Jack Monroe #382 Any thicker she’d set (unlike her white sauce)

[Orphan_Black]

Hello again to thread-a-day Jackie, it's all a bit mad, eh, pals?!

Thread title by @Lurker1985! and recommended by @JombleWomble. You both win a day off from the chaos. Be free!



Recap-

Jack is continuing to lie, that's all I got.

Please help with recaps.

Newbies please have a look at the Wiki above for all your Jack FACTS, and remember everyone, always squiggle those squigs.

Toot Toot!

 

[Menopausal Stormtrooper]

Recap:

On Twitter, Jack was picked up on the vile language she used in a 2013 Guardian interview (" I've not been brought up on benefits and a tracksuit watching Jeremy Kyle. I'm a middle class, well educated young woman who fell a bit by the way side. You think it doesn't happen to normal people, and you think we are all scumbags, eating burgers and watching day time TV. It can happen to anyone." )

Jack claimed this was merely her repeating a question from a journalist back to them. However, clever squigs soon found the original source, which was a speech she gave at the House of Commons which happened before the Guardian interview.

Jack listed the eleventy-four things she uses to help her with her chronic pain including some unusual pain medication combinations. AM is back and catching up on what she's missed

Jack's publishing team have allegedly visited her this morning and been treated to a mushtastic combination of mashed avocado on egg bread.

 

[fishyfishfish]

Recap:

Jack won't publish their annual salary any more, because she's fully aware that "some will falsely claim wild riches".

There was a mega thread last night RE crumbly shoulder, including terrible medication advice, with the whole thing acting as a distraction from the chaos (general)

AM thankfully reappeared post-holiday, because she is capable of taking time off Twitter

Hands were thrown under the bus

The JM quote RE Jeremy Kyle/tracksuit was extracted by a journalist despite it coming from a speech Jack made in the HoC. There's even an audio clip. Makes you think.

The publishers (hopefully) staged an intervention and were greeted with a plate of slop, featuring year-old radishes. What a shame they stopped at Pret on the way.

 

[Just Lou]

Oh! Tom Kerridge is on the radio now. Talk Sport if anyone is interested

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Jack thinks periarthritis is actual, literal arthritis. Jack thinks diclofenac and voltarol are two different drugs. Jack is not on a treatment regime for arthritis.

 

[Lurker1985!]

My first title - I’m humbled and thrilled, but must acknowledge the first half was taken from the wonderful and underrated “Early Doors”.

 

[jenny2603]

My first title - I’m humbled and thrilled, but must acknowledge the first half was taken from the wonderful and underrated “Early Doors”.

Oh I love Early Doors so much. Why is it so underrated? Send recognitionos!

 

[Orphan_Black]

She actually has hEDS, apparently (all her mum's fault).

Forget the magic puddle, I want Jack's magic doctor that can diagnose conditions just like that. No tests, no months of waiting, nope, you ill. Magic doctor with their scary prescription pad.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

So she's got perimenopause and periarthritis. What a periwanker

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

So she's got perimenopause and periarthritis. What a periwanker

The peri she really needs ends with 'odontology'

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Re Jacks mega pre DKL tweet delete from the last thread - she knew she was getting on telly so she got rid of things that evidenced her as a massive whiny horrid whelksplat. Which would be her entire account.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Tomorrow should be Patreon drop day as a heads up fraus. Will take a look at the month so far after lunch to see what acquisitions she’s had so far and how it compares to previous months, and share opening figure so anyone awake can do a quick MoM% figure.

Idk why I’m quite nervous about this one cos I think we’re gonna be disappointed and not see as many losses as we would expect with everything going on

 

[hooplifehero]

The peri she really needs ends with 'odontology'

she could have picked up some peri peri sauce for that at Nando’s

 

[Pixieboots]

Barrelling in from a thread behind to tell you about my public owl champagne moment today.

Walked past this sign earlier and took a picture for the fraus:

Then went inside for a piss and a sandwich and was confronted with this:

Shell petrol stations are clearly part of the secret anti-Jack global conspiracy.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

You forgot the bit - MSE Martin proposes new prime minister goes on his show, JM offers to mediate (probably meant moderator), FMs start piling in supporting the idea…. Martin deletes tweet, Martin retweets original tweet… martin then tweets he’s so busy he’s muting people so can’t reply… ex-MSE journos supporting Martin … various journos on other threads hinting video exists of her pissed on train behaving badly and other things….

threw ex-admin Caroline under bus - claims she paid her with no furlough but Caroline did no work and left when furlough scheme ended…

 

[Slop n slide]

Wait. Does JM have shares in Tattle? Is she mates with Vlad? Vladmate?

But for real, would love to see the stats of activity to this site in the last, fortnight, week, 24 hours...! Can someone do this?

 

[whereforartthoupumble]

Can you imagine going to someone's house for a business meeting and their dog rocks into the room and starts drinking out of your glass of water?This is just beyond unprofessional! And I am a dog person, have one, but would be absolutely mortified if they behaved like that in a professional setting. Just urgh.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Nobody’s mentioning her aches and pains may be a result of being rogered by Ronald McDonald for six hours after several hours hula hooping…

 

[Pollypops]

Oh I love Early Doors so much. Why is it so underrated? Send recognitionos!

Oh I love Early Doors so much. Why is it so underrated? Send recognitionos!

Cheers!

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Recap: she's pickled my radishes. Send Sudocremos.