Jack Monroe #37 Don't f*** with cats.

[FrumpyCat]

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For the love of god, woman.

Use

Paragraphs.

Believe me, paragraphs don't make it any better.

She has absolutely no bleeping idea.

Jack, in case you are not aware, chemo can totally duck with your tastebuds. So food you previously thought was yummy has all the appeal of wall paper paste. And of course there is the nausea and the constipation or diarrhoea. It's not just going 'ooh ouchy mouth' like you're a bleeping five year old.

You twit.

 

[NP]

Going through her cancer cookbooks because her ouchy mouth of 10 days, which looked fine when she was grinning on her Hellman’s thing, is so relatable to someone going through chemo and what they eat. Seriously. I can’t even be fucked to say anything else.

 

[peperomia]

He is absolutely mine. Particularly as Malcolm Tucker. I appreciate this says a *lot* about me.

Babes, same.

 

[JJusa69]

Ah the nostalgia! One of my patients uses Impulse body spray and it’s like I’m back to being a teenager every time I see her. My mum used to bring me back a bottle of Tommy Girl perfume whenever she went away too, that was the height of sophistication.
I love Dr Marten’s. I used to stare longingly at the shop in Southend that sold them (I can’t remember the name of it and that will annoy me all day!) as it was near our hang out place of “the clock by the odeon”.

Omg Tommy perfume! As you said that, I could smell it and was instantly transported to a time of kookai corduroy skirts and crop top vests.
And Southern Comfort

 

[FrumpyCat]

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Has she had an irony bypass?

 

[Motherwellgirl]

Ah love love love stories like this. The fact he drew a cat makes it even better haha

My brother was cat daft when he was wee and still has cats.

His favourite song growing up was cool for cats by the band squeeze.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I'm watching again the Jamie Oliver lockdown programmes as I want to make some of the dishes. I feel like I know a bit about JO but I don't know the name of his pets, I've never seen a photo of him lounging half naked on his sideboard or heard him publicly shame Jools. I do know though that he makes lovely tv programmes. The way he cooks and talks is effortless. The ingredients are ready prepared or he can prepare them quickly. He's knowledgeable and so enthusiastic and makes food I want to cook and eat. He has a public persona which he has carefully curated and while he does interact with fans on SM, he keeps his personal life separate. He's not everyones cup of tea but Jack needs to look and take note about how it can be done.

Honestly! I'd kind of gone off Jamie for a while there, for a variety of reasons, but his show over lockdown was just such a breath of fresh air, it really felt like he'd invited us into his home / family, and his recipes were actually so, so useful and inspiring, despite (or because of?) being really simple. He also got me really into the frozen aisle (esp frozen spinach, which I don't think I even knew existed before??? But which is so, so, useful and economical. Frozen raspberries too!). My mum's got a huge soft spot for him also, and was nice to talk about nice things / shared enthusiasms on the phone while I couldn't see her.

 

[FrumpyCat]

I remember body shop henna, you had to spend about five hours sat with this concoction on your head that smelt like horse manure. And the mess!!

I used to use henna, My hair grew progressively redder and redder until it was virtually luminous. I used to like the smell.

 

[peperomia]

Believe me, paragraphs don't make it any better.

She has absolutely no bleeping idea.

Jack, in case you are not aware, chemo can totally duck with your tastebuds. So food you previously thought was yummy has all the appeal of wall paper paste. And of course there is the nausea and the constipation or diarrhoea. It's not just going 'ooh ouchy mouth' like you're a bleeping five year old.

You twit.

She isn't aware as she has never had chemo. It's bleeping tit Jack, trust. Why are you so desperate to be ill?

(I do not have cancer BTW it's for my arthritis, and it's a low dose in the grand scheme of things to supplement another immunosuppressant. I am lucky to receive both)

 

[Eurgh]

I used to use henna, My hair grew progressively redder and redder until it was virtually luminous. I used to like the smell.

The smell??? Like dying wet leaves! No no no.

 

[The Devils Arse]

When I was at uni, Thursday nights at the outback bar was £1.50 a pint for snakebite and black. Used to wake up with dried rivers of red down my boobs when i had clearly missed my mouth and dribbled. Glamorous!

