Jack Monroe #37 Don't f*** with cats.

[AmTellinYa]

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Don't flatter yourself dear heart.

 

[Veronicaaa]

And on top of all that, you really can’t be fucked cooking when even walking from your bed to the sofa is a Herculean effort.

I'm guessing it's for the families to cook for their loved ones? As though people are going to start experimenting with new recipes instead of, you know, trying to get a protein drink down them?

 

[peperomia]

I once drank about 7 bottles of Blackcurrant Hooch (remember that?) and threw up purple foam all night. Ahhh the 90’s.

Lemon Hooch came back about 5 years ago, I'm not sure if it's still around though?

 

[FrumpyCat]

Oh, another keystone of my teenage years - my friends and I piercing each others ears with a highly sterilised (i.e. waved over a gas hob flame) needle and a bit of cork.

Numbed with an ice cube. Jesus, I'd forgotten all about that.

 

[peperomia]

And on top of all that, you really can’t be fucked cooking when even walking from your bed to the sofa is a Herculean effort. It took all my strength to even got myself a glass of water and I didn’t even have hardcore chemotherapy

this is so so so infuriating. She really rinses my beans

I think ''rinses my beans'' needs to enter thread vernacular ASAP

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

She isn't aware as she has never had chemo. It's bleeping tit Jack, trust. Why are you so desperate to be ill?

(I do not have cancer BTW it's for my arthritis, and it's a low dose in the grand scheme of things to supplement another immunosuppressant. I am lucky to receive both)

If that's MTX, not just manky tasting tomato, cabbage, broccoli, peppers, apples, pears, oranges, mango, basil and paprika, along with almost all spices being tasteless or soapy, it caused permanent lactose intolerance for me. - and nausea after eating anything fatty that wasn't direct from an animal - not touched chocolate in years as they use palm oil, which tastes likes puke to me since the MTX years.

Spent most of my time eating sushi, cold cuts, plain chicken, gherkins and black (not green) olives. And I completely went off crisps and bread in the process.

 

[Motherwellgirl]

When I was at uni, Thursday nights at the outback bar was £1.50 a pint for snakebite and black. Used to wake up with dried rivers of red down my boobs when i had clearly missed my mouth and dribbled. Glamorous!

I was on a training course with a few Scots, and someone had bought some buckfast for us who were not well versed in it. I was chatting to a lad from glasgow I think it was and the buckfast made it's way over to us. He just held out his half empty pint and just asked for it to be filled to the top. Buckfast and beer!!

Us scots are hardcore.

Then there’s the accent.

At the risk of sounding like a self obsessed narc. I like my accent

I like other accents as well but Scottish isn’t the worst.

My court outfit is going to be an inflatable bottle of buckfast

 

[FridayFunDay]

Ah the 90s where my £5 pocket money would keep me in booze and fags for 2 nights

1 litre of white lightening £1.15
10 Lambert and Butler £1.35

Rinse and repeat on the Saturday

Best days of my life!

 

[Veronicaaa]

She thinks we're behind everything! What about all the followers you keep losing, Jack, did we get to each and every one of them too?

 

[Figmentofimagination]

Lentils, garlic, onion and tumeric slop for a chemo patient? No bleeping thanks. Firstly, garlic and onion is too strongly flavoured and too harsh on the stomach. Vom.
Also it looks like sick. Just what you want to be faced with after puking your guts up all night!

"Ouchy mouth" recipes is just the worst idea. If your mouth is that sore from chemo, you just can't eat, or you live on ice, or jelly. Or nothing. I had mouth sores so bad I was hospitalised and couldn't even drink water for weeks. Eleven-erifed your "mouth sore" there, soz Jack!

(I'm okay now, in remission, but it does get my goat that she's somehow equating her lip filler cover story with what a chemo patient goes through)

 

[FridayFunDay]

And attempting to tattoo ourselves with Indian ink and a sewing needle passed through the flame of a clipper.

 

[MarthaFarkus]

Agreed and honestly feel for anyone feeling triggered by this, I find it uncomfortable too and I was lucky that mine was surgically removed but am going through a bit of a repeat scare now so don't really want to constantly be thinking about it.

It's unsurprising though if you think about it, like someone that can pretend to have done a job like serve in the fire brigade for clout & someone that thinks aggregating the work of black women and publishing it under her name is progressive, someone that calls herself "white as mayonnaise" in a BLM vid whilst coincidentally under contract with a Unilever mayo brand, someone that cosplays as working class, someone that cosplays living in poverty whilst having a house full of premium furniture, that poor kitten being deprived of visiting a vet for weeks, like ALL of these things indicate utter gutter trash morality so dropping little nuggets of chemo talk here and there so people think she's seriously unwell isn't beyond her, sadly.

