Jack Monroe #389 She's like Boris but with worse hair

[traumatised sideboard]

Why am I laughing so much about the label falling out of the PJs. It reminds me of the time she couldn't tell a squig where an expensive blanket was from as she'd cut the label out due to autism despite the fact that unless you've burritoed yourself in your birthday suit you'll never touch the label on a blanket with bare skin.

 

[mchops]

I have never met anybody sober for as long as JM who is still so bitter and twisted unless the recovery was inforced by prison or testing.

 

[usefullyuseless]

Loooool I'm sure she used the "the label fell off/the writing's worn away" excuse the other day when someone asked her about another item of clothing. Jack, just tell her they were £250 from John Lewis*, the squigs would excuse you if you were wiping your arse with £50 notes anyway.

*Exaggerated for effect, before she threatens to sue.

Yes wasn't that the floral boilersuit she claimed she'd had ages BUT *plot twist* a clever frau triangulated it to current season Urban Outfitters, retailing at £55. Reader, she bought two and won't be returning the other one in the wrong size.

S O
P O O R

 

[Bugger13]

Mark my words somebody has had "a word" with her over her behaviour..... maybe that visit was an arse kicking...

That’ll explain the ICU people. Serious shin injuries and a radiator lodged in a colon.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Should there be a wiki of dangerous food safety Pixie advice?:
* recommended cooking fish by leaving in lemon juice overnight
* year old pickled radishes in 50/50 water ginger mix
* reusing pickling vinegar

what did I miss?

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Should there be a wiki of dangerous food safety Pixie advice?:
* recommended cooking fish by leaving in lemon juice overnight
* year old pickled radishes in 50/50 water ginger mix
* reusing pickling vinegar

what did I miss?

Drying mushrooms on a radiator.

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

no one has ever looked at liver and thought it would be improved with blue cheese and tomato sauce

hooting and fizzing dear-heart

Is it too early for #threadtitle??

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Should there be a wiki of dangerous food safety Pixie advice?:
* recommended cooking fish by leaving in lemon juice overnight
* year old pickled radishes in 50/50 water ginger mix
* reusing pickling vinegar

what did I miss?

Yeah.. there's several books worth..

A twit Called Jack
Tin Pot Slop Cook
A year in Depressing Brown tit food
Vegan.. I tit you..
Boot Leather Cook

Likely more on the way..

 

[Hollaaa]

Should there be a wiki of dangerous food safety Pixie advice?:
* recommended cooking fish by leaving in lemon juice overnight
* year old pickled radishes in 50/50 water ginger mix
* reusing pickling vinegar

what did I miss?

Reappropriating bottles and other containers without sterilising or relabelling the bottles.
Any time she *sneaks* an ingredient into a meal without the recipient's knowledge or consent.

 

[flightofthealligator]

Drying mushrooms on a radiator.

Wasn’t there something about recommending a type of nut butter as good for people with allergies?! Insert it’s been 84 years gif. Might have been two weeks ago. Who the hell knows anymore

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

I bet her nutribullet is on a UN Chemical Weapons list.

y’all are totes hilarious tonight CANAL of fraus. #threadtitle ?!


ETA _ canal/cable

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Yes wasn't that the floral boilersuit she claimed she'd had ages BUT *plot twist* a clever frau triangulated it to current season Urban Outfitters, retailing at £55. Reader, she bought two and won't be returning the other one in the wrong size.

S O
P O O R

It iSN’T current season it was 2019 as verified by a spring article in the standard for best boiler suits of 2019 - so three rather than the four years she claimed but that’s a forgivable minor error - we must stick to fair true facts and opinion

y’all are totes hilarious tonight cabal of fraus. #threadtitle ?!

Canal… the other word is antisemitic and offensive to Jewish people so we shouldn’t use it

 

[threetintender]

Yes, as usual, Sue Townsend foresaw JM coming when Adrian became a TV chef cooking offal & called it ‘Offaly Good’.
Jack is the result of a lack of solid education nationally, a few crappy puns, social media idiotic tribalism and awful gimmicks.

Nay, nay thrice nay. Do NOT compare JM with Adrian Mole. He is my hero (and exact contemporary) Adrian is a fine human and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. I WILL BRING SWANS AND THEY WILL BREAK YOUR ARMS

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Maybe the boiler suit is current season at DFS?

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

Drying mushrooms on a radiator.

Top fire safety. Old chief would be applauding

 

[Orphan_Black]

Why am I laughing so much about the label falling out of the PJs. It reminds me of the time she couldn't tell a squig where an expensive blanket was from as she'd cut the label out due to autism despite the fact that unless you've burritoed yourself in your birthday suit you'll never touch the label on a blanket with bare skin.

She didn't know the brand of her weighted hoop too, she has to ask her BFF therapist and never got back to Squig.

Too busy doing her 1000 reps.

 

[FlashBoof]

Nay, nay thrice nay. Do NOT compare JM with Adrian Mole. He is my hero (and exact contemporary) Adrian is a fine human and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. I WILL BRING SWANS AND THEY WILL BREAK YOUR ARMS

ASCBAMA you know!

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

It iSN’T current season it was 2019 as verified by a spring article in the standard for best boiler suits of 2019 - so three rather than the four years she claimed but that’s a forgivable minor error - we must stick to fair true facts and opinion


Canal… the other word is antisemitic and offensive to Jewish people so we shouldn’t use it

sorry only parroting Monroe! Didn’t realise it was anti semitic will remember in future

 

[traumatised sideboard]

There was also the time she didn't know what brand her knitting needles were because she'd given them to a friend who was then apparently ejected into outer space or excommunicated to the depths of the Brazilian jungle so was completely unable to be contacted. She's an absolute looper.

 

[ChactFecker]

You know Jim'll paint it ?

How would the request even go?

Jim can you paint Jack Monroe in a Mortal Kombat esque, Southend arena in a versus match with THAT MAN!,
She is bench pressing a 97KG sideboard with one arm - Twitter active on 3 phones in the other.
her unruly labia, tired from a burger boy welfare check are still active, independently assisting in keeping a hula hoop spinning around her arthritic hips.
She has just come off a 37 hour working day
......
......