I was on a training course with a few Scots, and someone had bought some buckfast for us who were not well versed in it. I was chatting to a lad from glasgow I think it was and the buckfast made it's way over to us. He just held out his half empty pint and just asked for it to be filled to the top. Buckfast and beer!!

 

[Flumps]

Oh, another keystone of my teenage years - my friends and I piercing each others ears with a highly sterilised (i.e. waved over a gas hob flame) needle and a bit of cork.

 

[JoyceDivision]

Believe me, paragraphs don't make it any better.

She has absolutely no bleeping idea.

Jack, in case you are not aware, chemo can totally duck with your tastebuds. So food you previously thought was yummy has all the appeal of wall paper paste. And of course there is the nausea and the constipation or diarrhoea. It's not just going 'ooh ouchy mouth' like you're a bleeping five year old.

You twit.

And on top of all that, you really can’t be fucked cooking when even walking from your bed to the sofa is a Herculean effort. It took all my strength to even got myself a glass of water and I didn’t even have hardcore chemotherapy

this is so so so infuriating. She really rinses my beans

 

[Fitnessqueen]

My teenage uniform was vest top or band t-shirt, german army shirt, black mini skirt, thick black tights and german paratrooper boots. For winter, I threw an army parka or leather jacket over the top. Oh and a dog choke chain with a padlock on it as jewellery (one horsespunk lasagne to anyone who gets that reference). Occasionally in summer I'd wear old vintage dresses, but always tights and the massive boots like these:

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At 16 (for 6th form) I added some culturally questionable dreadlocks, nose and eyebrow piercings (done with a gun in a dodgy inside-market stall). And used to walk around with my bass guitar 80% of the time.

I laugh heartily at my teenage self, in retrospect.

Husband plays bass in various local bands. It’s one of the reasons he’s my husband. And the bass amps cluttering up living room also double up as cat beds.

 

[Motherwellgirl]

Jamie is rich and cares about poverty.

Jack is rich and still peddles the I am poor line.

No she’s not. I’m very well qualified and I have a lot of work experience but if not for my mum I would have gone under financially several times.

I live in an area where unemployment is high and it’s hard to find secure work.

I honestly can’t be bothered with the I’m so poor.

My flat is going to be sold within the next two months (not my choice) and I’ll have money in the bank for the first time in ten years.

Even when I was earning half decent money back in the day (I’m an addiction worker turned personal trainer) I worked for charities and got paid poorly compared to my qualifications

Honestly. Shut up about how you were poor for a year ten years ago. It’s tiresome.

 

[MarthaFarkus]

I once drank about 7 bottles of Blackcurrant Hooch (remember that?) and threw up purple foam all night. Ahhh the 90’s.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[AmTellinYa]

I used to use henna, My hair grew progressively redder and redder until it was virtually luminous. I used to like the smell.

The result was definitely worth the smell.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She isn't aware as she has never had chemo. It's bleeping tit Jack, trust. Why are you so desperate to be ill?

(I do not have cancer BTW it's for my arthritis, and it's a low dose in the grand scheme of things to supplement another immunosuppressant. I am lucky to receive both)

Agreed and honestly feel for anyone feeling triggered by this, I find it uncomfortable too and I was lucky that mine was surgically removed but am going through a bit of a repeat scare now so don't really want to constantly be thinking about it.

It's unsurprising though if you think about it, like someone that can pretend to have done a job like serve in the fire brigade for clout & someone that thinks aggregating the work of black women and publishing it under her name is progressive, someone that calls herself "white as mayonnaise" in a BLM vid whilst coincidentally under contract with a Unilever mayo brand, someone that cosplays as working class, someone that cosplays living in poverty whilst having a house full of premium furniture, that poor kitten being deprived of visiting a vet for weeks, like ALL of these things indicate utter gutter trash morality so dropping little nuggets of chemo talk here and there so people think she's seriously unwell isn't beyond her, sadly.

 

[FrumpyCat]

The smell??? Like dying wet leaves! No no no.

It was a lovely earthy smell, a bit like fresh mud mixed with grass. I'm not selling this well am I?