Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Is ‘womp womp’ () the new ‘toot toot’? I can’t bring myself to ever type it ever again.
Re. pies… I’ve never seen anything like it, which is a good thing.
Re. new family WhatsApp group… let’s hope no one in the 10 year old group accidentally posts in the new one. ‘She’s banging on about your will again, Dave. Have you got another watch to placate her for a week? Thanks love ’

The great thing about it is that it's a description of the mocking sad trombone sound for disappointment. Which seems very apt for any poor fucker lumbered with her cooking.

 

[binkbonk]

Consider:

These are Thumbelina-sized pies, and there's four of them. Two for her and two for her son, there is no housemate.

Makes you think.

These are actually the pies of all pies, one of which will be kept in the fridge to eat cold.
They EAT

 

[GrannyOgg]

When you’re given free money (and LOTS of it) by naive strangers on t’internet, it means less and is easier to fritter away, especially when you know the next sweet, sweet pay day is always just around the corner.

Jack celebrates Patreon day like most of us celebrate Christmas. FFS we are talking about a woman who buys two flowery jumpsuits and just flings the one she didn’t need in a drawer. Why on earth would she bother repairing a vacuum cleaner cable when Amazon does next day delivery?
If it’s Patreons cash she is flinging about then I’d make the most of it if I was her. There’s a hard winter coming and people will be making hard choices. Don’t give much for her chances of pulling off another begging blog either.
Do we know if the Trussell Trust got all the money for this? Ive read that only the amount stated as the goal needs to be legally donated, the organiser is free to do whatever they want with the excess.
These online fundraisers are a racket. Legislation really needs to be tightened up.

OMG I’m a VIP!!!! I don’t even have an avatar and I can’t squiggle. How mad is that?

 

[Malkiavelli]

100 hours a week equals 14 hours of work per day.120 hours a week is 17 hrs per day. Perhaps she thinks that every minute she is actually awake she is working, because she's thinking about her next ridiculous slop creation/tweeting?

But this is exactly it, she clearly has a very imaginative concept of what work is but even so, it’s all so clearly fanciful/completely bollocks, and is often contradicted by her own statements on other matters or her obvious SM habits. It’s funny how she likes to say that questions of her are “easily disprovable”, yet has selective amnesia about her claims of working from what would have to be the second she wakes up..

 

[Bell'un]

"BOYD"! whaddya reckon?

Just Bod. Nickname? x

 

[Mr Krabs]

This is by far the most famous example of “womp womp”

Lewandowski refuses to apologize for 'womp womp' comment | CNN Politics

Corey Lewandowski refused to apologize Wednesday after he dismissed the story of a 10-year-old girl with Down syndrome who was reportedly separated from her mother after crossing the border illegally.

www.cnn.com

I’m not sure what Jack is thinking by using it but it’s a very negative association.

View attachment 1570324

To be fair, womp womp has been an internet thing for a while. Jack probably doesn’t know some racist guy used the term - I’ve certainly never heard of him. I don’t see why we should allow this guy to ruin something, stupid as it is.

 

[hooplifehero]

To be fair, womp womp has been an internet thing for a while. Jack probably doesn’t know some racist guy used the term - I’ve certainly never heard of him. I don’t see why we should allow this guy to ruin something, stupid as it is.

no, fair enough. That is the only association I have with “womp womp” but sure, if some bigot used “toot toot” I wouldn’t consider the word banned.

any excuse to hammer Jack though

 

[Lazarus]

These are actually the pies of all pies, one of which will be kept in the fridge to eat cold.
They EATView attachment 1570342

The double space between full time and labourer makes me think she wrote his actual job in there and then took it out and replaced it with labourer.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Sorry but those pies? No.

Those pies would be turned down by mrs lovett and sweeny todd.

Whats the goss from granny ogg?

 

[Bwidge]

The double space between full time and labourer makes me think she wrote his actual job in there and then took it out and replaced it with labourer.

What? Full time figment of my imagination?

 

[mchops]

Well this is stuck in my head now, cheers pals

 

[overdueanadventure]

Just Bod. Nickname? x

Surely it's Bond. Would explain their secretive behaviour and her access to inexplicably sourced special protection.

 

[Lazarus]

Mad to think that only a couple of weeks ago she was completely and utterly heartbroken, eating cat biscuits and sharing it on her professional social media account.

 

[GrannyOgg]

And the half spoilered part 2

FAO of whoever has the job of making sense of this for the Wiki. This should have gone under exciting times because I had already used the quote given. Sorry for the chaos.

 

[Just Lou]

She has shown us some of her milestone chips. Apparently she gave one to her son, which is very odd.

What? That is very odd. I don't know anyone who would pass any of their chips to their children, unless perhaps they were in AA themselves.

 

[jenny2603]

Mad to think that only a couple of weeks ago she was completely and utterly heartbroken, eating cat biscuits and sharing it on her professional social media account.

Ah but that was before she did a six hour sex with a man. Alas we on Tattle shall never understand this as we have never known lurve, are all enraged virgins, have no partners, friends or family and exist solely to undermine the good works of the ickle charidee pixie. If only we could be as happy and fulfilled as Jack.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Why do ppl think she’s one of Fagan’s urchins when she writes like this?

 

[jenny2603]

Those pies would be turned down by mrs lovett and sweeny todd.

Whats the goss from granny ogg?

No denyin' times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in Southend
Only lard and nothing more
Is that just revolting
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting
And tastes like, well, pity
A woman alone with limited wind
And the worst pies in Southend

 

[Onestorytoomany]

View attachment 1570423
View attachment 1570424

Why do ppl think she’s one of Fagan’s urchins when she writes like this?

Excellent a badly trained dog, well done pet.

 

[Lazarus]

What? That is very odd. I don't know anyone who would pass any of their chips to their children, unless perhaps they were in AA themselves.

Yes that’s true. She did give him a chip and he went to bed with it on his pillow. Wonder if he still has the chip - he no longer has the bed or room…