Sorry to hear this, I hope all will be well for you. I feel for people triggered by this too, it’s not fair. She triggers me in lots of ways too if I’m honest. I’ve been diagnosed with late onset Schizophrenia this week (and accepted into Uni to do a Masters degree - swings and roundabouts) and she just pisses me off with her constant whining and bullshitting. The whole cat thing distresses me too. I’ve become so paranoid that someone is going to harm my cats that she’s tipping me over the edge and this is why I’m very much appreciative of the cat stuff being behind spoilers.

Maybe more than I probably wanted to share on an internet forum but a lot of you lovelies have been so open and honest about what you’re going through, it just felt right - you know?

Lemon Hooch came back about 5 years ago, I'm not sure if it's still around though?

I hope not, it was like washing up liquid on reflection

 

[JoyceDivision]

Sorry to hear this, I hope all will be well for you. I feel for people triggered by this too, it’s not fair. She triggers me in lots of ways too if I’m honest. I’ve been diagnosed with late onset Schizophrenia this week (and accepted into Uni to do a Masters degree - swings and roundabouts) and she just pisses me off with her constant whining and bullshitting. The whole cat thing distresses me too. I’ve become so paranoid that someone is going to harm my cats that she’s tipping me over the edge and this is why I’m very much appreciative of the cat stuff being behind spoilers.

Maybe more than I probably wanted to share on an internet forum but a lot of you lovelies have been so open and honest about what you’re going through, it just felt right - you know?



I hope not, it was like washing up liquid on reflection

Congratulations on the Masters acceptance!! Gentle hugs for the diagnosis - fingers crossed that you receive nothing less than stellar care

hooch

 

[Pocahontas]

My teenage uniform was vest top or band t-shirt, german army shirt, black mini skirt, thick black tights and german paratrooper boots. For winter, I threw an army parka or leather jacket over the top. Oh and a dog choke chain with a padlock on it as jewellery (one horsespunk lasagne to anyone who gets that reference). Occasionally in summer I'd wear old vintage dresses, but always tights and the massive boots like these:

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At 16 (for 6th form) I added some culturally questionable dreadlocks, nose and eyebrow piercings (done with a gun in a dodgy inside-market stall). And used to walk around with my bass guitar 80% of the time.

I laugh heartily at my teenage self, in retrospect.

Sounds like we would have got on heartily

 

[Fitnessqueen]

Caught up! Love the reminiscing! I‘m an 80s girl so did the black and white ska revival, ra-ra skirts, New Romantic, Phil Oakey Human League hairstyle etc. Then I had a second ”teenage” in the late 90s so did the butterfly clips, combat trousers worn with kickers and cropped tops, got my belly button pierced, had a woman stamp tattoo and stripy hair

 

[JoyceDivision]

Caught up! Love the reminiscing! I‘m an 80s girl so did the black and white ska revival, ra-ra skirts, New Romantic, Phil Oakey Human League hairstyle etc. Then I had a second ”teenage” in the late 90s so did the butterfly clips, combat trousers worn with kickers and cropped tops, got my belly button pierced, had a woman stamp tattoo and stripy hair

Phil Oakley *swoons*

 

[Ronlonglegs]

Ah the nostalgia! One of my patients uses Impulse body spray and it’s like I’m back to being a teenager every time I see her. My mum used to bring me back a bottle of Tommy Girl perfume whenever she went away too, that was the height of sophistication.
I love Dr Marten’s. I used to stare longingly at the shop in Southend that sold them (I can’t remember the name of it and that will annoy me all day!) as it was near our hang out place of “the clock by the odeon”.

Victoria shoes .... there was alsona little shop that sold dms by sunrooms

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

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PSA Jack: IG is a nice place if you are a decent human being, refrain from telling huge porkies and do not post triggering photos of yourself.
If you continue to parade your lies then you will be found out, exactly like you were on Twitter. Sorry for being honest.

 

[Fitnessqueen]

Phil Oakley *swoons*

I had such a crush. And a lot of people said I looked like Susanne Sully back in the day!

 

[peperomia]

Agreed and honestly feel for anyone feeling triggered by this, I find it uncomfortable too and I was lucky that mine was surgically removed but am going through a bit of a repeat scare now so don't really want to constantly be thinking about it.

It's unsurprising though if you think about it, like someone that can pretend to have done a job like serve in the fire brigade for clout & someone that thinks aggregating the work of black women and publishing it under her name is progressive, someone that calls herself "white as mayonnaise" in a BLM vid whilst coincidentally under contract with a Unilever mayo brand, someone that cosplays as working class, someone that cosplays living in poverty whilst having a house full of premium furniture, that poor kitten being deprived of visiting a vet for weeks, like ALL of these things indicate utter gutter trash morality so dropping little nuggets of chemo talk here and there so people think she's seriously unwell isn't beyond her, sadly.

I hope everything goes as well as can be, whatever the result <3. Yy to all of the above.
bleeping narc bleep fantasist.