak shoe storage bench
£730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
£300 suit she wore for the Diva photoshoot
£300 dyson hairdryer
£1199 water rower
£400 John Lewis hammock
£400 John Lewis egg chair
£400 20x John Lewis clear plastic storage bins
£290 Baywood 33 drawer tea chest
£30 John Lewis Perspex cube pasta storage with pink lids
£20 full set of oversized unicorns/animal mugs from Asda
£300 sentient mirror
£360 2x nike trainers (exc. orange ones)
£120 24" TV for SB's PlayStation
£2,500 Smeg fridge (double American style)
£300 2x Viv westwood dress (assume sale)
£75 Sweaty Betty leggings
£170 Lumie alarm clock
£200 R&P bras (x 2 minimum)
£199 Airpods
£249 Airpods pro
£199 Apple Watch (assume series 3)
£250 Sleeper to Edinburgh last min on a Friday
£309 3 nights at Eden Locke, Edinburgh
£170 Last minute train home on a Monday morning
£700 Vets bills
£20 Sad Asda shop
£80 2x summit camping stove (shed)
£400 ooni pizza oven (freebie)
£60 3x “tiles” for locating lost keys/phones by internet magic
£12 2x dylon machine dye
£180 12x moleskin notebooks
~£1,000 unread books (estimate)
£100 CUDDLY TOY (Hamleys)
£640 6x DAB radios
£60 Lego flower bouquet
£60 Rock tumbler
£2,200 content
£600 Emin
£15 6x ring binders (for coroner's reports)
£1,790 Burberry classic trench coat
£5,000 Burberry brit jacket ($5-6k)
£350 Warm & wonderful diana sheep jumper
£60 Boy london snap back black/gold hat ($60)
£1,000 Unidentified Cotswold(?) cupboard/wardrobe
£10 horrendous steam punk clock leggings (worn once)
£525 35x moleskin notebooks
£119 Hatteras pigskin leather cap dark brown (wax suede stetson hat)
£56 7x Wilko snake charmer kitchen baskets
£479 Nespresso creatista plus coffee machine (doesn't drink coffee)
£199 Bodyclock luxe 700FM alarm clock
£66 Tatty Devine Fishbone necklace
£485 Tiffany 1837 Makers I.D. Tag Pendant in Sterling Silver, 24" (worn at arcade fire gig)
£249 Peak Design rucksack (asda romp)
£245 'Edinburgh book festival' Russell & Bromley chester tassel loafer (dubious provenance)
£245 'Downing Street' leopard monstrosities with block heels
£245 assumed third pair of 'spenny loafers'
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£960 8x Ikea billy bookcase wide white
£444 3x Ikea billy bookcase wide wood effect
£336 3x Ikea billy bookcase narrow wood effect
£140 4x Ikea hejne 'cheapo shoe racks' for seasonal crockery
£72 9x Ikea knagglig wooden box
£324 2x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Dinnerware Set, White, 12 Piece (4x Dinner Plates, 4x Salad Plates, 4x Cereal Bowls)
£92 4x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Mugs, White, Box of 2
£19 Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Cream Jug, White
£136 8x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Pasta Bowl, Dia.23.5cm, White
~£200 more random Sophie Conran for Portmeirion tit (see instagram)
£294 'I can't forget' screenprint navy/raspberry
~£2,000 438x baubles
£2,000 cooker
£80 Nokia 3310
£1050 3x chest freezers
£70 Dunelm Retro 20L 800W Pink Digital Microwave
£28 John Lewis llama doorstop
£40 Vintage ferguson radio casette recorder
£18 H&M peacock gold candlestick
~£180 10x other gold candlesticks (estimated)

Spoiler: new/updated

£49 Ted Baker pyjamas
£100 10x H&M gold candlesticks
£116 Instagram look
~£420 3x VegTrugs (unknown quantity)
~£1,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 2 years)
~£900 botox (estimate, £300/3 areas x 3 treatments)
~£1,056 haircuts at Toni & Guy, Woo Hair etc. (estimate, £66 x 4 per year x 4 years)
~£3,000 2x tattoo sleeves (estimate, £1,500 per sleeve)
£150 wire racking (kept outside)
£30 flamingo neon light
£60 mary poppins parrot umbrella
£384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
£144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
£60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect
£80 2x Ikea helmer white 6 drawer unit

Total: £55,307 £61,092

Spoiler: TBC - forensic ninnies apply within

The new pair of boots she bought after wearing the taped together pair for a while on TV (despite having other pairs ...?)
Artificial snow
many wigs
plastic flower headdress phase
“£5” denim cargo trousers from Primark
Multiple phones
SPITE SOFA
Le Creuset
furniture and set dressing for the shed outside that she was going to turn into a studio
lawnmower
bikes
tents
Ten (at least) outdoor chairs for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things
The hen with the rubber eggs for nesting hens?
dusty plastics string of pearls plant
wallpaper backgrounds
desktop Mac type set up
laptops for 'team of staff'
squishy sofa
velvet sofabed
baskets
countertop oven
leather armchairs
calvin klein sportswear
smeg fridge (small, broken?)
more ray ban sunglasses
drinking glasses (content approved)
high quality crystal clear food storage containers (shitloads)
red teardrop drop hoop earrings

Instagram zone

fancy crockery (shitloads)
food storage (shitloads, kilner jars etc.)

'limited edition' vest -

red suit foodism awards -

bedroom of lies -

dog cushions -

seasonal crockery (shitloads) - https://www.instagram.com/p/BattqwYAd4R/

2x 6 drawer units - https://www.instagram.com/p/BP_nDFPBj3K/

Spoiler: stocktake T&Cs

Anything spenny is fair game, but I'll add whatever fraus want.
My own benchmark is discretionary or 'non-essential' spend in the context of someone who claims to not be able to afford shower gel or 6p for butter instead of lard etc.
Jack moves things around constantly so try to avoid double counting.
Instagram is a literal and figurative gold mine (see TBC spoiler).
If I like your stocktake post it means I've seen it and will include in the next update.
Have fun.
Now duck off x

Quite possible, she hasn't touched vimesbootindex or justjackmonroe for a while (last active dates). Recommend jackmonroediary or maybe cookingonabootstrap for requesting refunds etc.
25/09/2022 [email protected] ('events & requests' or anything work related)
25/08/2022 [email protected] ('upcoming book queries')
24/01/2022 [email protected]
07/12/2021 [email protected] ('generic things')
Makes you think.

Omg.
Good work.
Going through it all is insane. Obviously she is allowed nice stuff. Nobody would begrudge anyone that. But she isn't poor and hasn't been for a long time. Wth was she thinking with Hunger Hurts 2? Madness.

 

[HotesTilaire]

With wigs, they vary from about a tenner for something that looks like you knitted it yourself up to several hundred quid for a decent human hair lace front. The NHS wig vouchers you get are £75.71 and that gets you something very clearly wiggish but it does the job. This blonde one, I’d guess about a hundred quid.

source: brain tumour treatment cost me my hair for a year, but the real aficionados are women with alopecia and drag queens. Any fraus of those descriptions?

I’m not experienced, but I know that despite their appearance (obviously synthetic, mass produced) they aren’t from Shein or Smiffys fancy dress
The sister wife stunt hair stennies are easily £50-100 she has brown straight, and curly blonde highlighted brown

 

[hoopdedoo]

Is it wrong that I looked at @That Forensic Man 's detailed and costed inventory, and thought "cheapo Ikea shoe racks to store crockery! what a clever idea!"

However, at the moment all my crockery fits in the cupboards I have, so I'm probably good for a while....