Jack Monroe #389 She's like Boris but with worse hair

[Clovis]

Maybe she impressed ITV so much with her "delicious" recipes on Lorraine she's been hired to do the menu plans for I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here?

Or it could be a challenge:

Ant, "Brooklyn Beckham, will you eat this Kangaroo bum hole or Jack's delicious chicken liver, black pudding, lentil and blue cheese lasagne "?

Brooklyn, "Kangaroo bum hole, please "!

 

[Ooointitot]

She's just done this to mess with us. I'm certain of it. I'd eat the cat's meaty pouches before anything she's describing here.

For the love of god, don’t give her ideas. That could be the genesis of a whole new revolting book

 

[Ablemabel]

Chicken liver, black pudding, lentil and blue cheese lasagne? Mother of God...
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Christ imagine how strong that would taste

 

[Justacatindisguise]

You did this one yesterday, pet. People are still waiting for the recipe.

 

[SeeleyBooth]

She's just done this to mess with us. I'm certain of it. I'd eat the cat's meaty pouches before anything she's describing here.

In gravy or jelly? Would you rinse the gravy off first?

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

I see she’s committing hate crimes against Italian food again. I hope she makes one so I can send it and cause a chaos at the ex in laws again.

I will pay £10 to the anti-poverty charity of your choice if you manage to video their reaction and share it.

 

[Cashio e pepe]

When our bills are going through the roof, who in their right mind is going to put the oven on for a chicken liver, black pudding, lentil and blue cheese lasagne? Does she come up with her meal plans in the same way you pick the horses in the office Grand National sweepstake?

 

[metroglide]

Pea, bacon and radish risotto. Yum.

In gravy or jelly? Would you rinse the gravy off first?

Gravy. He just gives the jelly ones a really disdainful look and strolls away.

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

I see thrifty, I only spend £20 a week on food Jack, has more food kicking around her kitchen than most of us buy for a month

 

[PoorPatrol]

Chicken liver, black pudding, leek, and blue cheese lasagna? I've honestly just brushed my teeth, I'm right cheers

I can actually taste metal in my mouth 🥹 it’s like a thousand rusty eBay spoons in there!

 

[Dogmuck]

 

[metroglide]

On the one hand I'm very glad I ate lunch before I saw the list, but on the other, it's threatening to reappear

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

did she just throw some food words in the air to see what landed and where?

 

[Jelly Bean]

I see thrifty, I only spend £20 a week on food Jack, has more food kicking around her kitchen than most of us buy for a month

Quite. And a lot of relatively non cheap items - gruyere, blue cheese, water chestnuts etc. They wouldn't come in her performative £20 shops for 3 people.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I reckon Jackie could have a whole new career as a diet therapist. Pin that list to your fridge and you wouldn’t fancy eating for ages

 

[Elastoblast]

OK, I'll leave it. I had no idea, thank you for putting me right.

Yeah sounds very fire safety conscious from the former fire person. I'll just cover the doors which may act as a temporary fire block in the event of a house fire, with some highly flammable material that will no doubt release noxious fumes when it smoulders and catches alight. Mmm toasty and warm now

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

It's like some sort of magic "spin the wheel" thing. Some ingredients which work well together, spiked with random horror.

"Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to make..."
* spins wheel *
"giant
Banana
And
Anchovy
Lasagne"

* Italian in the audience faints and has to be carried out *

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Chicken liver, black pudding, leek, and blue cheese lasagna? I've honestly just brushed my teeth, I'm right cheers

I read that as “I’ve honestly just bruised my teeth” and nodded sagely. Even the notion that any of this abomination would pass your lips would cause you to involuntarily grit your teeth together hard enough to cause injury, so I understood you completely.

Except that’s not what you said

 

[Albert Hall]

I can't believe there are people in her replies to that list thanking her for "what she does". WHAT DOES SHE DO, other than moan on Twitter and post rank food?

She has no idea how to use even the most basic of ingredients. That chicken liver, black pudding and afterbirth lasagne will look like the end result of a drunken night out.

The bind boggles.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Do you think the cheese was bought blue or she just left it in there too long. Thrifty!

did she just throw some food words in the air to see what landed and where?

Genuinely think you could make a novelty meal generator to throw together combinations of random words and they'd be about as appetising. In fact I'm convinced that's how she's doing it.