Tiny teething necklace?
Tiny teething necklace?View attachment 1543031
What is that row of weird baby shit green balls?
I think the arseholes are the elderly radishes. I don't know why she is like this.On a mega-grunk so apols if another mithering ninnie has said this but why does she have thinly-sliced arseholes on her ‘food’?
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Asda sausages m8On a mega-grunk so apols if another mithering ninnie has said this but why does she have thinly-sliced arseholes on her ‘food’?
View attachment 1543062
PEACEFUL OAT GOBLINS!! That’s it, Marjory - I am DEADED"Tonight, on Can't cook, Shan't cook...Ainsley, I, Jack Monroe self professed saviour of the poor will be cooking...
Peaceful oat goblins, with ready brek and a light vinaigrette. Topped off with mushed avocado and capers.
For the main- Authentic Greek pizza, with a base made out of flour and blended, mushed, spaghetti hoops. Sauce made from tabasco and ground tobacco. And the topping being half a tub of lard mixed with powdered cheese and pickled herring.
For dessert I present to you...Warm ice cream, defrosted, refrozen and then heated in the mee crow wah vey, with prunes and foccacia bread. And a sprig of parsley."
I have two kids, they use my house like a doss house, no joke. I keep telling then when they are bigger i am coming round theres and eating all their food and trashing their living room with cushions and blankets and taking over the telly.SB is sitting on the sofa, like he's a polite guest, my 11yr old nephew lounges with his feet up and I know used to lie around with my feet up at that age. I feel very sorry for SB, especially if he's noticing whether Jack is happy or not, I honestly never thought about my mum or dad's feelings at his age, because I was so secure around them and protected by them that I never needed to have any awareness of their feelings. I didn't have to protect them or modify my behaviour because I was scared of what might happen. I hope I've articulated that properly, I wasn't a naughty child, I just felt so secure that I never needed to worry about my parents and no child should have to.
I think I would rather eat pickled anus than any Jack recipe.I think the arseholes are the elderly radishes. I don't know why she is like this.
He’s eyeing up Monroe’s periwinkles and contemplating pissing all over them for being fed a shit risotto.This is fucking hilarious. Look at the dog wistfully looking at the houses opposite where sight is possible. Surely a piss take-then again we’ve had some like this previously that are earnestly serious. Remember Brenda’s sausage?
Never more dangerous than when she is in the kitchenI think Jack Monroe is a very dangerous woman Especially when she is cornered
I can’t look too closely at it lest my pregnancy sickness return, but where is the smashed avocado? Why would you add smashed avocado to creamed spinach? Why do the year old radishes look like she’s pressed them down with her thumb. It’s possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve seen since her placenta oats, but I can’t think about it in too great detail without an anti emetic to hand. Send metaclopromideos.Really want to know how many people were on the publishing team.
Imagine a fresh faced intern tagging along to go the house of a famous food writer for brunch only to be served
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"these cherry tomatoes taste...interesting" you say weakly.
"Ah that'll be because I fried them" Jack grins like a Cheshire cat as you eye them dubiously.
"In cheese"
<camera pans into horrified pupil of eager intern before fading fully to black>
Avo on toast that's spread with marmite, little sprinkle of chilli flakes or a hot sauce is a lovely thingI just don’t understand why there are so many ingredients and flavours, and all in a confusing order too? Why avo (smashed) AND spinach (creamed)? Why radishes (pickled, aged) AND tomatoes (chilli cheese fried, wtf)? Why egg damply combined with bread?
A better combo that contains many of the original flavours but in a less unhinged way would be regular toast (buttered), avo with chilli flakes, tomatoes sautéed in olive oil and balsamic, with a scrambled or poached egg. No aeons old radishes needed. If she’s desperate to include the cheese and the spinach, you could wilt it down with a bit of parmesan, salt and pepper, but you really don’t need to.
She truly is the insane bunger-inner of all who dare to call themselves a cook.
Probably indulging her on some level. They seem to treat her like the company pet. She's probably got pictures of them having sex with farm animals or something.Why were they there I wonder
Wouldn’t be surprised if she put a bill on the tableI wonder if this is the first time the publishing team have eaten any of her abominations.
It must be slowly dawning on them just what they have done.
Like John Hammond at the end of Juarssic Park.
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